Virginity dilemma?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
I'm your average 19 year old girl, currently finishing A levels (did an extra year) and so going off to university in september - before anyone jumps to conclusions that is not my main reasoning! my friends are very varied in whether or not they've lost their virginity & nobody has ever made me feel bad about it, they're cool with it & some see it as a good thing, they encourage me to keep it until i "meet the right guy and fall in love" etc etc. For a long time, probably until I hit about 18 I was absolutely terrified of losing my virginity, I wasn't ready & I didn't have a lot of self confidence (I was bullied a lot over things like my appearance). Over the past few years my self confidence has blossomed - no bullying - and my current circles of friends are fantastic, hugely supportive over everything & my best friend is exactly the type of person I can be open with and ask questions about her sexual experiences etc, so it's not like I'm being totally naive.

For quite a while, I've been ready to lose my virginity. I've had a fair few offers but I've always declined because they just weren't the type of person I wanted to sleep with, if it's someone I know then I want it to be meaningful, not an awkward quickie that will mean we never look at each other again. Last year I went to kavos & became very close to losing it, I met a really really nice guy & stuff happened but I told him that at that point I didn't want to lose my virginity, which he was really cool with. I'm now not so precious about it, I'm ready to lose it & I'm wondering whether, if the opportunity arose, I should lose it when I go on holiday this year to Malia, - just to be clear I'm not planning this like I'll select some guy to sleep with, purely if I met a nice guy, which despite the stereotypes isn't actually too difficult. - it's not like I'm desperate to lose it, but it's a label that I feel has too much stigma attached and that I don't feel should play a huge deal in whether or not I lose it, and I'm just at the point in my life where I'm ready, I had a boyfriend a few months ago and genuinely thought I'd lose it to him but was kinda disappointed when he didn't seem to into it..

Now I know some people will go for the "lose it to someone special" approach, but to be honest, I don't feel like that's a huge deal and I don't think I'd regret it, fair enough to some people if thats their situation but it's just not mine.. I kinda wish I had slept with the guy on holiday last year because nobody else has ever made me feel so comfortable being in such an intimate setting, and to me personally that tells me I'm ready..

I just really want a general overview of peoples opinions, and if you got together with somebody who told you they'd lost their virginity on holiday - "girls holiday" or otherwise, would that change your opinion on them? & why? sorry for such a long post!
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letsbehonest
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#2
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#2
Go for it

Just be safe


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Zarek
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#3
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#3
Do what you feel like. For me a relationship with a bit of heady feeling, affection and respect would be best..
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joker12345
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#4
Report 7 years ago
#4
Your life, your choice. Personally though I'd save it for something more meaningful and would think twice about a guy who lost it on a lads holiday.
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Mockery
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#5
Report 7 years ago
#5
Chances of meeting a 'nice guy' again on a lads holiday are slim to nil.

I'd say wait until university, you'll meet loads of new people, and get to know someone a little better before you open your legs for them.
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C=N-R
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#6
Report 7 years ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm your average 19 year old girl, currently finishing A levels (did an extra year) and so going off to university in september - before anyone jumps to conclusions that is not my main reasoning! my friends are very varied in whether or not they've lost their virginity & nobody has ever made me feel bad about it, they're cool with it & some see it as a good thing, they encourage me to keep it until i "meet the right guy and fall in love" etc etc. For a long time, probably until I hit about 18 I was absolutely terrified of losing my virginity, I wasn't ready & I didn't have a lot of self confidence (I was bullied a lot over things like my appearance). Over the past few years my self confidence has blossomed - no bullying - and my current circles of friends are fantastic, hugely supportive over everything & my best friend is exactly the type of person I can be open with and ask questions about her sexual experiences etc, so it's not like I'm being totally naive.

For quite a while, I've been ready to lose my virginity. I've had a fair few offers but I've always declined because they just weren't the type of person I wanted to sleep with, if it's someone I know then I want it to be meaningful, not an awkward quickie that will mean we never look at each other again. Last year I went to kavos & became very close to losing it, I met a really really nice guy & stuff happened but I told him that at that point I didn't want to lose my virginity, which he was really cool with. I'm now not so precious about it, I'm ready to lose it & I'm wondering whether, if the opportunity arose, I should lose it when I go on holiday this year to Malia, - just to be clear I'm not planning this like I'll select some guy to sleep with, purely if I met a nice guy, which despite the stereotypes isn't actually too difficult. - it's not like I'm desperate to lose it, but it's a label that I feel has too much stigma attached and that I don't feel should play a huge deal in whether or not I lose it, and I'm just at the point in my life where I'm ready, I had a boyfriend a few months ago and genuinely thought I'd lose it to him but was kinda disappointed when he didn't seem to into it..

