Turn on thread page Beta

Is Anyone As Pathetic As Me?! watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I need to get this off my chest..

    I really need uni. Tonight everyone is celebrating. As i didnt know how to make friends after highschool i didnt make the right connections in college. Like i had made friends with individual people rather than a group. So today my friend asked me to come out but i made the excuse (lied) that i was working tonight. (because i dont really know/like her other friends) Then another friend (a slightly more distant one) pressumed i was going to 5th av tonight. Again i lied. I cant afford it but i could have sacrificed some holiday spending money.

    Then my best friend, who has her own friends and goes to a diff college rang me up, i missed the call so she left a message saying that she hopes im having fun celebrating! and that shes a tad drunk and setting off to go out. You can guess how this made me feel, sad basically. its like theres something inside me that justifies the avoidence of going out (no money etc) But because i only made friends with individual people who didnt know each other, i didnt go out as often. To be honest atall. I have become comfortable with doing nothing. is it laziness? im not sure.

    At uni i'll make sure i make friends with as many people as possible before the cliques happen because this was my mistake in highschool. Ive just applied for accommodation and i think now this was the right choice as i dont want another 3 years without any normal teenage experience atall (drunken nights, boyfriends etc).

    I am a fun person and can be confident so i dont know what it is? scared of being judged??

    This isnt driving me too crazy because uni is soon. Hearing about peoples college experiences and nights out (from my sort of friends, and also my best friend) just make me feel pathetic. In the beginning i was jst so extatic that people were waving to me when i passed them in corridors that i was blinded to how good it could be and left it too late..

    i had 1 or 2 close friends in highschool, 1 i used to go out with regularly but then it kind of stopped. I was friends with like 20 people but again the short conversation and waving..not known enough to be invited to parties. or having a real laugh. I was respected. If i hadnt had this argument in year 7 with a girl i was best friends with it wouldnt be like this because i would have made many more closer friendships as she became part of a group, i naturally would have.


    sorry this maybe totally irrelevant as im not really asking for advice. I just wanted to get it all out y'know. I bet no ones this pathetic right?


    please no nastiness
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    You're putting this down to silly things that happened in the past, seriously i wouldn't
    At uni, (i'm probably just as worried as you y'know) we'll all have the same problem of not knowing anyone etc, and you're not in year 7 now, so it's a brand new start for making new friends... so really, since we all have to experience it, you should simply acknowledge the fact that people are also gonna be nervous, and will be just as eager to get to know you as you are to know them!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I never really went out much before I went to uni as I was never really confident enough to, and also because I didn't have many friends who went out. I really wouldn't worry about it. Everyone gets pigeon holed at school because you've been together so long. Uni has loads of people in and you'll be meeting them from all different places (your course, accom and any clubs you join). Be open and friendly to everyone and if you see someone you've met say hello, you'll make loads of friends.
    Trust me though, the longer you stay at home thinking you don't have a group to go out with, the harder it becomes- I learnt the hard way.
    Why don't you call your best friend and ask her where she is and go meet her? Everyone is out celebrating the same thing anyway, and it will be an opportunity to meet her friends as well. If you really want to you can say your other friends are going to a club you don't like or something. Chat to her friends and ask them stuff- perfect night for it with all the A Level results and uni places being found out!
    Have a good time!

    And plodman is exactly right- everyone is nervous the first few weeks at uni, you'll look as confident to everyone else as they'll look to you!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I'm not going out tonight either.

    I'm happy with my results and all that, but I just can't be bothered going out tonight. Not in the mood, have no money and basically, cant be bothered.

    Dont worry about it. I didnt make any friends in secondary school and only had a handful of friends outside that, when I went to college I made one good friend and that was it. I have a good group of friends now but I plan to do the same as you at uni (afterall, I'm going to be across the water).
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for the responses they made me feel better. I can see my self ringing my friend up as it sounds the right thing to do..I could ask her to go out next week if she is.. but tonight i think im the same as Jim-ie. Not in the mood, have no money and basically cant be bothered.

    Uni hopefully will be a godsend. I really cant wait to get into the swing of things and out of the lazy habits i have come accustomed to in the past few years.

    thanks everyone!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jim-ie)
    I'm not going out tonight either.

