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Is it sexist if a man strongly wants a first born son?

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Original post by ROONEY-9-MUTD


I will have more things in common with an individual who is similar to me, could be down to race, gender or class.
Therefore the chances of me finding more things in common with a male is substantial greater. A boy will be physically stronger than a female, so he will be able to take part in strenuous physical activities that men enjoy. Also tomboys are rare, so the chances of me sharing similar hobbies/interest with a girl are slim.
I will be able to relate better with a boy, he will go through things that I went through as a child. For example, challenges in dealing with annoying women like yourself, puberty etc.


But this assumption actually makes what you believe come true. You assume a boy will be more similar, so you involve him in your interests more, you talk to him as if he is like you. If you treat a girl differently, it is no surprise they grow up differently to boys.

Boys are not physically stronger than girls as children. An girl a year or so older than her brother will be stronger but I'm betting that if you have a girl first you won't play sport with her to the same extent as you would with a boy.
Original post by Blue_Mason
I'd never want a daughter tbh

Why?

Original post by ArtGoblin
I don't know why I'm bothering to say this as you're only going to write it off as feminist bull****, but just because your son shares your gender doesn't mean he's going to share your interests. For all you know it could be your daughter who you have most in common with. Don't you think it's ****ed up to be attributing characteristics to people who aren't even born yet based on your preconceived ideas of the sexes?


Took you seriously until you said ****ed up....

Look feminist, it's not ****ed up, it's common to share the same interests of the same gender. That's why at primary school boys stick with boys and girls with girls.
It's not like he said he was gonna force him to play football..
Original post by The pencil one


Took you seriously until you said ****ed up....

Look feminist, it's not ****ed up, it's common to share the same interests of the same gender. That's why at primary school boys stick with boys and girls with girls.
It's not like he said he was gonna force him to play football..


It's ****ed up to assume what a person is like before they're even in existence and as a result impose your views on what they should be like. Boys stick with boys and girls with girls in first school because we divide them into two tribes from the day they were born.
As long as it's only before birth - meaning that if it's a girl, you are not disappointed/won't ever hold it against her, it's fine.
Original post by ArtGoblin
It's ****ed up to assume what a person is like before they're even in existence and as a result impose your views on what they should be like. Boys stick with boys and girls with girls in first school because we divide them into two tribes from the day they were born.


Listen darling.

It's not ****ed up it's preconceived ideass. It's like saying I think England will win the World Cup (bad example)
Original post by ArtGoblin
But this assumption actually makes what you believe come true. You assume a boy will be more similar, so you involve him in your interests more, you talk to him as if he is like you. If you treat a girl differently, it is no surprise they grow up differently to boys.

Boys are not physically stronger than girls as children. An girl a year or so older than her brother will be stronger but I'm betting that if you have a girl first you won't play sport with her to the same extent as you would with a boy.



My assumption is backed by empirical data. Boys/men will have more things in common with other boys/men. Neutral parenting does not work, and is in fact a cruel way of bringing up your kids.

Boys are stronger than girls, there is no point arguing. Even if I had a daughter first, my son will surpass his sister when it comes to strength, Having a son first will enable me to take part in strenuous activities with him whilst I'm closer to my peak [physically].
Original post by The pencil one
Listen darling.

It's not ****ed up it's preconceived ideass. It's like saying I think England will win the World Cup (bad example)


Preconceived ideas that affect how a child is treated during their most important period of development. You saying England will win the World Cup has absolutely no impact on the result. Raising a child to believe that they are fundamentally different from the other sex impacts the traits and interests they develop as adults.
I would only think it sexist if they thought a daughter would be worth less than a son. Like, if he abandoned the mother if it was a girl or neglected her. Or, if they got a boy and a girl, he favoured the boy just because he was male. But no, most potential parents would prefer a certain gender - I'd like a girl (like at some point far, far off in the future :tongue:) and I know my mum really wanted a boy when she was having her first. If the man would accept and love a daughter just as much as a son, after she was born, it's not sexism.
Original post by ArtGoblin
It's ****ed up to assume what a person is like before they're even in existence and as a result impose your views on what they should be like. Boys stick with boys and girls with girls in first school because we divide them into two tribes from the day they were born.


So you acknowledge external entities that have the power to alter the taste of boys and girls.

So why argue against my assumption, that boys will be different to girls in terms of their hobbies/interest. What will you do to counter this 'problem', raise your children in the wilderness?
Original post by ROONEY-9-MUTD
My assumption is backed by empirical data. Boys/men will have more things in common with other boys/men. Neutral parenting does not work, and is in fact a cruel way of bringing up your kids.