Now I know some people will go for the "lose it to someone special" approach, but to be honest, I don't feel like that's a huge deal and I don't think I'd regret it, fair enough to some people if thats their situation but it's just not mine.. I kinda wish I had slept with the guy on holiday last year because nobody else has ever made me feel so comfortable being in such an intimate setting, and to me personally that tells me I'm ready..

I just really want a general overview of peoples opinions, and if you got together with somebody who told you they'd lost their virginity on holiday - "girls holiday" or otherwise, would that change your opinion on them? & why? sorry for such a long post!
Well, your decision on where to lose your virginity is subjective.
If I were you, I would lose it at home prior to going on holiday.
The virginity question does tend to pop up in almost every relationship although you can lie and say otherwise but then you wouldn't be comfortable in case they found out via your friends...

Lose it at home with someone you know or don't know and then go on holiday and enjoy yourself.

I know you want opinions so my opinion on a girl losing her virginity on holiday would be the following;

So she has a lot of respect for herself not to lose it as soon as others which is great but then losing your virginity on holiday? Sort of defeats the purpose of waiting. IMO.
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RMI12
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#7
Report 7 years ago
#7
Tbh, speaking as someone in their thirties, it really doesn't matter who, when or where. As long as you're comfortable with it, and do it for the right reasons nothing else matters. Anyone who judges you on when or where you lost your virginity or to whom isn't worth your time imo.

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Sankavi
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#8
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#8
Don't sex before marriage is wrong,you can get aids/infertility or even be pregnant don't be stupid.
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C=N-R
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#9
Report 7 years ago
#9
(Original post by Sankavi)
Don't sex before marriage is wrong,you can get aids/infertility or even be pregnant don't be stupid.
She was asking for an honest opinion not religious based opinions.
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RMI12
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#10
Report 7 years ago
#10
(Original post by Sankavi)
Don't sex before marriage is wrong,you can get aids/infertility or even be pregnant don't be stupid.
you can get aids or get pregnant after marriage too you know.

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FemaleEinstein
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#11
Report 7 years ago
#11
at the end of the day, as long as you're comfortable with how it happens, go for it!

(Original post by Anonymous)
if you got together with somebody who told you they'd lost their virginity on holiday - "girls holiday" or otherwise, would that change your opinion on them? & why?
I used to worry all the time about what future partners might think about how I lost my virginity. Then I met the guy who I DID loose my virginity to and I realised that the right people won't mind and will understand your past choices. Anyone who judges you based upon that isn't someone who loves you unconditionally, and so not someone who's opinion you should worry about!
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ZeroName
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#12
Report 7 years ago
#12
From my view, get someone expierienced and it's a decent bang to oral if your lucky. But if the guys inexpierienced a minute or two then mastebating or w/e. Ahem... You'll always remember the person if you're a person to remember yourself. Yeye...
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Anonymous #2
#13
Report 7 years ago
#13
If you choose to have sex on holiday or in any other very casual situation (whether it's your first time or any time), just remember it's with an unaccountable stranger. Don't place yourself in a situation where you couldn't leave or get help. I very sadly know of a girl in my social circles who was raped when she went back to a stranger's house alone (intending to have sex, but he was then forceful about things he wanted to do / she changed her mind). People don't seem to think of that aspect of safety as much as condoms.
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Titus20
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#14
Report 7 years ago
#14
Save it for marriage if sex means anything to you
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Lotus_Eater
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#15
Report 7 years ago
#15
When you're truly ready to have sex you don't need to ask for the endorsement of strangers on an internet forum.
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Yasmin pheobe
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#16
Report 7 months ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm your average 19 year old girl, currently finishing A levels (did an extra year) and so going off to university in september - before anyone jumps to conclusions that is not my main reasoning! my friends are very varied in whether or not they've lost their virginity & nobody has ever made me feel bad about it, they're cool with it & some see it as a good thing, they encourage me to keep it until i "meet the right guy and fall in love" etc etc. For a long time, probably until I hit about 18 I was absolutely terrified of losing my virginity, I wasn't ready & I didn't have a lot of self confidence (I was bullied a lot over things like my appearance). Over the past few years my self confidence has blossomed - no bullying - and my current circles of friends are fantastic, hugely supportive over everything & my best friend is exactly the type of person I can be open with and ask questions about her sexual experiences etc, so it's not like I'm being totally naive.

