Asians: do you struggle to talk to white people? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
I'm an Asian female medical student and I am really struggling to make conversation with most the white people on my firm, particularly the guys. I'm not religious, I drink, I have had boyfriends and I have lived in the country all my life. Just....there's a barrier there and I don't know why. Does anyone else feel the same?
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#2
Anyone?
0
reply
JindleBrey
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#3
Report 5 years ago
#3
Asia is big, what country are your family originally from?
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#4
Report 5 years ago
#4
I grew up in Asia had a good number of friends, male and female. Since I moved to the UK, I find it harder to bond with white people and have zero male friends here.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#5
Report 5 years ago
#5
Im an englsih white girl and i struggle to talk to some asian girls :confused: i know how you feel there seems to be a kind of awkardness asif you're both different people , but i think it comes with confidence. If you are open and friendly you will more often than not get a friendly response. Although you may seem like different people if you try and break past that barrier you will find you have alot more in common with some white guys than you think
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#6
Yeah
0
reply
m93100
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#7
Report 5 years ago
#7
I'm south Asian and I never had trouble talking to any other race people. Am I the only one that doesn't look at people via their race/ religion? They are humans, just like you.
8
reply
Anonymous #4
#8
Report 5 years ago
#8
Im an asian guy and all of my closest friends are white - ive never had this type of problem. Ive literally been to parties of 50 people and me being the only person whos not white there and ive never had the same problem you seem to have. Maybe its your perception?
0
reply
effofex
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#9
Report 5 years ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm an Asian female medical student and I am really struggling to make conversation with most the white people on my firm, particularly the guys. I'm not religious, I drink, I have had boyfriends and I have lived in the country all my life. Just....there's a barrier there and I don't know why. Does anyone else feel the same?
If I struggle to understand Westerners I ask them to speak slower for me, and write down words which I don't recognize. If there is still a communication problem then I ask them to type whatever they are saying into Google Translate.

Worked alright in Amsterdam.
0
reply
CryptoidAlien
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#10
Report 5 years ago
#10
I'm white and have the same problem. Looking a non-white person in the eyes whilst talking feels dodgy sometimes. But sometimes I don't realize it at all really. I have the same whilst talking to children or people younger than me, feels weird. I don't have any non-white friends really, I used to, but not anymore.
1
reply
democracyforum
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#11
Report 5 years ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm an Asian female medical student and I am really struggling to make conversation with most the white people on my firm, particularly the guys. I'm not religious, I drink, I have had boyfriends and I have lived in the country all my life. Just....there's a barrier there and I don't know why. Does anyone else feel the same?
This fear, being afraid, comes from feeling judged (laughed at, embarrassed ) and (possibly) inferior (not racially, I mean in just how you feel generally.) What are you afraid of ?

Let me give an example. You look like the elephant man. Would you have difficulty talking to people ?

If so, why ? if not, why not ?

it's the same example. A fear of something, that holds you back from doing something else, to avoid a negative emotion.

What if a famous celebrity walked past you ? Would you be afraid ? If so why ? identify the emotions and thought process that happens. You think they are superior, you are inferior, so you feel worth-less, not good enough,

but you only feel those emotions when they are triggered by the event given in my example.




or am i talking cra* ?
2
reply
Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#12
(Original post by democracyforum)
This fear, being afraid, comes from feeling judged (laughed at, embarrassed ) and (possibly) inferior (not racially, I mean in just how you feel generally.) What are you afraid of ?

Let me give an example. You look like the elephant man. Would you have difficulty talking to people ?

If so, why ? if not, why not ?

it's the same example. A fear of something, that holds you back from doing something else, to avoid a negative emotion.

What if a famous celebrity walked past you ? Would you be afraid ? If so why ? identify the emotions and thought process that happens. You think they are superior, you are inferior, so you feel worth-less, not good enough,

but you only feel those emotions when they are triggered by the event given in my example.




or am i talking cra* ?
Wow. I think that was so spot on it's scary. Yeah I do feel inferior but I don't know why.
0
reply
perfezione
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#13
Report 5 years ago
#13
is this a troll thread or something . whats wrong with talking to white people, they are human aswell ? '-'

tbh im more comfortable talking to white people than Asians cause most asians are just abit too arrogant !
1
reply
Soutia
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#14
Report 5 years ago
#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm an Asian female medical student and I am really struggling to make conversation with most the white people on my firm, particularly the guys. I'm not religious, I drink, I have had boyfriends and I have lived in the country all my life. Just....there's a barrier there and I don't know why. Does anyone else feel the same?

