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My younger brother is fat. My parents don't do anything.

My brother is 5 years younger than me and significantly overweight. He is under 18 and so I feel it is my responsibility to kick him into shape. I bought him an MP3 player and basic running attire (the best I could do as I'm kinda broke). He runs three times a week and I've set up a programme for him to run a bit further every time. My parents support his running and have been positive. All is well but his diet. My parents are highly educated people and so you'd expect them to be as forceful as I am in his weight loss plan. But no. Today, he bought ice cream and ate it twice. A few days ago I warned him to NOT snack. He bought ice cream then too and I made a point of talking to him about how important diet is in weight loss. His problem is not the food that he eats, it's the snacking. We eat practically the same meals except ice cream, cake, crisps. All of that ****. After our talk, he seemed to understand.

So, when he bought ice cream again, I was seething. I had to go to my room to avoid shouting at him. I calmed down but what I saw later really got to me. I felt emotional. I saw my younger brother, sat in our garden, eating a serving of ice cream. I told my parents to come and look. They did and my mum started berating me about how addicted I am to exercise, how much of a twig I am *in our language* and how obsessive I'm being etc. *Just because you're starving yourself/ a twig doesn't mean you should bother him* type comments. My Dad told me to "lay off him" which pissed me off further. I'm so lost as to why 2 fit and healthy people who work in healthcare could be so blase over how overweight their son is.

Am I wrong to be encouraging my baby brother in his weight loss? Am I wrong for being angered at him HIDING his snacking from me? The look on his face when he saw me watching him was filled with shame. He completely changed when he later heard my parents defending him and he started to insult me. I don't really know what to do. I feel like I'm in the wrong. I'm the one who runs 10-15k three times a week, tracks her calories and eats plenty of fruit and veg. The odd one out. I feel like complete **** when I have to deal with this issue, on one side and on my own.

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What's the dude's actual BMI? He might not even be fat.
Reply 2
Original post by FrankJaegar
What's the dude's actual BMI? He might not even be fat.


He is obese.
Original post by Anonymous
He is obese.


ok, then you're completely right to be doing what you are doing. It's common for parents to let their kid eat **** and not care about the consequences. If your brother isn't doing what you tell him now, he might just not care himself. Get outside help, someone to tell your parents that what they are doing is borderline abuse.
Original post by Anonymous
My brother is 5 years younger than me and significantly overweight. He is under 18 and so I feel it is my responsibility to kick him into shape. I bought him an MP3 player and basic running attire (the best I could do as I'm kinda broke). He runs three times a week and I've set up a programme for him to run a bit further every time. My parents support his running and have been positive. All is well but his diet. My parents are highly educated people and so you'd expect them to be as forceful as I am in his weight loss plan. But no. Today, he bought ice cream and ate it twice. A few days ago I warned him to NOT snack. He bought ice cream then too and I made a point of talking to him about how important diet is in weight loss. His problem is not the food that he eats, it's the snacking. We eat practically the same meals except ice cream, cake, crisps. All of that ****. After our talk, he seemed to understand.

So, when he bought ice cream again, I was seething. I had to go to my room to avoid shouting at him. I calmed down but what I saw later really got to me. I felt emotional. I saw my younger brother, sat in our garden, eating a serving of ice cream. I told my parents to come and look. They did and my mum started berating me about how addicted I am to exercise, how much of a twig I am *in our language* and how obsessive I'm being etc. *Just because you're starving yourself/ a twig doesn't mean you should bother him* type comments. My Dad told me to "lay off him" which pissed me off further. I'm so lost as to why 2 fit and healthy people who work in healthcare could be so blase over how overweight their son is.

Am I wrong to be encouraging my baby brother in his weight loss? Am I wrong for being angered at him HIDING his snacking from me? The look on his face when he saw me watching him was filled with shame. He completely changed when he later heard my parents defending him and he started to insult me. I don't really know what to do. I feel like I'm in the wrong. I'm the one who runs 10-15k three times a week, tracks her calories and eats plenty of fruit and veg. The odd one out. I feel like complete **** when I have to deal with this issue, on one side and on my own.


Of course you're not in the wrong. Being healthy is extremely important, not only in prolonging and improving the standard of life one is living, but also to improve mental function, which inevitably depends upon the state of the body.

That being said, short of using physical discipline or manipulation, you really can't force someone to do something if they don't want to do it. Exercise and staying fit is one of those things. Without the right mindset, self-discipline and determination, your brother will just fall off the tracks and start being unhealthy again.

Keep calm and just keep talking to them about it, especially your parents. Persevere - you are doing the right thing.

