I hate my life, and i hate my self!
Every bleeping day, I revise, day and night, for 4 months, I try so hard, and I can't go to sleep without going over my notes. And today was my biology exam, and I panicked and I started crying could I couldn't answer the q's, cause I worked so hard, so hard just to get a good grade, and now I missed my chance, and this happened for the next (last) three exam. It's not fair, I tried so hard and I got nothing at the end! I wish I was dead, because I'm a failure and I deserve to die and rot in my grave!
no you're not.
we all die eventually so there are 2 ways of looking at this:
be depressed because you did badly
show the world that exam boards are full of BS and exams are **** (insert very offensive expletive comments here, continue on rant about ineffectiveness of exams as a test for knowledge and skills).
i'd pick the second one, because at the end of the road is money and fun
trust me you will be fine exams aren't life.
we all die eventually so there are 2 ways of looking at this:
be depressed because you did badly
show the world that exam boards are full of BS and exams are **** (insert very offensive expletive comments here, continue on rant about ineffectiveness of exams as a test for knowledge and skills).
i'd pick the second one, because at the end of the road is money and fun
trust me you will be fine
exams aren't life.I felt like I was the one who writ that piece of paragraph... I'm kind of the same boat as you and I'd like to point out that I work pretty well and I try to push myself more than most of the people in my class (especially physics) but I feel so dumb next to them. I was felt like for half of my exams I did bad (Ds) and other half I did pretty okay (B, Cs).
I've been working so hard and yet I still am more on a D level, whilst others just do so well...
I also have stress and anxiety problems...
I've had such a huge stress and anxiety problem, I cant stop crying, my hairs falling out, I get something like IBS: stomach cramps and my stomach makes noises (esp in exams which is embarrassing..) and couple of other medical problems.
This year in exams, I've ran out of time, couldn't focus on some questions that I could actually do because of these anxiety issues, such as my stomach problems distract me (and I'm begging for my stomach not to make noise), my heart starts beating too fast, my hand shakes throughout (never experienced this before).
For a couple of my exams I've had a breakdown a day before my exams.
These are all happening because I'm petrified of failure, and no matter what I do I cant stop. I also feel like a failure, and the worse part is that everyone in my family is so supportive because ive been working so hard (for the first time in my life), and I am scared of letting them down, especially my mother, and I don't think I deserve a mother like her.
I am going to be devastated when I haven't gotten into uni, and it was my main goal in life.
I also feel like a failure and we're probably not the only ones, and I know exactly how horrible it is. Sometimes the hate for myself grows to a point where I don't want to live anymore, but then I think of my family and I know if I did anything like that I'd tear their lives apart. You're not alone and in a better position than most of us (praise yourself you're healthy, hard working, probably smart, not dependant...) so don't feel bad about yourself.
I've been working so hard and yet I still am more on a D level, whilst others just do so well...
I also have stress and anxiety problems...
I've had such a huge stress and anxiety problem, I cant stop crying, my hairs falling out, I get something like IBS: stomach cramps and my stomach makes noises (esp in exams which is embarrassing..) and couple of other medical problems.
This year in exams, I've ran out of time, couldn't focus on some questions that I could actually do because of these anxiety issues, such as my stomach problems distract me (and I'm begging for my stomach not to make noise), my heart starts beating too fast, my hand shakes throughout (never experienced this before).
For a couple of my exams I've had a breakdown a day before my exams.
These are all happening because I'm petrified of failure, and no matter what I do I cant stop. I also feel like a failure, and the worse part is that everyone in my family is so supportive because ive been working so hard (for the first time in my life), and I am scared of letting them down, especially my mother, and I don't think I deserve a mother like her.
I am going to be devastated when I haven't gotten into uni, and it was my main goal in life.
I also feel like a failure and we're probably not the only ones, and I know exactly how horrible it is. Sometimes the hate for myself grows to a point where I don't want to live anymore, but then I think of my family and I know if I did anything like that I'd tear their lives apart. You're not alone and in a better position than most of us (praise yourself you're healthy, hard working, probably smart, not dependant...) so don't feel bad about yourself.
Well.. people have to be differentiated someway or another or there would be too much competition for top universities. It sucks but that's the way life works. You've just gotten the wrong end of the stick, it happens.
Original post by zimzim40
You sure were not twins, cause what you just described is so much like me!
haha maybe we were separated at birth
Original post by Abdul-Karim
Well.. people have to be differentiated someway or another or there would be too much competition for top universities. It sucks but that's the way life works. You've just gotten the wrong end of the stick, it happens.
Yeah, but it's so not fair, all my cousin, and friends get better than me and I put twice the amount of effort in, for the half the amount of reward!
After managing to get A*'s and A's at GCSE I left my school with all my friends and went to a college an hour away where I knew nobody so I could get A's and do Medicine at University. During AS I worked in every single ****ing free and every ****ing night for a year. Lost touch with a lot of my friends and lost touch with everyone around me because I was always doing homework.
At the end of that dreadful year I got CCDE in my results... and of course all my friends from my old school got A's and B's which made me feel so much worse.
The next year I came back for A2, put more effort into making friends, dyed my hair blonde, curled it, basically I made time for all the little things that I think are important and didn't care about before. Now I have a much better relationship with my friends and family, I'm not as quiet and I'm happy. This year I'm still struggling to try and get C's so I can get into University, which is stressful but I've learnt that there is so, so much more to life than exams. I'm glad too that I didn't get the grades because that is not the life that I want anymore.
Good luck with the rest of your exams, I hope my personal experience helps.
At the end of that dreadful year I got CCDE in my results... and of course all my friends from my old school got A's and B's which made me feel so much worse.
The next year I came back for A2, put more effort into making friends, dyed my hair blonde, curled it, basically I made time for all the little things that I think are important and didn't care about before. Now I have a much better relationship with my friends and family, I'm not as quiet and I'm happy. This year I'm still struggling to try and get C's so I can get into University, which is stressful but I've learnt that there is so, so much more to life than exams. I'm glad too that I didn't get the grades because that is not the life that I want anymore.
Good luck with the rest of your exams, I hope my personal experience helps.
(edited 9 years ago)
Exams and schoolwork are just a part of your life, don't let exam stress blind you into thinking schoolwork is everything! You've got so much more to your life than just exams like friends, family, sports etc don't forget that!
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Original post by zimzim40
Every bleeping day, I revise, day and night, for 4 months, I try so hard, and I can't go to sleep without going over my notes. And today was my biology exam, and I panicked and I started crying could I couldn't answer the q's, cause I worked so hard, so hard just to get a good grade, and now I missed my chance, and this happened for the next (last) three exam. It's not fair, I tried so hard and I got nothing at the end! I wish I was dead, because I'm a failure and I deserve to die and rot in my grave!
Don't feel like that! That's happened to me during my second RE Exam. I had achieved an A* in the first module and when it came to doing the second module, I panicked and cried and I didn't finish the exam, which meant that I only achieved an A overall, which was a serious disappointment. But don't worry as long as you stop stressing and you know you've tried your best everything will fall into place.
I'm sorry it didn't go well for you, after my exam I was irreconcilable for months, I only got over it last month. AND I DID THE EXAM OVER A YEAR AGO. Just make sure you smash all your other exams and I promise you it will be worth it.
Original post by zimzim40
Every bleeping day, I revise, day and night, for 4 months, I try so hard, and I can't go to sleep without going over my notes. And today was my biology exam, and I panicked and I started crying could I couldn't answer the q's, cause I worked so hard, so hard just to get a good grade, and now I missed my chance, and this happened for the next (last) three exam. It's not fair, I tried so hard and I got nothing at the end! I wish I was dead, because I'm a failure and I deserve to die and rot in my grave!
don't worry! (you aren't the only one.) i cried in my french as oral and of course i failed - don't worry and just try to keep calm and telling yourself you CAN do this! im pretty sure you can retake this particular exam and keep calm!
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I know exams are really stressful and you feel a lot of pressure to do well - but I would advise giving yourself a few more breaks rather than revising solid. I usually have the evening before an exam completely off from any kind of work, watch some rubbish on TV and have dinner with the family. Working hard before going to bed makes it too hard to get to sleep. It's great that you started revising so early - and all the work you have done so far means that you can afford to give yourself at break. Seriously, take a whole day off if you need to
Regarding any medical or stress-related problems - have you talked to someone in charge of exam support? You may be able to get some help, for example being given a private room to do the exam in away from the distractions of everyone else, having short 5 minute breaks every half an hour or so, or something. It may be a bit last minute to sort out now - but I was able to bring food into my exams (I suffered from fainting attacks thought to be due to low sugar levels) having just told the school the day before. If you talk to your school about any issues they may be able to submit a letter with your exam script saying that you weren't performing at your best, and they may be more lenient with the marking.
It sounds like you are feeling very low and not very confident in yourself - perhaps you could talk to a nurse or councilor about any stresses in your life? If you are worried so much about your exams that you are not able to see your friends as much perhaps set aside time to socialise - e.g. spend every lunch time eating lunch with them rather than rushing off to the library, go to sports practice after school once a week, hang out at the park one afternoon a week, have a movie night, or whatever else you like to do with friends.
Regarding any medical or stress-related problems - have you talked to someone in charge of exam support? You may be able to get some help, for example being given a private room to do the exam in away from the distractions of everyone else, having short 5 minute breaks every half an hour or so, or something. It may be a bit last minute to sort out now - but I was able to bring food into my exams (I suffered from fainting attacks thought to be due to low sugar levels) having just told the school the day before. If you talk to your school about any issues they may be able to submit a letter with your exam script saying that you weren't performing at your best, and they may be more lenient with the marking.
It sounds like you are feeling very low and not very confident in yourself - perhaps you could talk to a nurse or councilor about any stresses in your life? If you are worried so much about your exams that you are not able to see your friends as much perhaps set aside time to socialise - e.g. spend every lunch time eating lunch with them rather than rushing off to the library, go to sports practice after school once a week, hang out at the park one afternoon a week, have a movie night, or whatever else you like to do with friends.
Yeah, Thanks guys for all your good advice, my exams have finished now. But, like some of you are saying explicitly that University isn't everyone's thing, but at the end of the day, I want to go in to Dentistry so badly, so I kinda have to!!!!!!
But what's most annoying is that In my science exams I was predicted A*A*A, and I wan't able to do there exams!
But what's most annoying is that In my science exams I was predicted A*A*A, and I wan't able to do there exams!
This is what happened to me for my first exam, it was an easy paper yet I just ****ed up so bad and I had no idea why, I worked so hard and it all accounted to nothing and for the next day I was a complete wreck. But then I had a mentality change and made sure that I would never feel like that again, I started working my ass off even more and it paid off, all other exams went perfectly. Even though all your exams are done, there's still the possibility of resits and a gap year and who knows what will happen.
Original post by zimzim40
Every bleeping day, I revise, day and night, for 4 months, I try so hard, and I can't go to sleep without going over my notes. And today was my biology exam, and I panicked and I started crying could I couldn't answer the q's, cause I worked so hard, so hard just to get a good grade, and now I missed my chance, and this happened for the next (last) three exam. It's not fair, I tried so hard and I got nothing at the end! I wish I was dead, because I'm a failure and I deserve to die and rot in my grave!
You are NOT a failure, you are being way too hard on yourself. You certainly don't deserve to die, and if you're having feelings like that, maybe you should see your GP or talk to someone about it. It could explain why you ended up crying, you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. You don't wish you were dead, you just want things to be different and they can and will change in the future. Remember, when one door closes, another one opens. I hope that helped OP.
You calling yourself a failure is the problem here, you've just got to walk into that exam knowing that you've worked hard and you know it, don't be negative just keep thinking that there's nothing they can ask that isn't on your syllabus. You're not a failure, you're under that crushing exam pressure that we all experience, just remember that it'll be worth it.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
aww no don't worry it's okay
you worked hard, you have nothing to have regret about
you panicked, it's okay, now time to build on yourself and move on
you worked hard, you have nothing to have regret about
you panicked, it's okay, now time to build on yourself and move on
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