Should we wait to have sex until we are older?
Hey everyone thought this might result in a good chat, so read away and post you opinions 
In 2010 Glasgow University conducted a survey which revealed that in Britain more than a third of young women (age 13-15) regret their decision to have sex so early. A worrying 38 per cent of teenage girls regretted losing their virginity, and a fifth said they felt pressured to do so. However there is also research by DfE to suggest that boys are not so different from girls when it comes to the views on sexual activity. It is also shown that people believe that their peers are more experienced than they actually are, in fact 78% over estimated the sexual activity of their peers.
So a couple of questions for everyone to have a chat about:
- do you regret having sex when you were under 18?
- Did you feel pressured either by peer pressure or society?
-Do you agree that boys and girls views on this are the same?
-Did you think that your friends were more active than they actually were?
-Lastly, do you wish that you were able to talk to other young people about sex before you made your decision on whether you were ready?
My opinions are: I was older I was 19 and had been going out with my boyfriend a good wee while so I personally think I was ready but any younger and I think I would have been much more immature, personally.
I didn’t feel particularly pressured mainly due to the fact that my friends were in the same boat nobody was rushing into anything if anything we had the opposite issue that you would be judged if you did do anything too quickly, but that may have been due to the type of school I went to.
I think the views of boys and girls are probably pretty much the same tbh, but I think girls might find it easier to talk about it to their girlfriends compared to guys, we might have a better support system than the boys did as they, at that age, would maybe be more inclined to make a joke out of it.
As I said above I knew what my friends were doing so this one is a bit of a moot point for me.
Maybe I wished I could have talked to some people about it before hand, but like I said I was older and I had thought about it for a good while, plus I had a solid group of friends which not everybody might have. Saying that, I do sometimes have things usually sexual health related that I definitely couldn’t talk to my friends about and I would go to the internet for so I can appreciate that some people would want to talk over how they were feeling in relation to sex before they went through with it especially at a younger age such as 11-18.
Some links if you are interested:
In 2010 Glasgow University conducted a survey which revealed that in Britain more than a third of young women (age 13-15) regret their decision to have sex so early. A worrying 38 per cent of teenage girls regretted losing their virginity, and a fifth said they felt pressured to do so. However there is also research by DfE to suggest that boys are not so different from girls when it comes to the views on sexual activity. It is also shown that people believe that their peers are more experienced than they actually are, in fact 78% over estimated the sexual activity of their peers.
So a couple of questions for everyone to have a chat about:
- do you regret having sex when you were under 18?
- Did you feel pressured either by peer pressure or society?
-Do you agree that boys and girls views on this are the same?
-Did you think that your friends were more active than they actually were?
-Lastly, do you wish that you were able to talk to other young people about sex before you made your decision on whether you were ready?
My opinions are: I was older I was 19 and had been going out with my boyfriend a good wee while so I personally think I was ready but any younger and I think I would have been much more immature, personally.
I didn’t feel particularly pressured mainly due to the fact that my friends were in the same boat nobody was rushing into anything if anything we had the opposite issue that you would be judged if you did do anything too quickly, but that may have been due to the type of school I went to.
I think the views of boys and girls are probably pretty much the same tbh, but I think girls might find it easier to talk about it to their girlfriends compared to guys, we might have a better support system than the boys did as they, at that age, would maybe be more inclined to make a joke out of it.
As I said above I knew what my friends were doing so this one is a bit of a moot point for me.
Maybe I wished I could have talked to some people about it before hand, but like I said I was older and I had thought about it for a good while, plus I had a solid group of friends which not everybody might have. Saying that, I do sometimes have things usually sexual health related that I definitely couldn’t talk to my friends about and I would go to the internet for so I can appreciate that some people would want to talk over how they were feeling in relation to sex before they went through with it especially at a younger age such as 11-18.
Some links if you are interested:
Spoiler
Scroll to see replies
1) No, I don't regret it. I was 17, with my boyfriend and it was great
2) Yes. I felt society kind of mocked virgins
3) more similar than they'd think
4) yeah. I thought I was the last virgin in the group, turns out I was the first to loose it.
5) No. I don't think sex is a big deal
2) Yes. I felt society kind of mocked virgins
3) more similar than they'd think
4) yeah. I thought I was the last virgin in the group, turns out I was the first to loose it.
5) No. I don't think sex is a big deal
This opinion will be unpopular, but I think the underage sex law should be strictly enforced. No sexual relations allowed under the age of 16. If that was strictly enforced, possibly in a humiliating manner, that would take the pressure off younger boys and girls to have sex, and give them an excuse not to have sex. Just my two p...
