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My Life is Uh....All Over the Place.
My life is ALL OVER the place.
I quit AS Levels because I couldn't do them, and now I completely refuse to go back to college. I've really got a BAD case of procrastination. Meaning that I'm am a tramp, and I can't even do basic things because I "can't be bothered". I'm very disorganised and I lack concentration, but I can't help it. I think I may have ADHD, I'll be going to the doctor to sort that out.
I'm now in an unfurnished council flat, and I might be entitled to a grant to get it furnished and stuff. I have to apply for a million council benefits, which I don't want to live on. I want to work so I don't have to scrape pennies to survive.
I also am scared of getting a job, since I don't think anyone would want to hire ME or anything. I lack confidence in formal situations. I'm even scared of wearing formalwear.
So, right now, I'm mostly worried about what I want to do for the future. I want to end up at uni, but I completely want to avoid college. I think right now, I want to learn some life skills and that crap, "get myself together". I don't want to be sitting at home doing nothing.
The problem is, I don't know how to do it, really. I would like to go to uni, but since I'm 17/18, I'll have to wait till I'm 21 to get in if I don't go the conventional A Level/BTEC route, which is something I have decided I definately do not want to do. So it's either I do something to bridge the gap between now and uni (any suggestions?), or.... I was thinking of getting a job, and travelling. Does travelling help at all.
It's quite apparent how all over the place I am from the structure of this thread o_____O My confidence, education, financial situation, happiness, social life, appearance are all in a crap state, and I have no idea as to how to resolve it.
I know that this forum isn't a place for everyone to solve their problems, but I was hoping that someone who has been in a similar situation could give me advice.
I quit AS Levels because I couldn't do them, and now I completely refuse to go back to college. I've really got a BAD case of procrastination. Meaning that I'm am a tramp, and I can't even do basic things because I "can't be bothered". I'm very disorganised and I lack concentration, but I can't help it. I think I may have ADHD, I'll be going to the doctor to sort that out.
I'm now in an unfurnished council flat, and I might be entitled to a grant to get it furnished and stuff. I have to apply for a million council benefits, which I don't want to live on. I want to work so I don't have to scrape pennies to survive.
I also am scared of getting a job, since I don't think anyone would want to hire ME or anything. I lack confidence in formal situations. I'm even scared of wearing formalwear.
So, right now, I'm mostly worried about what I want to do for the future. I want to end up at uni, but I completely want to avoid college. I think right now, I want to learn some life skills and that crap, "get myself together". I don't want to be sitting at home doing nothing.
The problem is, I don't know how to do it, really. I would like to go to uni, but since I'm 17/18, I'll have to wait till I'm 21 to get in if I don't go the conventional A Level/BTEC route, which is something I have decided I definately do not want to do. So it's either I do something to bridge the gap between now and uni (any suggestions?), or.... I was thinking of getting a job, and travelling. Does travelling help at all.
It's quite apparent how all over the place I am from the structure of this thread o_____O My confidence, education, financial situation, happiness, social life, appearance are all in a crap state, and I have no idea as to how to resolve it.
I know that this forum isn't a place for everyone to solve their problems, but I was hoping that someone who has been in a similar situation could give me advice.
Scroll to see replies
and yet you still have a computer and internet connection?
nonetheless - why do you need a "plan for the future"? Just do what you want to, think about it later. You're totally free of anything - ENJOY IT!
I also am scared of getting a job, since I don't think anyone would want to hire ME or anything.
why's that? If you work cheap enough then some cappie will be more than willing to exploit you. No worries there.
and Samba...since when have you been male?
nonetheless - why do you need a "plan for the future"? Just do what you want to, think about it later. You're totally free of anything - ENJOY IT!
I also am scared of getting a job, since I don't think anyone would want to hire ME or anything.
why's that? If you work cheap enough then some cappie will be more than willing to exploit you. No worries there.
and Samba...since when have you been male?
samba
lmao! Always. You're just oblivious seemingly 
Is being male a bad thing?
AND WHY DID I SEEM FEMALE TO YOU YOUNG THUD?!
Is being male a bad thing?
AND WHY DID I SEEM FEMALE TO YOU YOUNG THUD?!
I always thought you were female too.
I mean, you could be wrong, come on.
Bitmap
I'm now in an unfurnished council flat, and I might be entitled to a grant to get it furnished and stuff.
Well, I'm sure the library will be happy at you using their computers at 4:48. Or are you exaggerating an ickle bit? Also, why don't you live with parents / relatives? "Might be" - you will be entitled at 17. You'll also get a job (this is not hypothesis, you will get a job) out of sheer boredom. Then everything will be fine, right?
Taking this at face value...
Right. It's pretty impossible to do anything beyond entry-level without qualifications, and because A-level result rates are sky-rocketing, they're pretty basic qualifications these days. Don't rule them out completely; how the hell do you know at seventeen that you can't possibly 'handle' them? Some people just need a break from education. A mate of mine dropped out of her AS level year just before Christmas. She got a job, working in Subway - actually, for my dad, but that's beside the point - and spent a year working, earning money and deciding what to do, basically.
Now she's working at an estate agents, just been promoted, and is taking Law and English A-levels, with the intention of becoming a legal secretary at some point in the future. She rents a flat in town, and is starting to get herself together.
Fact One: Most jobs require something in the way of qualifications. I got work from about the age of sixteen, seventeen, with temp agencies; doing office work, data entry, photocopying and stuff, and they required GCSES to do it. It's also bloody boring if you're not qualified to do anything reasonably interesting.
Fact Two: You can take A-levels at night classes, so you're able to work/work out what you want to do, during the day.
Fact Three: Having nothing to do is incredibly boring.
Fact Four: Living off benefits is pretty ****. They tend to budget for eating Tesco's damaged goods and stuff.
Give further education another go, really. I mean - after all, what do you want to actually *do* with your life?
Right. It's pretty impossible to do anything beyond entry-level without qualifications, and because A-level result rates are sky-rocketing, they're pretty basic qualifications these days. Don't rule them out completely; how the hell do you know at seventeen that you can't possibly 'handle' them? Some people just need a break from education. A mate of mine dropped out of her AS level year just before Christmas. She got a job, working in Subway - actually, for my dad, but that's beside the point - and spent a year working, earning money and deciding what to do, basically.
Now she's working at an estate agents, just been promoted, and is taking Law and English A-levels, with the intention of becoming a legal secretary at some point in the future. She rents a flat in town, and is starting to get herself together.
Fact One: Most jobs require something in the way of qualifications. I got work from about the age of sixteen, seventeen, with temp agencies; doing office work, data entry, photocopying and stuff, and they required GCSES to do it. It's also bloody boring if you're not qualified to do anything reasonably interesting.
Fact Two: You can take A-levels at night classes, so you're able to work/work out what you want to do, during the day.
Fact Three: Having nothing to do is incredibly boring.
Fact Four: Living off benefits is pretty ****. They tend to budget for eating Tesco's damaged goods and stuff.
Give further education another go, really. I mean - after all, what do you want to actually *do* with your life?
it is possible.. first things first.... if you didnt pass your maths, science, english GCSE paper... i suggest you retake them 1st!!! Afta that you have more options that you do now.. You will be eligible for an Advanced Apprenticeship where you can gain up to Level 3 NVQ quicker than collage it also more enjoyable and pratical + your geting payed. You can also get into Uni with these qualifications
Altho if you dont want to retake your GCSE you can still get a standard apprenticeship!! Such as plumping, contruction work etc.
Altho if you dont want to retake your GCSE you can still get a standard apprenticeship!! Such as plumping, contruction work etc.
Thanks for the advice.
I'd like to note that I have passed my GCSEs.
As for what I want to do with my life, I haven't got a huge ambition any more. I would just like to travel, maybe have a go at teaching english at a foreign language, and a 'not bad' income, so I can splash out on expensive stuff once and a while.
I'd like to note that I have passed my GCSEs.
As for what I want to do with my life, I haven't got a huge ambition any more. I would just like to travel, maybe have a go at teaching english at a foreign language, and a 'not bad' income, so I can splash out on expensive stuff once and a while.
If i was you what I would try to do is just get any job at first just like in a shop or supermarket just so you can get something sorted out yo;ll be able to get one tommorow if your not picky. Then like maybe get your flat sorted out as a proper place to live, start looking around to see if you can do night classes etc. You can actually live on quite a small amount of money if your willing to scrimp and save. Also that way your not worrying all the time and even if you dont do A levels you can start applying to jobs that you want to do well in and not be constantly broke while doing so.