To be honest, I've never understand how educated individuals can allow their child to become overweight/unhealthy. They'd probably pay attention if he started self-harming - becoming overweight is similar in damage to the physique.
Reply 5
Original post by FrankJaegar
ok, then you're completely right to be doing what you are doing. It's common for parents to let their kid eat **** and not care about the consequences. If your brother isn't doing what you tell him now, he might just not care himself. Get outside help, someone to tell your parents that what they are doing is borderline abuse.


I don't think we're all on the same page. My parents push the running thing as hard as I do and often monitor what he's eating. It's just that he's defied the diet plan so early on (for the second time) and nobody else is reacting to the seriousness of it. He's not being punished, or taught somehow that what he's doing is wrong. My brother associates fatty foods as a reward, which is what we have been brought up to associate **** foods with. You become prefect, we order fast food. You get a good report, here's a chocolate bar. That's the way it's always been. It's not at all his fault. My parents are just not on my wavelength in terms of his diet and I'm being made out to be the bad guy which makes his attitude even worse. I want to shut down and just say **** it but I can't. He's my brother.
Original post by Anonymous
My brother is 5 years younger than me and significantly overweight. He is under 18 and so I feel it is my responsibility to kick him into shape. I bought him an MP3 player and basic running attire (the best I could do as I'm kinda broke). He runs three times a week and I've set up a programme for him to run a bit further every time. My parents support his running and have been positive. All is well but his diet. My parents are highly educated people and so you'd expect them to be as forceful as I am in his weight loss plan. But no. Today, he bought ice cream and ate it twice. A few days ago I warned him to NOT snack. He bought ice cream then too and I made a point of talking to him about how important diet is in weight loss. His problem is not the food that he eats, it's the snacking. We eat practically the same meals except ice cream, cake, crisps. All of that ****. After our talk, he seemed to understand.

So, when he bought ice cream again, I was seething. I had to go to my room to avoid shouting at him. I calmed down but what I saw later really got to me. I felt emotional. I saw my younger brother, sat in our garden, eating a serving of ice cream. I told my parents to come and look. They did and my mum started berating me about how addicted I am to exercise, how much of a twig I am *in our language* and how obsessive I'm being etc. *Just because you're starving yourself/ a twig doesn't mean you should bother him* type comments. My Dad told me to "lay off him" which pissed me off further. I'm so lost as to why 2 fit and healthy people who work in healthcare could be so blase over how overweight their son is.

Am I wrong to be encouraging my baby brother in his weight loss? Am I wrong for being angered at him HIDING his snacking from me? The look on his face when he saw me watching him was filled with shame. He completely changed when he later heard my parents defending him and he started to insult me. I don't really know what to do. I feel like I'm in the wrong. I'm the one who runs 10-15k three times a week, tracks her calories and eats plenty of fruit and veg. The odd one out. I feel like complete **** when I have to deal with this issue, on one side and on my own.


Aww, you're really sweet.
Original post by Anonymous


Am I wrong to be encouraging my baby brother in his weight loss?

I'm the one who runs 10-15k three times a week, tracks her calories and eats plenty of fruit and veg. The odd one out. I feel like complete **** when I have to deal with this issue, on one side and on my own.


Well done for actually caring and trying to make a difference. The world needs more people like you in it. :smile:

You're not wrong to be concerned. Also well done for your commitment to staying healthy yourself and looking after yourself despite your family's different lifestyle.

Are your parents obese themselves?

I have my suspicions your brother may be eating unhealthy foods for emotional reasons. It may also be out of boredom.

Also how obese is he, what's his exact bmi
Reply 8
Original post by RHyoudon'kno
Aww, you're really sweet.


I second this :smile:

Hahahah you seem like a really cool bro :biggrin:

PS. I've always a wanted an older brother but then again there's always the possibility of them bullying me :tongue:
Reply 9
I used to be overweight and have a sibling just like you, she meant well but in the end it was ****ing annoying to constantly be droned about it. So I changed, but only because I became healthier in my own time, and now I am healthy on my own accord, rather than constant peer pressure from my sister. Leave him alone and let him realise when the time is right
Original post by Cherx
I second this :smile:

Hahahah you seem like a really cool bro :biggrin:

PS. I've always a wanted an older brother but then again there's always the possibility of them bullying me :tongue:


I'm his older sister lol. Thank you though, I really appreciate that. I feel like crap atm. My Mum is really against my lifestyle and so encouraging my brother is made more difficult as he's probably confused by this.
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
I'm his older sister lol. Thank you though, I really appreciate that. I feel like crap atm. My Mum is really against my lifestyle and so encouraging my brother is made more difficult as he's probably confused by this.


Ohh, hahaha sorry 'bout that then.

Nah, I've got two older sisters..They're annoying :dry:

I'd make him feel guilty about his appearance and tease him... That is since talking to him level-headed didn't work :dontknow:
Original post by Temporality
Well done for actually caring and trying to make a difference. The world needs more people like you in it. :smile:

You're not wrong to be concerned. Also well done for your commitment to staying healthy yourself and looking after yourself despite your family's different lifestyle.