Boys are stronger than girls, there is no point arguing. Even if I had a daughter first, my son will surpass his sister when it comes to strength, Having a son first will enable me to take part in strenuous activities with him whilst I'm closer to my peak [physically].


Boys have more in common with other boys because parents raise them that way to a large extent. How is gender neutral parenting cruel? I certainly aim to raise my children that way. I don't want them to be limited by what society tells them they should be. If they happen to conform to their gender stereotypes then that's cool. But it's also fine if they don't want to.

Boys eventually surpass girls when it comes to strength but as young children they are equal in strength. I have a brother who is 18 months younger and I could beat him in fights until he hit puberty. Unless you're like 50 when you have your first kid, I'm sure you could keep up with whatever 'strenuous activity' a nine year old child could manage.
Original post by ArtGoblin
Preconceived ideas that affect how a child is treated during their most important period of development. You saying England will win the World Cup has absolutely no impact on the result. Raising a child to believe that they are fundamentally different from the other sex impacts the traits and interests they develop as adults.





Boys and girls are fundamentally different. Look at your bags of sand / the flesh like rod swinging in-between my legs. We have different organs/ levels of hormones. These characteristics will have a direct impact on the hobbies/interest we will adopt later on in life.
Original post by ROONEY-9-MUTD


Boys and girls are fundamentally different. Look at your bags of sand / the flesh like rod swinging in-between my legs. We have different organs/ levels of hormones. These characteristics will have a direct impact on the hobbies/interest we will adopt later on in life.


No thank you.
Original post by ArtGoblin
Boys have more in common with other boys because parents raise them that way to a large extent. How is gender neutral parenting cruel? I certainly aim to raise my children that way. I don't want them to be limited by what society tells them they should be. If they happen to conform to their gender stereotypes then that's cool. But it's also fine if they don't want to.

Boys eventually surpass girls when it comes to strength but as young children they are equal in strength. I have a brother who is 18 months younger and I could beat him in fights until he hit puberty. Unless you're like 50 when you have your first kid, I'm sure you could keep up with whatever 'strenuous activity' a nine year old child could manage.


Now your making the assumption. If I were to have a son first, I will be closer to my peak when he reaches his. Also read up on John/Joan Case on the topic of gender neutral parenting, his cases shows that boys and girls are FUNDAMENTALlY DIFFERENT.





I wish your sons in the future GOOD LUCK, they will deffo need.
Original post by ROONEY-9-MUTD
So you acknowledge external entities that have the power to alter the taste of boys and girls.

So why argue against my assumption, that boys will be different to girls in terms of their hobbies/interest. What will you do to counter this 'problem', raise your children in the wilderness?


Just because the rest of society wants to split them into two opposing groups doesn't mean you have to go along with it. I intend to teach them that it's OK like things that aren't supposed to be for their gender; that being a girl doesn't mean they can't do everything a boy can do; that being a boy doesn't mean they can't cry or express their feelings.
Reply 54
Avatar for Kaneda
Kaneda
9
Wow these moral threads really piss me off.


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Original post by ROONEY-9-MUTD
Now your making the assumption. If I were to have a son first, I will be closer to my peak when he reaches his. Also read up on John/Joan Case on the topic of gender neutral parenting, his cases shows that boys and girls are FUNDAMENTALlY DIFFERENT.





I wish your sons in the future GOOD LUCK, they will deffo need.


It's interesting how you wish my hypothetical sons good luck but not my daughters. It's fine for a girl to be brought up playing with 'boys' toys' and doing 'boys' activities' but when it's boys doing 'girls' stuff' it's somehow horrific?
Original post by ArtGoblin
It's interesting how you wish my hypothetical sons good luck but not my daughters. It's fine for a girl to be brought up playing with 'boys' toys' and doing 'boys' activities' but when it's boys doing 'girls' stuff' it's somehow horrific?


Your point is?

You're going off on a tangent now. My original statement ''I want a son first, because I will have more things in common with him''.
Original post by The pencil one
Why?


I am in fact actually scared in what she would have to go through and how society would treat her
I just simply fear the worse
Reply 58
Avatar for Stakesby
Stakesby
Ah this thread is just too good
*eats another piece of popcorn*


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Original post by Blue_Mason
I am in fact actually scared in what she would have to go through and how society would treat her
I just simply fear the worse


Haha fair enough.

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