At the same time, sex education should be much better than it currently is. I would also introduce dating lessons etc, with practical exercises. Every week I would pick a boy and girl at random and send them out on a date together (on a strict behaviour code) so they learn that hanging out alone with someone of the opposite sex is actually a totally normal thing and don't **** themselves when they want to ask someone out for real / are asked out by someone. I think that may relieve the pressure on boys somewhat.
At the same time, sex education should be much better than it currently is. I would also introduce dating lessons etc, with practical exercises. Every week I would pick a boy and girl at random and send them out on a date together (on a strict behaviour code) so they learn that hanging out alone with someone of the opposite sex is actually a totally normal thing and don't **** themselves when they want to ask someone out for real / are asked out by someone. I think that may relieve the pressure on boys somewhat.
(edited 9 years ago)
I lost mine at 16 to a total stranger. I don't regret it one bit - I just saw it as something to get over with, so I could move on and actually start to enjoy relationships/sex and not have it be this massive focus or worry about losing it to "the one" (which basically never happens).
I think my attitude as a teenager differed massively to what it is now as an adult and more so as a parent. As a teenager it's something everyone is doing, or at least you get that impression from everyone, that it's something amazing and fun to do and it's something that you're not supposed to do (in the case of U16's). Peer pressure is a massive thing, especially as a teenager where you feel the need to fit in with your friends to quite an extreme level. I think it's quite understandable that teenagers have sex at the ages they do when thinking like this and that's without taking into account the haywire hormones you get at that age.
In adulthood, we have the benefit of hindsight and experience, we can reflect over things and think, goodness, that was a silly thing to do, or why did I do that at such a young age? We don't view things with the same mindset we had when we were 15 or whatever.
In adulthood, we have the benefit of hindsight and experience, we can reflect over things and think, goodness, that was a silly thing to do, or why did I do that at such a young age? We don't view things with the same mindset we had when we were 15 or whatever.
Original post by lyrical_lie
So a couple of questions for everyone to have a chat about:
- do you regret having sex when you were under 18?
- Did you feel pressured either by peer pressure or society?
-Do you agree that boys and girls views on this are the same?
-Did you think that your friends were more active than they actually were?
-Lastly, do you wish that you were able to talk to other young people about sex before you made your decision on whether you were ready?
So a couple of questions for everyone to have a chat about:
- do you regret having sex when you were under 18?
- Did you feel pressured either by peer pressure or society?
-Do you agree that boys and girls views on this are the same?
-Did you think that your friends were more active than they actually were?
-Lastly, do you wish that you were able to talk to other young people about sex before you made your decision on whether you were ready?
1) Yes I do regret it. I was 17 and lose it to a friend. Thought I was ready.
2) Peer pressure as people I knew started having sex while in comp and thought I should too.
3) Yes. My husband felt pressure to lose his virginity too. Worse when he got to uni.
4) No I don't think so.
5) I was able to talk to a few people but wish that I didn't. Wouldn't have made my decision if I thought I didn't know enough about sex. Does that make sense?
Posted from TSR Mobile
1. No, not at all. I lost my virginity (somewhat unconventionally) when I was 17, and felt I was making the right choice for myself. I still think that I did so.
2. I can't say I did feel any; some of my friends were sexually active, some weren't. None of us really cared.
3. I'm not quite sure. I can't say I know enough boys well enough to know their views!
4. Nope. We were all fairly open in our friendship group, so we knew pretty much when people did what because they would usually tell each other.
5. Definitely. I generally wish sex topics and sex education were both much more openly talked about.
2. I can't say I did feel any; some of my friends were sexually active, some weren't. None of us really cared.
3. I'm not quite sure. I can't say I know enough boys well enough to know their views!
4. Nope. We were all fairly open in our friendship group, so we knew pretty much when people did what because they would usually tell each other.
5. Definitely. I generally wish sex topics and sex education were both much more openly talked about.
(edited 9 years ago)
1) I haven't had it, I'm 18 and I don't regret "waiting" (I wouldn't really call it waiting, the only gay in the village and all that). It's such an unimportant thing for me
2) Not really, a couple of my friends really did though and it was the only reason they had sex. Felt a bit sorry for them to be so consumed by trying to get it.
3) Not at all.
4) No way.
5) Nah.
2) Not really, a couple of my friends really did though and it was the only reason they had sex. Felt a bit sorry for them to be so consumed by trying to get it.
3) Not at all.
4) No way.
5) Nah.
Original post by Mockery
Who spends this much time mulling over the past?! Christ almighty...
