The Student Room Group

Dealing with Paranoia

Im paranoid...and I can't help it!

It bugs me...everything I do I suspect people are out to get me, I always think people have hidden agendas and there are deeper reasons behind things.

It means im over-analytical...and make too much of situations.

Its getting inbetween me and my girlfriend now...she does the slightest little thing, and i'll take it personally. Say for example, we're holding hands in town, and she'll take her hand away to like, scratch or something, then she doesn't put it back in my hand, i'll think thats because she doesn't want to be holding hands with me. Then it will get to me, i'll ask her about it and she'll say she didn't notice doing it. And I want to believe her, I really do, but deep down something says that there is something beneath it.

I trust her with all my heart, I know she'd never do anything behind my back or anything, and I trust her when she says she loves me but I find myself being really paranoid about little things.

Anyone else like this...got any advice for dealing with it? Its bugging my girlfriend now and its bugging me too...I need to change it!
paranoia is really hard to deal with. I'm oversensitive to things sometimes. I find that sometimes the kind of total relaxation yoga/meditation thing helps to just let me relax, because if I manage to relax then I'm not so worried or paranoid. I don't know if it would work for you.
i guess by that I mean, when you start finding yourself thinking in a paranoid way just concentrate really hard on what is around you, or a peaceful scene or something and try to relax your stomach by breathing calmly... and then you might realise there isn't anything to worry about...
i understand where your coming from ... i always notice little things and i dont like it........ like what you said about the holding hands... i always think of something big like that when its not like dat. Aswell as other stuff... l !! Maybe its jus something that we will eventually get over.
Reply 4
I need to get over it now though, I find myself being sooo touchy with my girlfriend about it - its not fair on her and im sure i'd be happier if I wasn't doing it.

It seems to her like im picking fault with things she does...but she swears blindly she doesn't even think twice about most things like that...then I come across as being like, the bad guy.

I can stand back and look at what im doing, and I can think in my head 'What are you getting worked up about' but I find it soo hard to stop thinking about it.
are you only paranoid about her or is that just what is makng it a real problem?
Reply 6
Im paranoid in a lot of situations, but it doesn't cause a problem usually. Its around my girlfriend that it does cause a problem, and I don't want it to!
The example you gave doesnt sound like paranoia, its just insecuirty.
Reply 8
I think its a bit of both. Im not very confident in myself, I don't see what my girlfriend see's in me (I honestly mean that - god knows why she's with me). I need to get over it...but its hard...=(
What other things do you get paranoid about? axe murderers? gonvernment plots? friends? is there sny pattern to it?
Anonymous
I think its a bit of both. Im not very confident in myself, I don't see what my girlfriend see's in me (I honestly mean that - god knows why she's with me). I need to get over it...but its hard...=(

I get that. but normally only when I'm suicidal or depressed - are you happy?
Reply 11
Yeah im generally pretty happy in myself...

The problem with my girlfriend is there is alot of pressure in our relationship. We live 1hour 30mins away from each other...which means we only see each other at weekends. Im sad most of teh time shes not about, but when im with her and things are good im as happy as can be. This all brings me down abit. When I move to uni in september im gonna be about 20 mins away from her so we'll be seeing each other much more often...which will make it easier. So yeah...im fairly happy...but i'll be happier when im at uni...I hope :P
I'm the opposite, my boyfriends going to a different uni - which is 2hrs away by train, so I'll barely see him He lives 20 in walk away at the moment...

it's probably not the pressure that makes you paranoid though is it? or could t be?
Reply 13
I don't know...the pressure makes things harder. It really does. Im pretty much in tatters everytime I have to go home, this hasn't got any better in the 4 months or so we've been together (known each other much longer than that though). But knowings shes just down the road (well the motorway...but not far) will make it easier on me at the moment.

But I dont think that will stop me getting paranoid about little things...I just wish I could stop!
Reply 14
do you thinkk she's likely to leave you - not rationally, I mean do you feel worried about it seriously... is it only small things... looks like I've failed to be anonymous, opps. hello :hello: I'm me :smile: I don't know, maybe it's just because your really tense when you see her, because you don't get to see her often. One of my friends has been going out with a guy 4 years, and only sees him 2 or 3 times a year, she gets so so sad when she leaves him. doesn't want it to end so quickly.
Reply 15
No....I dont think she'll leave me...I don't worry about that. Im confident that shes happy with me...even though she admits it gets to her when I do stuff like this.

I guess i'll have to see if things get better when im at uni...we've got it all planned, my train routes...we've even practised her driving to where im hopefully gonna be...it will be so much better...I can't wait :smile:
Reply 16
I guess i'll have to see if things get better when im at uni...we've got it all planned, my train routes...we've even practised her driving to where im hopefully gonna be...it will be so much better...I can't wait


I'm happy for you :smile: all I can say, is just try really hard to really relax around her and try to reassure yourself everything is fine when your with her, I wish I could do more... if I think of anything I'll post it.

Best wishes;console;
Reply 17
hmm...
http://www.hoptechno.com/paranoia.htm
there's this on the medical condition, but I don't know if it will help
better go anyway. Good luck
Reply 18
Thanks for all your help :smile: