Do you stay in touch after breaking up from a long term relationship?
Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years, it my first ever relationship and his too and were thinking of breaking up due to not having time to see eachother as were both moving opposite ends for university.. its not because we dont love eachother because we still do but we wont see eachother and we think it may be best to walk away and maybe when the circumstances are better to meet up again and see how things are..
But i was wondering whether its right to stay in touch after we break up? he says hed still want to see me and meet up now and then when we can to catch up and maybe go for a day out together.. but id still love him and would still feel the need to kiss him hello/goodbye etc. and feel this may be weird and mess my head up as we wouldnt be together anymore.
We've had problems with seeing eachother just lately and with his work shifts being unpredictable i see him once a week sometimes once every two.. its kind of breaking our relationship apart as i already feel single but i love him with all my heart.
Is it best to cut contact if we broke up? i dont want to stop speaking but i feel it would mess my head up as id still feel like id be in a relationship with him.
Thanks for any advice given!
But i was wondering whether its right to stay in touch after we break up? he says hed still want to see me and meet up now and then when we can to catch up and maybe go for a day out together.. but id still love him and would still feel the need to kiss him hello/goodbye etc. and feel this may be weird and mess my head up as we wouldnt be together anymore.
We've had problems with seeing eachother just lately and with his work shifts being unpredictable i see him once a week sometimes once every two.. its kind of breaking our relationship apart as i already feel single but i love him with all my heart.
Is it best to cut contact if we broke up? i dont want to stop speaking but i feel it would mess my head up as id still feel like id be in a relationship with him.
Thanks for any advice given!
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What exactly is the point in breaking up in the middle? If you want to be together, be together, and work around the difficulties as best you can and accept what you get. I just can't see the point in breaking up "for now".
because we both have commitments and will be 6 hours away from each other.. i dont see the point in staying together if we will only see each other once a month and only speak over text.. i only see him once every two weeks and i feel single already because of hardly seeing him.. i love him with all my heart but seeing someone once a month is not a relationship.
Original post by FireGarden
What exactly is the point in breaking up in the middle? If you want to be together, be together, and work around the difficulties as best you can and accept what you get. I just can't see the point in breaking up "for now".
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years, it my first ever relationship and his too and were thinking of breaking up due to not having time to see eachother as were both moving opposite ends for university.. its not because we dont love eachother because we still do but we wont see eachother and we think it may be best to walk away and maybe when the circumstances are better to meet up again and see how things are..
But i was wondering whether its right to stay in touch after we break up? he says hed still want to see me and meet up now and then when we can to catch up and maybe go for a day out together.. but id still love him and would still feel the need to kiss him hello/goodbye etc. and feel this may be weird and mess my head up as we wouldnt be together anymore.
We've had problems with seeing eachother just lately and with his work shifts being unpredictable i see him once a week sometimes once every two.. its kind of breaking our relationship apart as i already feel single but i love him with all my heart.
Is it best to cut contact if we broke up? i dont want to stop speaking but i feel it would mess my head up as id still feel like id be in a relationship with him.
Thanks for any advice given!
But i was wondering whether its right to stay in touch after we break up? he says hed still want to see me and meet up now and then when we can to catch up and maybe go for a day out together.. but id still love him and would still feel the need to kiss him hello/goodbye etc. and feel this may be weird and mess my head up as we wouldnt be together anymore.
We've had problems with seeing eachother just lately and with his work shifts being unpredictable i see him once a week sometimes once every two.. its kind of breaking our relationship apart as i already feel single but i love him with all my heart.
Is it best to cut contact if we broke up? i dont want to stop speaking but i feel it would mess my head up as id still feel like id be in a relationship with him.
Thanks for any advice given!
I would go for no contact personally. You are both going to be going to university and meeting so many new people. I wouldn't want to know what he is getting up to. I suggest no contact during first term and see how you feel about meeting up during the Christmas holidays. If you think that it will mess your head up then trust your instincts and ask him to respect that. Most couples aren't able to be friends straight after a break up. It takes time.
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Original post by Anonymous
i love him with all my heart but seeing someone once a month is not a relationship.
I'm sure if I loved someone, seeing them once a month would certainly be better than not at all; more strongly, better than not even being in their life anymore!
If you feel single now, then I would imagine that breaking up would be the better thing to do. It will only get worse due to the contact issues. If you continued to speak to him, I would think it would hinder you getting over him, so it would be best not to.
If you want to move on you need to completely remove him and control your emotions and be strong. You can't be friends straight away, it never works, you will still love him. It's hard but it's the only way if you want to get on with life, it's too short to waste time. Do what needs to be done. When the feelings are gone, you can be friends.
Speaking from experience!
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Speaking from experience!
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Original post by jessicainacoma
I would go for no contact personally. You are both going to be going to university and meeting so many new people. I wouldn't want to know what he is getting up to. I suggest no contact during first term and see how you feel about meeting up during the Christmas holidays. If you think that it will mess your head up then trust your instincts and ask him to respect that. Most couples aren't able to be friends straight after a break up. It takes time.