The present and future are all that matter.
The present and future are all that matter.
I think it's more if we look back and wish we had someone to talk to, then it's likely people know might wish it too. So then we can give advice to the people who are presently thinking this and they can feel less worried and speak to people so that in the future they'll be happy with their choices
Spoiler
Original post by Flauta
1) I haven't had it, I'm 18 and I don't regret "waiting" (I wouldn't really call it waiting, the only gay in the village and all that). It's such an unimportant thing for me
2) Not really, a couple of my friends really did though and it was the only reason they had sex. Felt a bit sorry for them to be so consumed by trying to get it.
3) Not at all.
4) No way.
5) Nah.
2) Not really, a couple of my friends really did though and it was the only reason they had sex. Felt a bit sorry for them to be so consumed by trying to get it.
3) Not at all.
4) No way.
5) Nah.
Why do you think they're different?
So a couple of questions for everyone to have a chat about:
- do you regret having sex when you were under 18?
- Did you feel pressured either by peer pressure or society?
-Do you agree that boys and girls views on this are the same?
-Did you think that your friends were more active than they actually were?
-Lastly, do you wish that you were able to talk to other young people about sex before you made your decision on whether you were ready?
1-Never had sex ,I'm a virgin by choice(devout hindu) and will remain till I get married (25-30 years old)
2-Not in my society being virgin is a good thing and people will respect you for that.
3-No
4- NO
5-Nop sex is a taboo in my community
- do you regret having sex when you were under 18?
- Did you feel pressured either by peer pressure or society?
-Do you agree that boys and girls views on this are the same?
-Did you think that your friends were more active than they actually were?
-Lastly, do you wish that you were able to talk to other young people about sex before you made your decision on whether you were ready?
1-Never had sex ,I'm a virgin by choice(devout hindu) and will remain till I get married (25-30 years old)
2-Not in my society being virgin is a good thing and people will respect you for that.
3-No
4- NO
5-Nop sex is a taboo in my community
(edited 9 years ago)
- Didn't have it under 18.
- Perhaps a bit of self-inflicted peer pressure. Not a lot though.
- No. Girls, on the whole, more cautious at younger ages. Also, agree with you OP that generally girls will have natural support groups that boys don't.
- No. If anything I'd say I'd underestimated how much sex people were having.
- No. I don't think age of people providing sex education content and forums matters. As long as they're respected, as with any teacher. However, I do think sex ed should be more thorough as too many young people (incl. young adults) are ignorant and blase about sex imo.
- Perhaps a bit of self-inflicted peer pressure. Not a lot though.
- No. Girls, on the whole, more cautious at younger ages. Also, agree with you OP that generally girls will have natural support groups that boys don't.
- No. If anything I'd say I'd underestimated how much sex people were having.
- No. I don't think age of people providing sex education content and forums matters. As long as they're respected, as with any teacher. However, I do think sex ed should be more thorough as too many young people (incl. young adults) are ignorant and blase about sex imo.
Original post by lyrical_lie
Why do you think they're different?
Well as someone who had friends who were both boys and girls, the boys watched a lot of porn and showed it around each other at break and lunch etc, sex was completely normal to them and it was all half of them seemed interested in when they were about 12-15. I guess with girls there's a lot of slut shaming, those girls who did have sex were bullied rather than glorified like the boys, so they came to regret their decisions more.
To be honest I think girls are just more gossipy, and that comes out as harsh against someone who they have something to gossip about.
(edited 9 years ago)
- do you regret having sex when you were under 18?
Well I lost my virginity when I was 15 but that wasn't by choice. That is something I do wish hadn't happened, but that's obvious.
I was 16 (close to 17) when I had sex for the first time voluntarily, and no I don't regret it.
- Did you feel pressured either by peer pressure or society?
Not particularly
-Do you agree that boys and girls views on this are the same?
I think boys are generally under more pressure than girls. A guy is seen as a "stud" if he has sex, as though it's somehow the cool manly thing to do. Girls perhaps less so.
-Did you think that your friends were more active than they actually were?
No, I knew that my friends were virgins, they made no secret of that fact.
-Lastly, do you wish that you were able to talk to other young people about sex before you made your decision on whether you were ready?
No it wouldn't have made a difference.
Well I lost my virginity when I was 15 but that wasn't by choice. That is something I do wish hadn't happened, but that's obvious.
I was 16 (close to 17) when I had sex for the first time voluntarily, and no I don't regret it.
- Did you feel pressured either by peer pressure or society?
Not particularly
-Do you agree that boys and girls views on this are the same?
