Kissed a girl whilst I have a girl friend but it's more :/

Right I have been with my girl friend for 2 and a half years, we are both 18,the other night I kissed a girl whilst drunk but the next day we both agreed we didn't have any regrets and we kind of like each other she has a boyfriend too and neither of us know what to do please can you help

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Reply 1

mallinder

I f***ing hate people like you. Its obvious what you need to do, both dump your respective partners and get together. Then wait for one of you to cheat like the little cretins you both are.

Reply 2

carrotstar

Original post by Anonymous

I think you need to work out who is more important to you - your girlfriend, or this other girl. If you are loyal to your girlfriend then you will stop seeing the other girl. If you are not, then you will break up with your girlfriend. It doesn't matter how long you've been going out with her.

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Reply 3

Zarek

Original post by mallinder

I f***ing hate people like you. Its obvious what you need to do, both dump your respective partners and get together. Then wait for one of you to cheat like the little cretins you both are.

Ease up. We're talking teenage dating angst. Not adultery and leaving your off spring to go hungry..

Reply 4

LightBlueSoldier

Original post by Anonymous

How have you stayed in a relationship that long at that age?

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Reply 5

The pencil one

Yo man just dump that hoe and stick with your gf. 2 years is effort and time invested don't waste it

Original post by mallinder

I f***ing hate people like you. Its obvious what you need to do, both dump your respective partners and get together. Then wait for one of you to cheat like the little cretins you both are.

Haha calm down wow.....it's not like he had sex with her...

Reply 6

Musie Suzie

You "kind of like each other." Is that worth throwing your current relationship away for?

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Reply 7

Mankytoes

Original post by mallinder

I f***ing hate people like you. Its obvious what you need to do, both dump your respective partners and get together. Then wait for one of you to cheat like the little cretins you both are.

One of TSR's favourite myths; anyone who has ever cheated in a relationship will always cheat in every future relationship...

Original post by Musie Suzie

You "kind of like each other." Is that worth throwing your current relationship away for?

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If he's kissing other girls and not regretting it, it's pretty clear the current relationship is failed. There's no reason to stay with someone just for continuity's sake.

Reply 8

eggfriedrice

Original post by Mankytoes

One of TSR's favourite myths; anyone who has ever cheated in a relationship will always cheat in every future relationship...

It's not really a "TSR myth"; someone who has cheated is likely to cheat again. They did it a first time, what's stopping them doing it again? People aren't saying once a cheater, always a cheater (as you have put it), but the likelihood is greater. Don't ask me to provide some kind of statical data because it's pretty much common sense.

Reply 9

Mankytoes

Original post by eggfriedrice

- Matureing- more senstive to people's feelings
- The latter relationship being better than the previous one
- They've learnt their lesson

Lots of reasons, really. People like to put things in black and white terms- "there are cheaters, and then there are good people, like me". But of course it's more complicated. Some people may cheat in a relationship where they don't have a great connection, but they'd never cheat on someone they really loved. Or maybe they'd cheat on a girlfriend/boyfriend, but not a spouse.

I've got friends who've cheated, I don't condone it, but I know they wouldn't cheat in a good relationship (and they haven't).
I do agree that someone who has cheated in the past is more likely to cheat in the future, but if you read the post I was replying to, they spoke like it was inevitable, and you see this a lot, a common one is "don't ever have a man leave his girlfriend for you, he'll only do the same again and leave you when another girl comes along". Well maybe, that's possible, but maybe he loves the second girl, and not the first, he was thinking of ending it with her anyway.

Reply 10

mallinder

Original post by Mankytoes

The OP cheated on his girlfriend of two and a half years. Sure people do make mistakes however he then goes on to say how he doesn't regret it. I take your point, granted people do change but I don't think you can ever condone cheating of any form (not saying you were BTW) As you said yourself people dont cheat in a good relationship therefore I think its sensible to tell the OP to leave his girlfriend as in the long run it would be better for all involved.

Reply 11

Vero_

No one likes a cheater, but I know exactly the situation you're in right now.

I was with my ex for 2 years. Things were falling apart for the last 6 months, I went to uni (the same one as him), I got ridiculously drunk one night and kissed someone else. Through my jagerbomb induced blur an alarm bell went off, I pulled away and somehow ended up back in my halls devastated at what I'd done, guilty as sin itself, but the feeling underneath it all was that I didn't actually regret doing it. I assume that's sort of the same thing that's happened to you.

I don't feel good about what I did. Every time I think of it I have a surge of sadness and guilt and right now is no exception. There's a difference between guilt and regret though- I felt guilty because I didn't want to hurt my boyfriend, but the part about not regretting it came from realising that as much as we wanted to hang onto it our relationship had evolved into something neither of us recognised, and essentially we were still together because it had been so long that we couldn't imagine life without each other. I finished the relationship, confessed what I'd done, and he was wrecked. It ripped me to shreds seeing him like that and I hated myself for a long time. I met up with him yesterday. He's fine, new girlfriend, life sorted out. So that put my mind at rest. Anyway, I digress.

I don't know how many parallels you can draw between my experience and your own, but you need to think really carefully about your next move. There's a few questions I asked myself that may help you.
Are things reaching their natural end with your girlfriend, or are you just looking around and thinking that everything else seems much more fun than what you're used to? Is there anything deeper with this other girl or was it more of a matter of convenience? If you dump your girlfriend and go for this other girl only to find that she doesn't want to break up with her boyfriend, what will you do then? Are you actually ready to jump from one long term relationship straight into another with someone you don't know that well?
Work out how you feel, then work out what you want and talk to this other girl about how she feels and what she wants too. If you do break up with your girlfriend, you need to be honest with her but remember that this is your fault, not hers. I don't want to assume that you're the kind of guy who would subtly blame their partner for their cheating, but if you do get tempted- don't.

Reply 12

username1078181

Break up with your girlfriend, I think she deserves better, to be honest.

Reply 13

SiobhanDee

err ain't yo ass meant to be revising or something? what time do you have at the moment to be pissed?

Reply 14

joker12345

Original post by Musie Suzie

You "kind of like each other." Is that worth throwing your current relationship away for?

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He has sort of already thrown it away by cheating (and not regretting it!)

Reply 15

joker12345

Break up with your girlfriend then talk to the girl.

Reply 16

Old_Simon

Original post by mallinder

I f***ing hate people like you. Its obvious what you need to do, both dump your respective partners and get together. Then wait for one of you to cheat like the little cretins you both are.