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Yeah that sounds like a good idea.. i just think because i still love him id love to speak and stuff but im not going to lie if he met someone at university i would be very jealous.. im just thinking that if he meets someone maybe being in no contact at all wouldnt make the news that painful as it would if i were to still be in close contact
Original post by MJ-17
If you want to move on you need to completely remove him and control your emotions and be strong. You can't be friends straight away, it never works, you will still love him. It's hard but it's the only way if you want to get on with life, it's too short to waste time. Do what needs to be done. When the feelings are gone, you can be friends.
Speaking from experience!
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Speaking from experience!
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Thanks! its great to hear from someone that has experience as they probably understand better as to what im feeling and talking about. Hes just such a nice lad, not a bad bone in his body and is adement that he would want to stay in contact see how i am everyday, hes really sweet and said "id still text you every morning just to say 'hi and have a nice day' and to see how your feeling.. even if you didnt reply i still would, id miss you"
He thinks im being harsh about not wanting to keep in contact but from what youv said and having experience i think i agree that we should cut contact until the feelings have gone..
I would be fine acting like someone didn't exist if we ended on bad especially volatile terms. Ive never been in an abusive relation but that's only b/c I defend myself and I get out of there. It's just never gonna happen. But if we mutually decide we should part or be friends we can still kick it, veg out or whatever. But he better not catch emotions..
Whaaat! Distance should strengthen a relationship, not break it.
Original post by BeteNoire1990
I would be fine acting like someone didn't exist if we ended on bad especially volatile terms. Ive never been in an abusive relation but that's only b/c I defend myself and I get out of there. It's just never gonna happen. But if we mutually decide we should part or be friends we can still kick it, veg out or whatever. But he better not catch emotions..
Thats the thing, he still thinks it would be ok to meet up have a nice day out and still kind of act normal such as hello/goodbye kiss and stuff.. and i dont know if thats what we need if we have just broken up
Original post by Anonymous
Thats the thing, he still thinks it would be ok to meet up have a nice day out and still kind of act normal such as hello/goodbye kiss and stuff.. and i dont know if thats what we need if we have just broken up
No. What he is doing is bad. Who initiated the idea of breaking up? It sounds like he is keeping you around for when he is at home. Obviously when you both go to university you are going to meet new people, you will be able to live without each other. But when you get home it won't feel the same because you will expect each other to be around. I guarantee that if you start acting like a couple when you break up it will lead to someone getting even more hurt. I suggest cutting all contact, getting used to life without him there. And then when you are at university you won't be thinking about what he is up to or worrying about whether he has met someone knew.
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If me and my partner broke up, on one hand I would want to talk to him because I would miss him but then talking to him would make me miss him and the good times we had even more but then if I didn't talk to him, that would suck too.
If you are both going to break up for good and not get back together but do want to remain in each others life, it is best to take a break after breaking up for a bit, say maybe a few months just so you can both work out how you feel and where you want things to go.
If you are both going to break up for good and not get back together but do want to remain in each others life, it is best to take a break after breaking up for a bit, say maybe a few months just so you can both work out how you feel and where you want things to go.
I've felt better not getting in contact with my ex. It was awkward and hurtful at first but now, I've moved on and I hope they have too. It didn't end well so not keeping in contact was the best option really.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years, it my first ever relationship and his too and were thinking of breaking up due to not having time to see eachother as were both moving opposite ends for university.. its not because we dont love eachother because we still do but we wont see eachother and we think it may be best to walk away and maybe when the circumstances are better to meet up again and see how things are..
But i was wondering whether its right to stay in touch after we break up? he says hed still want to see me and meet up now and then when we can to catch up and maybe go for a day out together.. but id still love him and would still feel the need to kiss him hello/goodbye etc. and feel this may be weird and mess my head up as we wouldnt be together anymore.
We've had problems with seeing eachother just lately and with his work shifts being unpredictable i see him once a week sometimes once every two.. its kind of breaking our relationship apart as i already feel single but i love him with all my heart.
Is it best to cut contact if we broke up? i dont want to stop speaking but i feel it would mess my head up as id still feel like id be in a relationship with him.
Thanks for any advice given!
But i was wondering whether its right to stay in touch after we break up? he says hed still want to see me and meet up now and then when we can to catch up and maybe go for a day out together.. but id still love him and would still feel the need to kiss him hello/goodbye etc. and feel this may be weird and mess my head up as we wouldnt be together anymore.
We've had problems with seeing eachother just lately and with his work shifts being unpredictable i see him once a week sometimes once every two.. its kind of breaking our relationship apart as i already feel single but i love him with all my heart.
Is it best to cut contact if we broke up? i dont want to stop speaking but i feel it would mess my head up as id still feel like id be in a relationship with him.
Thanks for any advice given!
No one should ever feel single whilst in a relationship. I had the same thing with my ex, we texted all the time, but we barely saw eachother and in the last few weeks it just felt like I wasn't in a relationship.
As for your situation, I would recommend no contact. I'll admit that it's awful at first and you want to speak to them/see them, but ultimately, that would just make it harder. For me, no contact meant that I had no idea what he was doing and I didn't see him, meaning there wasn't a time where all my feelings for him came rushing back. You still think about them and it's hard, but it makes it easier in the long run - you can move on without them being involved.