I think boys are generally under more pressure than girls. A guy is seen as a "stud" if he has sex, as though it's somehow the cool manly thing to do. Girls perhaps less so.
-Did you think that your friends were more active than they actually were?
No, I knew that my friends were virgins, they made no secret of that fact.
-Lastly, do you wish that you were able to talk to other young people about sex before you made your decision on whether you were ready?
No it wouldn't have made a difference.
I'm still a virgin. Everyone I'm around looks down on those who aren't virgins, so I always conformed and I'm glad I did. I'd rather not be a s**t. But I think a lot of girls actually like being used? Who knows?
Omg this is so weird.. Everytime i think of something, like a debate in my mind, You guys make a thread about it ;')
Well, i was thinking. A teen i believe is 'not-ready'. Like have you seen a teens body? It's very fragile, let's say raw..
Yes most teens like me have boobies, hips and a bum (OK i don't have a big bum, but i can still twerk)
Anyways, yes we have all of these but it's not ready to go through a rush of orgasms etc.. Even a boy. Boys' dicks i don't think are ready/cooked
for the job yet.
I think the best time to have sex, is when you're sexiest.. Aged 18-19 i believe you are fully developed, mature and free to do whatever..
I am a virgin thank god, but i was once pressured to do it. Like i was dumb and 13. This guy flirted etc etc.. asked ALOT even after i rejected but still flirted n asked. I thankfully blocked him out of my life and kept my pussy shut
I think boys are a bit more lucky.. Yes they loose their virginity, but they don't actually loose much. Their cherry isn't popped (sorry couldn't remember the real words for it)..
Well, i was thinking. A teen i believe is 'not-ready'. Like have you seen a teens body? It's very fragile, let's say raw..
Yes most teens like me have boobies, hips and a bum (OK i don't have a big bum, but i can still twerk)
Anyways, yes we have all of these but it's not ready to go through a rush of orgasms etc.. Even a boy. Boys' dicks i don't think are ready/cooked
for the job yet.I think the best time to have sex, is when you're sexiest.. Aged 18-19 i believe you are fully developed, mature and free to do whatever..
I am a virgin thank god, but i was once pressured to do it. Like i was dumb and 13. This guy flirted etc etc.. asked ALOT even after i rejected but still flirted n asked. I thankfully blocked him out of my life and kept my pussy shut
I think boys are a bit more lucky.. Yes they loose their virginity, but they don't actually loose much. Their cherry isn't popped (sorry couldn't remember the real words for it)..
Original post by Dinaa
Omg this is so weird.. Everytime i think of something, like a debate in my mind, You guys make a thread about it ;')
Well, i was thinking. A teen i believe is 'not-ready'. Like have you seen a teens body? It's very fragile, let's say raw..
Yes most teens like me have boobies, hips and a bum (OK i don't have a big bum, but i can still twerk)
Anyways, yes we have all of these but it's not ready to go through a rush of orgasms etc.. Even a boy. Boys' dicks i don't think are ready/cooked for the job yet.
I think the best time to have sex, is when you're sexiest.. Aged 18-19 i believe you are fully developed, mature and free to do whatever..
I am a virgin thank god, but i was once pressured to do it. Like i was dumb and 13. This guy flirted etc etc.. asked ALOT even after i rejected but still flirted n asked. I thankfully blocked him out of my life and kept my pussy shut
I think boys are a bit more lucky.. Yes they loose their virginity, but they don't actually loose much. Their cherry isn't popped (sorry couldn't remember the real words for it)..
Well, i was thinking. A teen i believe is 'not-ready'. Like have you seen a teens body? It's very fragile, let's say raw..
Yes most teens like me have boobies, hips and a bum (OK i don't have a big bum, but i can still twerk)
Anyways, yes we have all of these but it's not ready to go through a rush of orgasms etc.. Even a boy. Boys' dicks i don't think are ready/cooked
for the job yet.I think the best time to have sex, is when you're sexiest.. Aged 18-19 i believe you are fully developed, mature and free to do whatever..
I am a virgin thank god, but i was once pressured to do it. Like i was dumb and 13. This guy flirted etc etc.. asked ALOT even after i rejected but still flirted n asked. I thankfully blocked him out of my life and kept my pussy shut
I think boys are a bit more lucky.. Yes they loose their virginity, but they don't actually loose much. Their cherry isn't popped (sorry couldn't remember the real words for it)..
erm a person's body is ready for sex once they enter puberty. orgasm isn't something that may snap a petite body. and there are people who still look fragile even after 18.
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