FEMINISTS - Slut shaming actually harms men and benefits women,
Obviously one of the most important terms in feminist newspeak is "slut shaming," deployed whenever anyone has the nerve to suggest that maybe women shouldn't try to see how many dicks they can ride while in their 20's.
The MRA crowd, not unlike the feminists, have developed their own newspeak, with the term "virgin shaming" to describe how society treats men who have not had sex.
I imagine most readers here already understand the evolutionary reasons why the so-called double standard of "promiscuous men=studs, promiscuous women=sluts" exists, so I won't explain it here.
What I've been reflecting on recently is that the converse of this "double standard" actually benefits women and harms men.
You see, if a man is a virgin, it is often assumed the reason is because he can't get laid. There is just as much social pressure (probably even more, actually) for men to go out and have sex as there is for women to remain chaste. But here's the thing, going out and getting laid takes effort for men. For starters, it helps to look good and be confident. This can cause anxiety for men who don't naturally have those traits. If you approach a women and you're socially awkward or unattractive, you may very well be called a "creep." So we compensate by developing confidence, game, having a good life, lifting, wearing good clothes, etc.
While feminists like to complain that women's virginity has been fetishized, this actually yields benefits, because no one (outside of some "sex-positive" feminists themselves) shames women for being virgins. In fact, in this day and age, a woman remaining a virgin till marriage is impressive. Some here would even call such women (when attractive) unicorns. Unless you're truly ugly, few will question whether youcould get laid if you're a woman and still a virgin. Unlike their male counterparts, even moderately attractive women usually get hit on on a fairly regular basis, and have plenty of opportunities to sleep with men of equal or higher SMV. Plus, if they're in their prime, they probably have lots of female friends who are sleeping around, creating pressure on them to follow suit.
Furthermore, thanks to modern feminism, the stigma on women for not being a virgin at marriage and even sleeping around is as diminished as it's ever been. It's a win-win situation. If you remained a virgin or have a low partner count, you might find a high-value man to marry who values the restraint you displayed, and statistically your marriage is more likely to succeed. Even if you're a woman who rode the cock carousel in your younger years, you can still find a nice provider to marry (and still maybe get some dick on the side).
Now, unlike the MRA's, I don't think we should force society to stop "creep shaming" or "virgin shaming" men. These are unfortunate realities, but their existence goes deeper than just outdated social standards. Instead, men need to maximize their attractiveness, no matter what their intended outcome is. If you don't want to be rejected as a creep, don't be one. Lifting, good hygiene and clothes, and developing social skills will go a long way towards this end. Even if you intend to remain a virgin till marriage for religious reasons or simply don't want to have FWBS, you should still maximize your attractiveness so that nobody doubts you're truly living the way you do by choice. Even if you don't intend to be crushing as much pussy as humanly possible, you need to look like the guy that easily could if he wanted to. This is the lesson I've been learning.
TL;DR: Even moderately attractive women can just as easily as not remain virgins or keep a low partner count and people will understand they did so "by choice" and respect them for it, but sluts can get by just as easily. For men, being a virgin is not viewed as a choice, but a consequence of not being attractive to women. Women benefit from the converse of the sexual "double standard.
The MRA crowd, not unlike the feminists, have developed their own newspeak, with the term "virgin shaming" to describe how society treats men who have not had sex.
I imagine most readers here already understand the evolutionary reasons why the so-called double standard of "promiscuous men=studs, promiscuous women=sluts" exists, so I won't explain it here.
What I've been reflecting on recently is that the converse of this "double standard" actually benefits women and harms men.
You see, if a man is a virgin, it is often assumed the reason is because he can't get laid. There is just as much social pressure (probably even more, actually) for men to go out and have sex as there is for women to remain chaste. But here's the thing, going out and getting laid takes effort for men. For starters, it helps to look good and be confident. This can cause anxiety for men who don't naturally have those traits. If you approach a women and you're socially awkward or unattractive, you may very well be called a "creep." So we compensate by developing confidence, game, having a good life, lifting, wearing good clothes, etc.
While feminists like to complain that women's virginity has been fetishized, this actually yields benefits, because no one (outside of some "sex-positive" feminists themselves) shames women for being virgins. In fact, in this day and age, a woman remaining a virgin till marriage is impressive. Some here would even call such women (when attractive) unicorns. Unless you're truly ugly, few will question whether youcould get laid if you're a woman and still a virgin. Unlike their male counterparts, even moderately attractive women usually get hit on on a fairly regular basis, and have plenty of opportunities to sleep with men of equal or higher SMV. Plus, if they're in their prime, they probably have lots of female friends who are sleeping around, creating pressure on them to follow suit.
Furthermore, thanks to modern feminism, the stigma on women for not being a virgin at marriage and even sleeping around is as diminished as it's ever been. It's a win-win situation. If you remained a virgin or have a low partner count, you might find a high-value man to marry who values the restraint you displayed, and statistically your marriage is more likely to succeed. Even if you're a woman who rode the cock carousel in your younger years, you can still find a nice provider to marry (and still maybe get some dick on the side).
Now, unlike the MRA's, I don't think we should force society to stop "creep shaming" or "virgin shaming" men. These are unfortunate realities, but their existence goes deeper than just outdated social standards. Instead, men need to maximize their attractiveness, no matter what their intended outcome is. If you don't want to be rejected as a creep, don't be one. Lifting, good hygiene and clothes, and developing social skills will go a long way towards this end. Even if you intend to remain a virgin till marriage for religious reasons or simply don't want to have FWBS, you should still maximize your attractiveness so that nobody doubts you're truly living the way you do by choice. Even if you don't intend to be crushing as much pussy as humanly possible, you need to look like the guy that easily could if he wanted to. This is the lesson I've been learning.