It seems like you're not happy with how things are going but only YOU can change it!
Just choose the absolute ideal of who you want to be, and how you want your life to be, and then to strive endlessly for that goal, enjoying every experience along the way.
Just choose the absolute ideal of who you want to be, and how you want your life to be, and then to strive endlessly for that goal, enjoying every experience along the way.
Sorry, don't agree with ADHD.
I think it only exists so that those damn Chemists can make their mansion payments.
Anyway, you quit your AS - that'll look bad, shows lack of commitment. But it won't look too bad now, because the current climate favours vocation. Go and get yourself a job.
The whole "I can't be arsed" is a teenage thing, and I'm lazy too, so I know what you mean, but it won't last forever.
Ultimately, you want to go to Uni. I wouldn't advise it later in life, but you don't have much choice now. Why not do evening school or a part-time course? Or even better, an apprenticeship. You'd still get the qualification.
Good luck.
I think it only exists so that those damn Chemists can make their mansion payments.
Anyway, you quit your AS - that'll look bad, shows lack of commitment. But it won't look too bad now, because the current climate favours vocation. Go and get yourself a job.
The whole "I can't be arsed" is a teenage thing, and I'm lazy too, so I know what you mean, but it won't last forever.
Ultimately, you want to go to Uni. I wouldn't advise it later in life, but you don't have much choice now. Why not do evening school or a part-time course? Or even better, an apprenticeship. You'd still get the qualification.
Good luck.
It may seem like you cannot escape from this state of mind at the moment, but it is entirely possible to get to where you want to be.
For starters, the easiest solution is to get a job. It may not seem it, but what comes hand in hand with a job is a social life and sense of well being and motivation.
Get your parents to give you a helping hand at first, if you have no money ask them if they could buy you some smart clothes and then tell them you could repay them back. Smarten up, freshen up and start looking on their connection/newspapers for a job. I know the first jobs may not appeal to you, but it's money. Beggars cannot be choosers. I have a job which isn't fascinating at all, but during the holidays it gives me a good income, gets me out of the house, lets me meet new people every day and gives me a sense of confidence and self worth. May I add, this is a run of the mill call centre job!
Once you have a job you can start saving a little, and spending the rest on the flat or just on yourself and getting hobbies. The people you meet at work are bound to talk to you and offer you to go out to places? You can change your life, but you must want to change it enough for it to change. It is a vicious circle, and it will be hard to break, but do it. From reading your posts, you seem quite articulate, you can communicate, you can spell, and you don't seem like a total village idiot! The people at my work are stupid yet they are on 250 pounds a week, which is, more than benefits isn't it? It's not hardcore money but you could find something like this.
I think you are programming your mind to believe you can't do something. You say you cannot live with family, but you are using their connection, you are with them now, so can't you maybe try to move back in? If you get a job, you won't be around them 24/7 anyway.
As for A Levels, yes they aren't for everybody. Maybe start enrolling in evening classes?
I'm sorry to be blunt, but I think you are just being lazy and unmotivated and you need to break out of the cycle otherwise your future will be bleak. Maybe you are depressed, I think you need to seek help. I just think if you started to take pride in your appearance then confidence would be synonymous and then you would gain esteem and self worth and want to work or not want to live onbenefits. At your age, the world is your oyster, just because you did not do it the 'conventional' way does not mean you have to be unsuccessful. A lot of people succeed without A Levels, but they also have motivation to succeed, and this is what you need.
So in short, buckle up, face up, freshen up, get some exercise it makes you happy, get out of bed in the morning and start looking for a job. You have GCSEs that's enough + work your way up the ladder. Once you get some money behind you, get out of the hell hole of a flat, do some travelling and gain a love of the world before you!
For starters, the easiest solution is to get a job. It may not seem it, but what comes hand in hand with a job is a social life and sense of well being and motivation.
Get your parents to give you a helping hand at first, if you have no money ask them if they could buy you some smart clothes and then tell them you could repay them back. Smarten up, freshen up and start looking on their connection/newspapers for a job. I know the first jobs may not appeal to you, but it's money. Beggars cannot be choosers. I have a job which isn't fascinating at all, but during the holidays it gives me a good income, gets me out of the house, lets me meet new people every day and gives me a sense of confidence and self worth. May I add, this is a run of the mill call centre job!