For quite a while, I've been ready to lose my virginity. I've had a fair few offers but I've always declined because they just weren't the type of person I wanted to sleep with, if it's someone I know then I want it to be meaningful, not an awkward quickie that will mean we never look at each other again. Last year I went to kavos & became very close to losing it, I met a really really nice guy & stuff happened but I told him that at that point I didn't want to lose my virginity, which he was really cool with. I'm now not so precious about it, I'm ready to lose it & I'm wondering whether, if the opportunity arose, I should lose it when I go on holiday this year to Malia, - just to be clear I'm not planning this like I'll select some guy to sleep with, purely if I met a nice guy, which despite the stereotypes isn't actually too difficult. - it's not like I'm desperate to lose it, but it's a label that I feel has too much stigma attached and that I don't feel should play a huge deal in whether or not I lose it, and I'm just at the point in my life where I'm ready, I had a boyfriend a few months ago and genuinely thought I'd lose it to him but was kinda disappointed when he didn't seem to into it..

Now I know some people will go for the "lose it to someone special" approach, but to be honest, I don't feel like that's a huge deal and I don't think I'd regret it, fair enough to some people if thats their situation but it's just not mine.. I kinda wish I had slept with the guy on holiday last year because nobody else has ever made me feel so comfortable being in such an intimate setting, and to me personally that tells me I'm ready..

I just really want a general overview of peoples opinions, and if you got together with somebody who told you they'd lost their virginity on holiday - "girls holiday" or otherwise, would that change your opinion on them? & why? sorry for such a long post!
Unfortunately you can never know exactly how you will feel about it until you actually do it.

the issue with sleeping with someone on holiday is you might not ever see them again and so because of that, you could end up missing them or getting jealous of them sleeping with other girls, you’d get over it but you could be a bit hurt especially if the sex was really good it would make you want to come back for more but if you could only see him a few times a year he would of found someone else by then. With those reasons taken into consideration I think you did the right thing not sleeping with the guy on holiday. He made you feel comfortable but everyone feels their best self on holiday and that’s because they are so happy and relaxed- unless he lived there. But either way, you don’t live there.

obviously make sure you use protection especially if it’s someone your not in a relationship with or a new relationship which you already know- and take a pregnancy test a few weeks afterwards just to make sure there hasn’t been any ‘accidents’

I would say I very recently first had intercourse with a guy who told me right off he didn’t want commitment and I did it because I thought I could change his mind with sex, I regret it and feel a bit dirty, but on the pros, at least I now know what I like vs what I don’t like, and I find myself feeling horny a lot less because it kind of turned me off. It was just a bit sleazy and disgusting - a lot of men pressure girls for blow jobs/ deep throat and so on and that stuff just tastes a gross and feels uncomfortable. It can also hurt if your not in ‘doggy’ position or on all 4s so there’s a lot of things to take into consideration

a guy could be great, then put pressure on you in bed and then your feelings on him will change, but hopefully you’ll meet someone who doesn’t do that, which I hope to in the future
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YaliaV123
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#17
Report 7 months ago
#17
(Original post by Yasmin pheobe)
Unfortunately you can never know exactly how you will feel about it until you actually do it.

the issue with sleeping with someone on holiday is you might not ever see them again and so because of that, you could end up missing them or getting jealous of them sleeping with other girls, you’d get over it but you could be a bit hurt especially if the sex was really good it would make you want to come back for more but if you could only see him a few times a year he would of found someone else by then. With those reasons taken into consideration I think you did the right thing not sleeping with the guy on holiday. He made you feel comfortable but everyone feels their best self on holiday and that’s because they are so happy and relaxed- unless he lived there. But either way, you don’t live there.

obviously make sure you use protection especially if it’s someone your not in a relationship with or a new relationship which you already know- and take a pregnancy test a few weeks afterwards just to make sure there hasn’t been any ‘accidents’

I would say I very recently first had intercourse with a guy who told me right off he didn’t want commitment and I did it because I thought I could change his mind with sex, I regret it and feel a bit dirty, but on the pros, at least I now know what I like vs what I don’t like, and I find myself feeling horny a lot less because it kind of turned me off. It was just a bit sleazy and disgusting - a lot of men pressure girls for blow jobs/ deep throat and so on and that stuff just tastes a gross and feels uncomfortable. It can also hurt if your not in ‘doggy’ position or on all 4s so there’s a lot of things to take into consideration

a guy could be great, then put pressure on you in bed and then your feelings on him will change, but hopefully you’ll meet someone who doesn’t do that, which I hope to in the future
The thread was created 7 years ago, so the OP has probably lost her virginity by now.
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brjf
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#18
Report 7 months ago
#18
(Original post by YaliaV123)
The thread was created 7 years ago, so the OP has probably lost her virginity by now.
Hmm, I do wonder
Maybe, maybe not 🤷*♂️
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