Falling in love before getting together?

I'm having a (kind of) debate with my friend, he thinks that to be with someone, meaning boyfriend and girlfriend etc. that you must love them before being together. Where as I believe that you love them once all the butterflies have gone and you've gotten to know them properly and seen them on their good days and bad days. What do you think?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

joker12345

19

You can get to know them before being together, hence love them before being boyfriend and girlfriend. I like it that way as the relationship seems more meaningful.

Reply 2

ilex_noemi

11

I was almost in love with my boyfriend before I even met him!
We met online and talked 24/7. Literally he'd be the 1st and last person I'd message everyday with 100s of messages in between!
We even watched movies together at the same time when they were on tv and he made me laugh so much. It seems kind of sad writing it, but I thought he was lovely lol
When I met him and he was exactly the same, it was pretty much instant!

I've been with him for 10 months :smile:

Reply 3

DannyH786

To be honest alot of people confuse the term "Love" with just having feelings for someone, love is a strong word and to fall in love before getting together seems hard to believe. So my answer to your question Kayleigh is No. Get into a relationship and the love will follow trust me :smile:

Reply 4

Mockery

17

All "I love you" means to me is "I'm completely emotionally invested in you". To be in such a state before even getting together, never mind prematurely whilst in a relationship, is just immature and asking for problems.

Reply 5

bumblebee342

13

Original post by kayleighisonfire

I'm having a (kind of) debate with my friend, he thinks that to be with someone, meaning boyfriend and girlfriend etc. that you must love them before being together. Where as I believe that you love them once all the butterflies have gone and you've gotten to know them properly and seen them on their good days and bad days. What do you think?

I think that's rubbish to be honest, I don't think you have to be in love with someone when you get into a relationship with them. Some people would be waiting an awfully long time before they were properly together. Fair enough if you already love each other when you enter the relationship, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with being with someone before you're in love with them...

Reply 6

S1elyak1

OP

21

Original post by DannyH786

To be honest alot of people confuse the term "Love" with just having feelings for someone, love is a strong word and to fall in love before getting together seems hard to believe. So my answer to your question Kayleigh is No. Get into a relationship and the love will follow trust me :smile:

That's what I thought, I've loved someone before and still do love them so to me it makes sense to do it my way.

Original post by bumblebee342

I think that's rubbish to be honest, I don't think you have to be in love with someone when you get into a relationship with them. Some people would be waiting an awfully long time before they were properly together. Fair enough if you already love each other when you enter the relationship, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with being with someone before you're in love with them...

My point exactly! If he was to wait he would miss out on so many potential girlfriends!

Reply 7

joker12345

19

Original post by DannyH786

To be honest alot of people confuse the term "Love" with just having feelings for someone, love is a strong word and to fall in love before getting together seems hard to believe. So my answer to your question Kayleigh is No. Get into a relationship and the love will follow trust me :smile:

Why is it hard to believe? Sure, love can come in a relationship but I don't see why it's hard to believe it could happen the other way around.

Reply 8

joker12345

19

Original post by Mockery

All "I love you" means to me is "I'm completely emotionally invested in you". To be in such a state before even getting together, never mind prematurely whilst in a relationship, is just immature and asking for problems.

I don't see what's immature about spending time with, and falling in love with someone before dating them.

Reply 9

Alarae

16

I think love grows with the relationship. It's a bit of lust and comfort in the initial stages, but a few months down the line when you know that other person better than you know yourself and vice versa, then you realise you love them.

I don't really believe that one day love just happens- I think you just get to a point where you realise your relationship has evolved and become love :smile:

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Reply 10

Rum Ham

20

I fell in love with my partner before we officially got together too. We were best friends before we started dating and we went through the butterfly lusty stage when we were friends and also went we started to go out but before we started dating we also saw each other at our worst, had arguments and disagreements etc and I think for us it made us stronger when we got together as a couple because we had already been through things together and it didnt put us off each other, but made the feelings stronger.

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Reply 11

Unconventional.

18

Me and my partner were about as close to love at first sight as you can reasonably get lol. We got together a few days after first meeting, but I would say we properly were in love with each other about two months after that into the relationship. I think you can fall in love before or after getting together, depends.

Reply 12

Big-Daddy

13

Original post by bumblebee342

I think that's rubbish to be honest, I don't think you have to be in love with someone when you get into a relationship with them. Some people would be waiting an awfully long time before they were properly together. Fair enough if you already love each other when you enter the relationship, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with being with someone before you're in love with them...