Same here but I'm south Asian,me and whites ,we don't share any common stuff and to be honest most of them see me as a sexual stuff and nothing else ,so I avoid whites in general.
0
reply
usycool1
  • Study Helper
Badges: 19
#15
Report 5 years ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm an Asian female medical student and I am really struggling to make conversation with most the white people on my firm, particularly the guys. I'm not religious, I drink, I have had boyfriends and I have lived in the country all my life. Just....there's a barrier there and I don't know why. Does anyone else feel the same?
Nope, I get equally as shy whenever I talk to anyone new, regardless of race
0
reply
democracyforum
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#16
Report 5 years ago
#16
Inferiority comes from low self esteem,
low confidence means you don't think you are good enough to have a nice house, a good job,
a nice life, nice things,
because you have no self worth,
perhaps a guilt complex.

no self worth usually comes from comparing yourself to others who are superior,
why are you comparing yourself ?
why do you feel you aren't good enough for their attention ?
because you think they are better ? why ?

why do you judge yourself ?
perhaps you are ashamed.
perhaps you have a drug addiction you are ashamed of, or maybe you think you are too ugly, too poor, too badly dressed,
and you come to the conclusion, I'm not good enough.
follow the thought process,
what goes on in your mind as you approach someone.

go deep inside your own mind, very deep, only you can do it.
5
reply
Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#17
(Original post by democracyforum)
Inferiority comes from low self esteem,
low confidence means you don't think you are good enough to have a nice house, a good job,
a nice life, nice things,
because you have no self worth,
perhaps a guilt complex.

no self worth usually comes from comparing yourself to others who are superior,
why are you comparing yourself ?
why do you feel you aren't good enough for their attention ?
because you think they are better ? why ?

why do you judge yourself ?
perhaps you are ashamed.
perhaps you have a drug addiction you are ashamed of, or maybe you think you are too ugly, too poor, too badly dressed,
and you come to the conclusion, I'm not good enough.
follow the thought process,
what goes on in your mind as you approach someone.

go deep inside your own mind, very deep, only you can do it.
This is really helpful. Really helpful. What do you study?
0
reply
democracyforum
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#18
Report 5 years ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
This is really helpful. Really helpful. What do you study?
Nothing at the moment.

Some more questions to ask.

If you were a billionaire with model good looks, could you lose this fear of approaching people ?
Maybe. maybe not. if yes, ask why it does.

What if you spent all your time helping disabled and homeless people, would your self esteem increase ?
Maybe, maybe not ?

What if you ate hamburgers all day and played video games all day, would you have much self esteem and confidence to approach people, and would you feel inferior ? Maybe, maybe not. would you feel ashamed ? maybe, maybe not.

What are you afraid of being judged on ? what holds you back ? does it even matter if people do judge you ? why do you have low self esteem ? what are you ashamed of ?

do you feel like a loser ? if so, ask why. how can you not feel this way, what do I need to do, what do I need to stop doing.
0
reply
Anonymous #5
#19
Report 5 years ago
#19
(Original post by m93100)
I'm south Asian and I never had trouble talking to any other race people. Am I the only one that doesn't look at people via their race/ religion? They are humans, just like you.
exactly I'm south Asian too. If anything, I feel just a little bit more comfortable with white people since I'm more used to seeing them than any other nationality (including fellow south Asians)
1
reply
ChickenMadness
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#20
Report 5 years ago
#20
(Original post by perfezione)
is this a troll thread or something . whats wrong with talking to white people, they are human aswell ? '-'

tbh im more comfortable talking to white people than Asians cause most asians are just abit too arrogant !
That attitude is probably why she doesn't feel comfortable talking to white people lel.
6
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you made up your mind on your five uni choices?

Yes I know where I'm applying (150)
59.52%
No I haven't decided yet (57)
22.62%
Yes but I might change my mind (45)
17.86%

Watched Threads

View All