Still living at home at 33

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Kasa
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#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
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Prior to gaining a job, my ‘’brother’’ was unemployed for seven years. In that period, he was a parasitic worm: consuming my mother of her financial resources, causing fights, dishing out horrible psychological abuse, general laziness, whilst impinging on the growth and development of his younger brother, such to the extent that we no longer speak.

For reasons unknown, he has been fired from his job, returning back home. And more often than not he is up to his same tricks. What’s worse, my mother seems to succumb to his bidding, and, hence, we are faced with a gender reversal role of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, where we have a domineering character on a person with a serious inferiority complex...

As the younger brother, what should I do?
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lee1985
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You're in no position to do anything. Your mother is also his mother, and sometimes a mother just has that bond with her son. My friend is still a mummy's boy at 29 and his mum does anything and everything for him and will stick up for him when people interfere. Anything you try and do will cause family arguments and potentially cause tension between you and your mum.
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by Kasa)
Prior to gaining a job, my ‘’brother’’ was unemployed for seven years. In that period, he was a parasitic worm: consuming my mother of her financial resources, causing fights, dishing out horrible psychological abuse, general laziness, whilst impinging on the growth and development of his younger brother, such to the extent that we no longer speak.

For reasons unknown, he has been fired from his job, returning back home. And more often than not he is up to his same tricks. What’s worse, my mother seems to succumb to his bidding, and, hence, we are faced with a gender reversal role of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, where we have a domineering character on a person with a serious inferiority complex...

As the younger brother, what should I do?
My god - I look at this and I see my brother in law - a parasitic worm too. It sounds like your brother is a narcissist - don't even bother with analysing the situation just go straight to the Narcissists exposed by Drew Keys - it is american and a bit OTT but there he is.


FYI - my brother in law - cleaned his mother out of £100000, his sister out of £30000 and my husband out of £1000 before I put my foot down. He is a fantasist who believes he is the next richard branson but in reality is the failed "del boy" and if you know how ironic that was….

Your mother has to be removed from the situation now…. please message me if you want further advice or support - I am not sure the student room is the right place to be posting this though
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Kasa
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Report Thread starter 6 years ago
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(Original post by lee1985)
You're in no position to do anything. Your mother is also his mother, and sometimes a mother just has that bond with her son. My friend is still a mummy's boy at 29 and his mum does anything and everything for him and will stick up for him when people interfere. Anything you try and do will cause family arguments and potentially cause tension between you and your mum.
I know. I am well aware of the damage the sibling rift has caused to the relationship of me and my mother: A relationship that should be tenuous. However, at the same time, I cannot sit by and watch as he continues to sit at home, lounging in his self created prison with his relentlessly smug satisfication...
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Kasa
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(Original post by squeakysquirrel)
My god - I look at this and I see my brother in law - a parasitic worm too. It sounds like your brother is a narcissist - don't even bother with analysing the situation just go straight to the Narcissists exposed by Drew Keys - it is american and a bit OTT but there he is.


FYI - my brother in law - cleaned his mother out of £100000, his sister out of £30000 and my husband out of £1000 before I put my foot down. He is a fantasist who believes he is the next richard branson but in reality is the failed "del boy" and if you know how ironic that was….

Your mother has to be removed from the situation now…. please message me if you want further advice or support - I am not sure the student room is the right place to be posting this though
Narcissistic yes. To pathological extremes, which is what you have described, probably not.

When I said that he is draining my mother of her financial resources, it is for the context that is difficult to upkeep a man in his 30s within a small impoverished household..
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Orthonym
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Report 6 years ago
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He can sit there smugly if he wants, he's the one in his own created prison.

keep yourself to yourself and don't give him the fight that he wants. If you act ok around him, you don't give him satisfaction, which adds to the emptiness of his life. Behind that smug smile he feels like a loser who needs to get a job, so don't distract him from that.
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