Are your parents obese themselves?

I have my suspicions your brother may be eating unhealthy foods for emotional reasons. It may also be out of boredom.

Also how obese is he, what's his exact bmi


Thank you, I really appreciate it.

No. My Dad runs too and looks after himself which is why I'm all the more confused by his indifference. My Mum is a healthy weight. I don't know his exact weight but he is visibly obese. There's no debate when you see him. I feel he has issues with junk food and uses it to reward himself. At this point, it may be for emotional reasons. I'm just confused as he is an intelligent boy who knows just how terrible these foods are.
Original post by Cherx
Ohh, hahaha sorry 'bout that then.

Nah, I've got two older sisters..They're annoying :dry:

I'd make him feel guilty about his appearance and tease him... That is since talking to him level-headed didn't work :dontknow:


I don't think emotionally abusing him is the right thing to do at all.
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
I don't think emotionally abusing him is the right thing to do at all.


Ahh, well I'll probably do something along those lines..

Spoiler

Original post by Anonymous
Thank you, I really appreciate it.

No. My Dad runs too and looks after himself which is why I'm all the more confused by his indifference. My Mum is a healthy weight. I don't know his exact weight but he is visibly obese. There's no debate when you see him. I feel he has issues with junk food and uses it to reward himself. At this point, it may be for emotional reasons. I'm just confused as he is an intelligent boy who knows just how terrible these foods are.


For sure, intelligent people often do dumb things like smoke, binge drink and don't take care of themselves. How old is he? I think age is quite relevant because a lot of kids get quite chubby around the age of 8/9/10, I definitely was, but I had shed it all by the time I was 13. They call it puppy fat right.
Also if he is at the age of adolescence or actually even younger he may be having emotional difficulties. Don't want to jump the gun but it's also possible he may be getting bullied especially since he is obese. None of these things are obvs for sure, just trying to throw out suggestions. Its hard to know what to say but I have an over-protective older sibling and when he used to tell me not to binge drink and smoke (stupid I know) I paid no notice until I actually wanted to do it myself. He meant well but it's one of those things where you're at the age of rebellion and unless you want to change yourself, you won't sort of thing.
He may be obese and you attempting to encourage him to become healthier is good, but you can't force him into it, it's his own decision as to how he leads his life. If you constantly nit pick, it gets annoying and can be upsetting and could encourage him to defy you to irritate and frustrate you.
Original post by Temporality
For sure, intelligent people often do dumb things like smoke, binge drink and don't take care of themselves. How old is he? I think age is quite relevant because a lot of kids get quite chubby around the age of 8/9/10, I definitely was, but I had shed it all by the time I was 13. They call it puppy fat right.
Also if he is at the age of adolescence or actually even younger he may be having emotional difficulties. Don't want to jump the gun but it's also possible he may be getting bullied especially since he is obese. None of these things are obvs for sure, just trying to throw out suggestions. Its hard to know what to say but I have an over-protective older sibling and when he used to tell me not to binge drink and smoke (stupid I know) I paid no notice until I actually wanted to do it myself. He meant well but it's one of those things where you're at the age of rebellion and unless you want to change yourself, you won't sort of thing.


He's 15 this year. No, it's not baby fat. He is overweight. Not to the extent of not being able to run or jump though. He's very popular at school. He plays football with other guys. The fat is distributed across his abdomen and on his chest. His face isn't fat at all. So, when he wears his school uniform it's not noticeable. When you take a look at his body, or he wears a fitted top, you see the extent of his weight gain.
Original post by Anonymous
He's 15 this year. No, it's not baby fat. He is overweight. Not to the extent of not being able to run or jump though. He's very popular at school. He plays football with other guys. The fat is distributed across his abdomen and on his chest. His face isn't fat at all. So, when he wears his school uniform it's not noticeable. When you take a look at his body, or he wears a fitted top, you see the extent of his weight gain.


To be honest with you, I think you should leave it for now and see how things can progress. He's more likely to want to make changes when he:
a) does it for himself and not because someone's been bugging him about it, as much as I know your intentions come from a very good place and are admirable.
b) becomes seriously interested in girls and wants to impress them with his hot bod. So in sixth form time he probably will become a gym/health freak like most boys that age.

Try not to worry about it for now although I understand your frustrations. If the problem worsens severely in later years there will be need for intervention but at 15 he is still at a volatile age, going through phases and there will be aspects of his character than continue to grow and change. My older brother used to be severely obese in younger years but now he's a health freak and the trimmest one in the family so you never know what way things are going to go.
Roll that fat s**t down a hill lmao that'll burn some calories. "They see me rollin, they hatin, patrollin' and tryina' catch me eatin' ice-cream"

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