    I'm happy with my results and all that, but I just can't be bothered going out tonight. Not in the mood, have no money and basically, cant be bothered.

    Dont worry about it. I didnt make any friends in secondary school and only had a handful of friends outside that, when I went to college I made one good friend and that was it. I have a good group of friends now but I plan to do the same as you at uni (afterall, I'm going to be across the water).
    I'm so bad with identifying flags. I looked at the flag next to your name and thought it would be cool for an Italian to study in the UK... ah well. It's not as cool that you're Irish.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TomX)
    I'm so bad with identifying flags. I looked at the flag next to your name and thought it would be cool for an Italian to study in the UK... ah well. It's not as cool that you're Irish.
    haha! That's exactly what I thought! Although I was surprised Italy's results came out the same day as here :P
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TomX)
    I'm so bad with identifying flags. I looked at the flag next to your name and thought it would be cool for an Italian to study in the UK... ah well. It's not as cool that you're Irish.
    Se scegliete, sono italiano.

    i supported italy in the world cup from day one if that counts
    • #2
    #2

    yea i was the same, but then decided not to feel so self-conscious about myself and just went out with anyone really. (better than staying home watching telly)

    dont be so hard on yourself. your not pathetic, only youve learned what you really want at uni and im sure youll be fine.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TomX)
    Don't lie. Nobody thought Italy would win it before they did. Absolute liar.
    :p: i never lie!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Plodman)
    You're putting this down to silly things that happened in the past, seriously i wouldn't
    At uni, (i'm probably just as worried as you y'know) we'll all have the same problem of not knowing anyone etc, and you're not in year 7 now, so it's a brand new start for making new friends... so really, since we all have to experience it, you should simply acknowledge the fact that people are also gonna be nervous, and will be just as eager to get to know you as you are to know them!
    I actually might know someone, because a guy in my class applied to do the same course as me at the same uni, but I dunno if he got in.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    No worries. Be yourself, buddy! Do what makes you feel comfortable, and don't bow down to fit in with other people. Uni has such a diverse range of people you can't fail to meet someone who respects you, sees you as a friend, and stick around you after years.

    We've all messed things up, it's how we respond that shows who we are. Good luck
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I need to get this off my chest..

    I really need uni. Tonight everyone is celebrating. As i didnt know how to make friends after highschool i didnt make the right connections in college. Like i had made friends with individual people rather than a group. So today my friend asked me to come out but i made the excuse (lied) that i was working tonight. (because i dont really know/like her other friends) Then another friend (a slightly more distant one) pressumed i was going to 5th av tonight. Again i lied. I cant afford it but i could have sacrificed some holiday spending money.

    Then my best friend, who has her own friends and goes to a diff college rang me up, i missed the call so she left a message saying that she hopes im having fun celebrating! and that shes a tad drunk and setting off to go out. You can guess how this made me feel, sad basically. its like theres something inside me that justifies the avoidence of going out (no money etc) But because i only made friends with individual people who didnt know each other, i didnt go out as often. To be honest atall. I have become comfortable with doing nothing. is it laziness? im not sure.

    At uni i'll make sure i make friends with as many people as possible before the cliques happen because this was my mistake in highschool. Ive just applied for accommodation and i think now this was the right choice as i dont want another 3 years without any normal teenage experience atall (drunken nights, boyfriends etc).

    I am a fun person and can be confident so i dont know what it is? scared of being judged??

    This isnt driving me too crazy because uni is soon. Hearing about peoples college experiences and nights out (from my sort of friends, and also my best friend) just make me feel pathetic. In the beginning i was jst so extatic that people were waving to me when i passed them in corridors that i was blinded to how good it could be and left it too late..

    i had 1 or 2 close friends in highschool, 1 i used to go out with regularly but then it kind of stopped. I was friends with like 20 people but again the short conversation and waving..not known enough to be invited to parties. or having a real laugh. I was respected. If i hadnt had this argument in year 7 with a girl i was best friends with it wouldnt be like this because i would have made many more closer friendships as she became part of a group, i naturally would have.


    sorry this maybe totally irrelevant as im not really asking for advice. I just wanted to get it all out y'know. I bet no ones this pathetic right?