TL;DR: Even moderately attractive women can just as easily as not remain virgins or keep a low partner count and people will understand they did so "by choice" and respect them for it, but sluts can get by just as easily. For men, being a virgin is not viewed as a choice, but a consequence of not being attractive to women. Women benefit from the converse of the sexual "double standard.
(edited 9 years ago)
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Come on OP, if a woman finds a guy attractive, ****s him and then gets blasted for it by her friends/acquaintances then how is this a good situation for her?
And btw you're foolish if you think that men receive just as much shame for being a virgin as a woman does for being promiscuous.
And btw you're foolish if you think that men receive just as much shame for being a virgin as a woman does for being promiscuous.
Original post by Dark Horse
Come on OP, if a woman finds a guy attractive, ****s him and then gets blasted for it by her friends/acquaintances then how is this a good situation for her?
And btw you're foolish if you think that men receive just as much shame for being a virgin as a woman does for being promiscuous.
And btw you're foolish if you think that men receive just as much shame for being a virgin as a woman does for being promiscuous.
oh really? Look at Elliot Rodger, there are millions of guys like that, shamed because they are virgins.
Original post by Smokestack
oh really? Look at Elliot Rodger, there are millions of guys like that, shamed because they are virgins.
No one shamed him for it. He had a full blown paranoia and imagined that people were looking down on his virginity (how would they even know about it?) while passing him on the street.
Original post by Smokestack
oh really? Look at Elliot Rodger, there are millions of guys like that, shamed because they are virgins.
I don't think it's because he was a virgin, somehow.
Original post by ilem
I don't quite follow how it is beneficial for someone to be subjected to constant criticism for their sexual behaviour, whether promiscuity or abstinence.
Yeah I completely agree, it just shows how feminism doesn't focus on men, only on women even when there are issues regarding men to be addressed, they blame and demonize men, who also suffer from gender inequality.
Original post by Dark Horse
I don't think it's because he was a virgin, somehow.
Uh yeah, look at the response to his death, people calling him the 'virginator' etc
Original post by ilem
No one shamed him for it. He had a full blown paranoia and imagined that people were looking down on his virginity (how would they even know about it?) while passing him on the street.
He supposedly spent most of his time on:-
Misc
PUAhate
ForeverAlone, the subReddit
Love-Shy.com
Xanax
It's a good point. But it's the not the only side to the story.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Smokestack
Uh yeah, look at the response to his death, people calling him the 'virginator' etc
Well what do you expect on the internet? I'm guessing there are countless memes already.
Slut-shaming usually happens IRL within all-female social circles. Some women even get ousted from these social circles if all the other girls start saying she's a slut.
Original post by Dark Horse
Well what do you expect on the internet? I'm guessing there are countless memes already.
Slut-shaming usually happens IRL within all-female social circles. Some women even get ousted from these social circles if all the other girls start saying she's a slut.
Slut-shaming usually happens IRL within all-female social circles. Some women even get ousted from these social circles if all the other girls start saying she's a slut.
and virgin shaming doesn't?
Original post by Smokestack
and virgin shaming doesn't?
The worst I've seen is men receiving banter for being a virgin. We have the advantage of being able to take it in humour.
Do you really think they'll be an equivalent of The Inbetweeners where girls will all laugh about how much wanton whoring they've been doing?
Original post by Dark Horse
The worst I've seen is men receiving banter for being a virgin. We have the advantage of being able to take it in humour.
Do you really think they'll be an equivalent of The Inbetweeners where girls will all laugh about how much wanton whoring they've been doing?
Do you really think they'll be an equivalent of The Inbetweeners where girls will all laugh about how much wanton whoring they've been doing?
how many girls go on violent rampages after being slut shamed? men who are virgin shamed are silent sufferers
Original post by Smokestack
how many girls go on violent rampages after being slut shamed? men who are virgin shamed are silent sufferers
Their reaction to slut-shaming is usually endless tears.
Although where I live it's not uncommon for girls to scrap with each other, to be honest.
Original post by Smokestack
how many girls go on violent rampages after being slut shamed? men who are virgin shamed are silent sufferers
Not getting laid does not equate to actual suffering. Masturbate.
Besides, Elliot Rodgers never even asked a girl out, or even talked to them. He said that he dressed nicely and went to parks, then felt rejected when women didn't have sex with him.
Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons
Not getting laid does not equate to actual suffering. Masturbate.
Besides, Elliot Rodgers never even asked a girl out, or even talked to them. He said that he dressed nicely and went to parks, then felt rejected when women didn't have sex with him.
Besides, Elliot Rodgers never even asked a girl out, or even talked to them. He said that he dressed nicely and went to parks, then felt rejected when women didn't have sex with him.
How can you say not getting laid does not = suffering? Masturbation is not sex.
Original post by Smokestack
How can you say not getting laid does not = suffering? Masturbation is not sex.
Because I'm not getting laid, and I'm not suffering. Masturbate. The world doesn't owe anyone a ****.
Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons
Because I'm not getting laid, and I'm not suffering. Masturbate. The world doesn't owe anyone a ****.
I didnt say it did? Why are you putting words into my mouth? Just because you personally don't suffer doesn't mean lots of guys who are virgins don't, perhaps you should try and use your empathy a bit?
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