If you guys do decide you don't want to be together, it's going to be hard enough anyway and talking and meeting up at the start will probably just make it even more difficult.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years, it my first ever relationship and his too and were thinking of breaking up due to not having time to see eachother as were both moving opposite ends for university.. its not because we dont love eachother because we still do but we wont see eachother and we think it may be best to walk away and maybe when the circumstances are better to meet up again and see how things are..
But i was wondering whether its right to stay in touch after we break up? he says hed still want to see me and meet up now and then when we can to catch up and maybe go for a day out together.. but id still love him and would still feel the need to kiss him hello/goodbye etc. and feel this may be weird and mess my head up as we wouldnt be together anymore.
We've had problems with seeing eachother just lately and with his work shifts being unpredictable i see him once a week sometimes once every two.. its kind of breaking our relationship apart as i already feel single but i love him with all my heart.
Is it best to cut contact if we broke up? i dont want to stop speaking but i feel it would mess my head up as id still feel like id be in a relationship with him.
Thanks for any advice given!
But i was wondering whether its right to stay in touch after we break up? he says hed still want to see me and meet up now and then when we can to catch up and maybe go for a day out together.. but id still love him and would still feel the need to kiss him hello/goodbye etc. and feel this may be weird and mess my head up as we wouldnt be together anymore.
We've had problems with seeing eachother just lately and with his work shifts being unpredictable i see him once a week sometimes once every two.. its kind of breaking our relationship apart as i already feel single but i love him with all my heart.
Is it best to cut contact if we broke up? i dont want to stop speaking but i feel it would mess my head up as id still feel like id be in a relationship with him.
Thanks for any advice given!
I apologise is this has already been said as I haven't read the rest of the thread. However, you sound like you love him and don't want it to end but just because of the distance/circumstances are going to let it. If you are in love with him and this is the relationship you want (i.e you don't want to be single and 'experiencing' university).
Then you need to stay together, try the long distance relationship, work for it, you are only at uni like 5 months a year anyway with the ridiculous amounts of holiday so if you make the effort to see each other at weekends you have the other 7 months together and its only for 3 years which in the timescale of a whole lifetime together is nothing.
If you or he, really don't think its going to work then I'm afraid you should completely cut contact. Call it a day. You had a great time, but its a new phase of your life go and 'enjoy' university the way its meant to be enjoyed. Don't keep in regular contact or meet up because it just gets ugly when one of you sleeps with someone at uni and the other one isn't quite over it yet etc.
Original post by Anonymous
because we both have commitments and will be 6 hours away from each other.. i dont see the point in staying together if we will only see each other once a month and only speak over text.. i only see him once every two weeks and i feel single already because of hardly seeing him.. i love him with all my heart but seeing someone once a month is not a relationship.
That whole post is contradictory. If you love someone with all your heart you'll surely prefer once a month to never.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years, it my first ever relationship and his too and were thinking of breaking up due to not having time to see eachother as were both moving opposite ends for university.. its not because we dont love eachother because we still do but we wont see eachother and we think it may be best to walk away and maybe when the circumstances are better to meet up again and see how things are..
But i was wondering whether its right to stay in touch after we break up? he says hed still want to see me and meet up now and then when we can to catch up and maybe go for a day out together.. but id still love him and would still feel the need to kiss him hello/goodbye etc. and feel this may be weird and mess my head up as we wouldnt be together anymore.
We've had problems with seeing eachother just lately and with his work shifts being unpredictable i see him once a week sometimes once every two.. its kind of breaking our relationship apart as i already feel single but i love him with all my heart.
Is it best to cut contact if we broke up? i dont want to stop speaking but i feel it would mess my head up as id still feel like id be in a relationship with him.
Thanks for any advice given!
But i was wondering whether its right to stay in touch after we break up? he says hed still want to see me and meet up now and then when we can to catch up and maybe go for a day out together.. but id still love him and would still feel the need to kiss him hello/goodbye etc. and feel this may be weird and mess my head up as we wouldnt be together anymore.
We've had problems with seeing eachother just lately and with his work shifts being unpredictable i see him once a week sometimes once every two.. its kind of breaking our relationship apart as i already feel single but i love him with all my heart.
Is it best to cut contact if we broke up? i dont want to stop speaking but i feel it would mess my head up as id still feel like id be in a relationship with him.
Thanks for any advice given!
You say you love him but distance is enough to break you up?
You say you love him but not seeing him often makes you feel single?
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Original post by Trustno1
You say you love him but distance is enough to break you up?
You say you love him but not seeing him often makes you feel single?
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You say you love him but not seeing him often makes you feel single?
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How can you have a relationship if you never see each other?
Yes, you can text, skype and all that, but thats not a relationship!
A relationship shouldnt have to be over social networks.
I do love him, and i dont think people on here should be questioning my love for him. I think you should be giving me advice as that is what ive asked for, not for you to question my love for him.
I love him but i dont see the point in a relationship where you wont see one another. It makes no sense!
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