Once you have a job you can start saving a little, and spending the rest on the flat or just on yourself and getting hobbies. The people you meet at work are bound to talk to you and offer you to go out to places? You can change your life, but you must want to change it enough for it to change. It is a vicious circle, and it will be hard to break, but do it. From reading your posts, you seem quite articulate, you can communicate, you can spell, and you don't seem like a total village idiot! The people at my work are stupid yet they are on 250 pounds a week, which is, more than benefits isn't it?
It's not hardcore money but you could find something like this.I think you are programming your mind to believe you can't do something. You say you cannot live with family, but you are using their connection, you are with them now, so can't you maybe try to move back in? If you get a job, you won't be around them 24/7 anyway.
As for A Levels, yes they aren't for everybody. Maybe start enrolling in evening classes?
I'm sorry to be blunt, but I think you are just being lazy and unmotivated and you need to break out of the cycle otherwise your future will be bleak. Maybe you are depressed, I think you need to seek help. I just think if you started to take pride in your appearance then confidence would be synonymous and then you would gain esteem and self worth and want to work or not want to live onbenefits. At your age, the world is your oyster, just because you did not do it the 'conventional' way does not mean you have to be unsuccessful. A lot of people succeed without A Levels, but they also have motivation to succeed, and this is what you need.
So in short, buckle up, face up, freshen up, get some exercise it makes you happy, get out of bed in the morning and start looking for a job. You have GCSEs that's enough + work your way up the ladder. Once you get some money behind you, get out of the hell hole of a flat, do some travelling and gain a love of the world before you!
Uh, salad fingers, it sounds more like MS than 'I can't be arsed!'
Nahhh it doesn't..
Bitmap
I'm using my dad's computer. Not that it's really THAT relevant.
I can't live with parents/family, which is why I'm in a council flat in the first place.
I can't live with parents/family, which is why I'm in a council flat in the first place.
Ex
plain.
Nice advice here. Thanks, I especially like the fact that you don't get sugary coated responses on Student Room, which is why I came here in the first place =D
Girl Anachronism, fair enough that you don't "agree" with ADHD, but the symptoms seem to click in place and SPECIFICALLY match everything I'm going through. Forget the ADHD label, since there is help for those exact symptoms, then I will seek it. Sure, everyone will say "all teenagers are lazy and can't be bothered", but in my situation, it's really intense and frequent, and affects EVERYTHING I do.
My friends who did crap for AS are suddenly able to get into "I'm going to shut up and do my work and achieve well mode", which is something very difficult for me. It's hard to understand unless you're me.
On the other hand, I agree, if I didn't suffer from the symptoms of ADHD, I would laugh at the disorder and think "LOL THEY HAVE A DISORDER FOR EVERYTHING". But yeah, it's been difficult.
Also, I'm not living at home, because my mum suffers from 'mental health', and I have NO family whatsoever. NONE, except my mum. Which is difficult for her. I can't expect her to support me either because she's very poor.
Girl Anachronism, fair enough that you don't "agree" with ADHD, but the symptoms seem to click in place and SPECIFICALLY match everything I'm going through. Forget the ADHD label, since there is help for those exact symptoms, then I will seek it. Sure, everyone will say "all teenagers are lazy and can't be bothered", but in my situation, it's really intense and frequent, and affects EVERYTHING I do.
My friends who did crap for AS are suddenly able to get into "I'm going to shut up and do my work and achieve well mode", which is something very difficult for me. It's hard to understand unless you're me.
On the other hand, I agree, if I didn't suffer from the symptoms of ADHD, I would laugh at the disorder and think "LOL THEY HAVE A DISORDER FOR EVERYTHING". But yeah, it's been difficult.
Also, I'm not living at home, because my mum suffers from 'mental health', and I have NO family whatsoever. NONE, except my mum. Which is difficult for her. I can't expect her to support me either because she's very poor.
Bitmap
Also, I'm not living at home, because my mum suffers from 'mental health'
A lack of it, I assume.
Bitmap
and I have NO family whatsoever. NONE, except my mum.
Err:
Bitmap
I'm using my dad's computer. Not that it's really THAT relevant.
I can't live with parents/family, which is why I'm in a council flat in the first place.
I can't live with parents/family, which is why I'm in a council flat in the first place.
That clarified absolutely nothing.
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