    please no nastiness
    in response to the thread title, there are plenty of people more pathtic because what you are describing isnt really that pathetic

    in my experience, "going out" is built up by so many people to be the funnest thing in the world.... but it's really not all that. im not saying it's *not* fun, i enjoy going out occasionally... every couple of weeks or whatever. sometimes more, sometimes less. but it costs a **** of a lot and you have to put up with some god awful music in most clubs.

    there is more to life
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    5th ave is **** anyway, ponana is the place to be on a thursday
    • #3
    #3

    y is going out only one thing? i have a fab time with a few friends and their mates at sm1s house or down the beach. an evenin in is also great! have mates round and talk discover something new about someone else, maybe you'll discover smthing new about you
    Being drunk or drinkin doesnt always equal fun
    xxx
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    y is going out only one thing? i have a fab time with a few friends and their mates at sm1s house or down the beach. an evenin in is also great! have mates round and talk discover something new about someone else, maybe you'll discover smthing new about you
    Being drunk or drinkin doesnt always equal fun
    xxx
    A lot of the time when people talk about "going out" it normally means out of the house, with other people, or to their houses. I know that's how I'd use it anyway.

    OP: I am as pathetic as you.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I think everyone should take note from this thread that whatever university you are at there will be someone who's never quite got the ball rolling with getting a group of friends and if someone looks like they don't have a group of friends invite them out with all your mates, introduce them and make sure everything goes smoothly for them as well as yourselves. Make everyone feel welcome and try and be friends with everyone... even the horrible people like me
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I need to get this off my chest..

    I really need uni. Tonight everyone is celebrating. As i didnt know how to make friends after highschool i didnt make the right connections in college. Like i had made friends with individual people rather than a group. So today my friend asked me to come out but i made the excuse (lied) that i was working tonight. (because i dont really know/like her other friends) Then another friend (a slightly more distant one) pressumed i was going to 5th av tonight. Again i lied. I cant afford it but i could have sacrificed some holiday spending money.

    Then my best friend, who has her own friends and goes to a diff college rang me up, i missed the call so she left a message saying that she hopes im having fun celebrating! and that shes a tad drunk and setting off to go out. You can guess how this made me feel, sad basically. its like theres something inside me that justifies the avoidence of going out (no money etc) But because i only made friends with individual people who didnt know each other, i didnt go out as often. To be honest atall. I have become comfortable with doing nothing. is it laziness? im not sure.

    At uni i'll make sure i make friends with as many people as possible before the cliques happen because this was my mistake in highschool. Ive just applied for accommodation and i think now this was the right choice as i dont want another 3 years without any normal teenage experience atall (drunken nights, boyfriends etc).

    I am a fun person and can be confident so i dont know what it is? scared of being judged??

    This isnt driving me too crazy because uni is soon. Hearing about peoples college experiences and nights out (from my sort of friends, and also my best friend) just make me feel pathetic. In the beginning i was jst so extatic that people were waving to me when i passed them in corridors that i was blinded to how good it could be and left it too late..

    i had 1 or 2 close friends in highschool, 1 i used to go out with regularly but then it kind of stopped. I was friends with like 20 people but again the short conversation and waving..not known enough to be invited to parties. or having a real laugh. I was respected. If i hadnt had this argument in year 7 with a girl i was best friends with it wouldnt be like this because i would have made many more closer friendships as she became part of a group, i naturally would have.


    sorry this maybe totally irrelevant as im not really asking for advice. I just wanted to get it all out y'know. I bet no ones this pathetic right?


    please no nastiness

    SO you're going to make friends with a group as opposed to individuals?
    Is this so you have more people to lie to?
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Pathetic to me is a middle aged man, eating beans out the can and sitting in his pants watching Jeremy Kyle.

    You're young, you're off to uni. Whole life ahead and all that. Now stop moaning and go enjoy it!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by El Scotto)

    SO you're going to make friends with a group as opposed to individuals?
    Is this so you have more people to lie to?
    NO i need to make friends with individuals BUT try and become involved with their friends ('group') straightaway, rather than stay friends with just that one individual until it comes to the point where it is harder to make friends with their group..and i get sort of scared if they dont accept me.

    I am obviously not going to lie if i cease to avoid social situations. When everyone doesnt know each other in uni and so everyone is in the same situation.
 
 
 
Poll
Brexit: Given the chance now, would you vote leave or remain?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.