Am I overreacting? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
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So there's this guy, he has this very obvious interest in me and has made suggetions before like sending poems"for a joke" or intently asking questions about my love interests or whatever.
Anyways I've always found it a bit creepy and annoying but I live with it, because I have to talk to him for some school stuff.

Anyways today I had an exam, today is exam week for me, and so i get home and he asks me how it went, normal convo, soon runs out cause I always reply short answers (I don't want to talk to him but I hate not reppllying to messages...)

then suddenly he says:
HIM: ah and btw.(sunny day)+(you bending over)+(white light shorts)=?
ME: Creepiness?
HIM: don't kill the messenger! you were writing something on the paper as you gave it back. It was stare at clock, stare at boring paper or see who's leaving. at what point did I choose to do something creepy?

So I just lost it a bit and told him he was creepy and just to stop looking at things he wasn't gonna get..and he's been defending himself.
Now rereading I get that maybe it was a genuienly meant to be remark about my shorts (which are slgihtly see through but I was wearing white underneatth and they're not THAT BAD) but it's I know he's interested, it's been pretty clear...


Am I overreacting (I am under a lot of stress) or am I justified in telling him he was creepy?

It's just working em up and I'm desesperatly trying to revise..
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Mockery
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Only you're to blame for all of this. You don't sound like you like him, at all. Yet you've never been politely clear with him about this. Why? Because you want something from him.. A bit selfish don't you think?

Of course he's going to keep trying if he likes you and doesn't know about your distaste of him; we're guys, we have to be forward and risk being labelled as 'creepy'.

Your reaction was unjust. I think that you deserve to give him an apology for your outburst. But more importantly, he deserves to be politely told that you're not interested.
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badgerbear
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how the **** is she to blame? replier ubove you sound like a rape apologist, at the very least an apologist for sexual harrassment. No one has the right to make you uncomfortable like that. its not ok to assume that someone is into you unless she specificies otherwise, she shouldnt have to make it clear to him. He sounds like a creep. Thats not the way to go about seeing if someones into you surely?? :s
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AdamCee
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Bit of both tbh I think.

If you don't like him but you talk to him for 'school work' then, as above, that's a little selfish.

However of course if he's doing something you're uncomfortable with then yea, you should tell him. No overreaction there
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L0L!
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If you're wearing provocative clothing, honey...
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L0L!
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Sure he should be moral, respectful but...men are simple. They respond based on what females give them or they just turn into potatoes. lol If a girl is dressing sexily he will respond with sex. Or wanting it.
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Mockery
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(Original post by badgerbear)
how the **** is she to blame? replier ubove you sound like a rape apologist, at the very least an apologist for sexual harrassment. No one has the right to make you uncomfortable like that. its not ok to assume that someone is into you unless she specificies otherwise, she shouldnt have to make it clear to him. He sounds like a creep. Thats not the way to go about seeing if someones into you surely?? :s
Did you sign up just to post that absolute tosh? You're going to be a valuable member..
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louieee
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yeah I agree with the first reply, I mean it's really unfair to not make it clear how you feel about him.
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jay2013
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(Original post by L0L!)
Sure he should be moral, respectful but...men are simple. They respond based on what females give them or they just turn into potatoes. lol If a girl is dressing sexily he will respond with sex. Or wanting it.
Agreed.

"ah and btw.(sunny day)+(you bending over)+(white light shorts)="

This is a clear indication of what he was thinking. Plus the fact that the OP knows he's interested as well.

But the OP has to make clear whether she's interested or not, which I don't think she has so far.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Mockery)
Only you're to blame for all of this. You don't sound like you like him, at all. Yet you've never been politely clear with him about this. Why? Because you want something from him.. A bit selfish don't you think?

Of course he's going to keep trying if he likes you and doesn't know about your distaste of him; we're guys, we have to be forward and risk being labelled as 'creepy'.

Your reaction was unjust. I think that you deserve to give him an apology for your outburst. But more importantly, he deserves to be politely told that you're not interested.

Ok I didn't make it very clear I guess but I've never led him on whatsoever, I've made it as clear as possible that I am not into him. I've never clearly rejected him because he's never clearly asked, and I can hardly go up to him and say "öh you know how it's soooo obvious you're into me? well I'm not."

But I mean I rejected dances with him at prom, plainly stated I didn't like nor want the poems, and I clearly avoid him generally, especially physical contact (I'm from a culture where you greet people either by hugs and cheek kisses). I've asked friends if I was obvious enugh about it and they said I was.

Also I want nothing from him, I want a normal, platonic "work" relationship basically, as we need (well soon not anymore) to worktogether for school stuff! It's not by choice its just we're both part of the same club and organise it, I didn't choose it.

I have nothing to gain from this , I do not AT ALL feel flaterred by it, and it doesn't help my ego whatsoever. He's even cockblocked me once, and I hate it when -people like me in that way.



(Original post by badgerbear)
how the **** is she to blame? replier ubove you sound like a rape apologist, at the very least an apologist for sexual harrassment. No one has the right to make you uncomfortable like that. its not ok to assume that someone is into you unless she specificies otherwise, she shouldnt have to make it clear to him. He sounds like a creep. Thats not the way to go about seeing if someones into you surely?? :s

Thanks, I do belive this isn't my fault as it's been pretty clear I'm not interested :/


(Original post by AdamCee)
Bit of both tbh I think.

If you don't like him but you talk to him for 'school work' then, as above, that's a little selfish.

However of course if he's doing something you're uncomfortable with then yea, you should tell him. No overreaction there
I don't understand how I'm being selfish for school work? I mean literally we have to pic topic for a debate club and there's 4 of us in charge of this and he's one of them so I can't just blank him out for that? O.o


(Original post by L0L!)
If you're wearing provocative clothing, honey...
"provocative" isn't really the right term.. I mean long shorts, they just happen to be white (So not completly opaque I guess) and this is why I wore white underneath but it's hardly as if I was asking for it >.< If they wre really provocative my school wuold have give me a pair of black pants as i walked in the front door anyhow
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AdamCee
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Ah my bad. I misunderstood what you meant - I thought you were asking him for help with homework and the such.

Still though, you are not overreacting at all. Don't worry about it
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lswxznvv
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You aren't overreacting, what he said was creepy. If I was you though, I would just stop replying to his messages. You don't want to speak to him and you aren't interested so it makes sense to just ignore him. He will take the hint and stop harassing you.
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