Moving in with boyfriend whilst in uni? Watch

Kahlira
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My boyfiend is a year above me in college. (We started the same year, I dropped out and I'm restarting this year). So I am a year behind him, but we are the same age.

Right now, he is looking at universities and we've discussed it and we are going to chose a university we both like and we both want to go to so we don't have to be miles away from each other. I know you shouldn't pick a university based on who is there, i.e. because my boyfriend will be there, but it's my choice to go there and so in theory, I'm picking the university because I want to go. And if they have a good history department (or law depending on what I chose to do), then I'm all for it.

So, my boyfriend will be in his second year by the time I get there. When chosing accomodations and such, can I chose to live with my boyfriend instead of going into student halls or shared housing. Is there the third option to live in some form of student housing with a boyfriend/partner?

I have heard of older aged university students being able to get student housing (lower rent etc) for them to live with their families (i.e. spouse/kids). So I wondered if this was possible for couples. I read it on one uni's website but I forgot what uni and yeah.

Thanks for any help.
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b0x3s
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Wow y'all are both stupid. Are you going to London Met or University of East London?
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joker12345
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You could find a place and rent it together, yes.
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username941859
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You could do but part of the uni experience is being in halls which is your primary way to meet people. You'll seriously be socially limiting yourself
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Kahlira
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(Original post by b0x3s)
Wow y'all are both stupid. Are you going to London Met or University of East London?
Why are we stupid? And we aren't going to either of those.


(Original post by Calllu-m)
You could do but part of the uni experience is being in halls which is your primary way to meet people. You'll seriously be socially limiting yourself
Neither of us are social people, however, we will both be able to find friends. We will have classes, I plan on joining clubs and doing things away from my boyfriend. We both understand that making friends and meeting people is part of the university experience, he will be in student halls for the first year anyway so he'll have plenty of time and I will make it so I can make friends etc. It's not hard to make friends in class, you don't have to live with people to become their friends. Otherwise, we'd all be screwed in school and college.
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username941859
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(Original post by Kahlira)
Why are we stupid? And we aren't going to either of those.




Neither of us are social people, however, we will both be able to find friends. We will have classes, I plan on joining clubs and doing things away from my boyfriend. We both understand that making friends and meeting people is part of the university experience, he will be in student halls for the first year anyway so he'll have plenty of time and I will make it so I can make friends etc. It's not hard to make friends in class, you don't have to live with people to become their friends. Otherwise, we'd all be screwed in school and college.
Trust me, as someone who's at university, it's much easier to make friends through halls. Everyone I'm sharing a flat with next year I was in halls with. You're speaking as someone with no university experience. What if you break up a week into your first year? What then. You're screwed. Just go into halls first year, and see how the year goes, and then decide if you want to live with him.
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TurboCretin
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(Original post by Calllu-m)
You could do but part of the uni experience is being in halls which is your primary way to meet people. You'll seriously be socially limiting yourself
Disagree with this. My halls sucked so I made friends at other people's halls instead. Nothing to stop OP from doing that.
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JD95
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Some halls offer double rooms actually, with a double bed obviously as well.

Your best bet might be shared housing though.


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morl92
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OP don't be naive and stupid. You WILL regret the decision you're about to make I can assure you.
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JD95
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She probably will, everyone I know that moved in with their other half split up in that year, but it's her decision to make.


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Kahlira
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(Original post by Calllu-m)
Trust me, as someone who's at university, it's much easier to make friends through halls. Everyone I'm sharing a flat with next year I was in halls with. You're speaking as someone with no university experience. What if you break up a week into your first year? What then. You're screwed. Just go into halls first year, and see how the year goes, and then decide if you want to live with him.
Okay, first of all. We aren't going to split up. I know you'll think we have that typical relationship, but it's more than that and it's not up to anyone on these forums to say whether we might break up or not, so don't go there. Secondly, I will be able to make friends. It's university. I don't have to live with someone to make friends with them, I'll most likely end up hating them instead. That is how I am. I know I don't have experience in university, instead I have my own experience of making friends and how I make friends.

Edit: I also know for a fact, if I stay in halls, I am much less likely to make friends. I am the type of girl to stay in her room all day and work, not go out and into the lounge area or cafe or whatever to see people. I am not a social person and will most likely only make a couple of friends in uni, not looking for a group of friends. That and I'd much rather make friends with people I can talk to about my classes and understand what I am on about, rather than have a friend doing a math degree and also have nothing in common. (Not saying I wouldn't want to have a friend doing a math degree - nothing against math - but I would have much less to talk about with said friend and I'm not good at conversing with people). So yeah. If I want a more diverse friend group, I am pretty sure my boyfriend will have made friends I can say the odd hi to and have the one off conversation. Other than that, I'm fine.


(Original post by morl92)
OP don't be naive and stupid. You WILL regret the decision you're about to make I can assure you.
I'm not naive. I'm not stupid. You're post is really helpful. Please don't post on someone thread saying they are going to regret a decision I have pretty much already made. I wasn't asking ANY OF YOU if this was what I should do, I was asking your advice on how to go about it? What are universities procedures, what universities offer this type of thing. NOT whether I should do it or not. Since I know for a fact, I am going to be living with my boyfriend in the next couple of years.


(Original post by JD95)
She probably will, everyone I know that moved in with their other half split up in that year, but it's her decision to make.


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Thank you. It is my decision to make. It is not, however, your business to contemplate whether I will split up with my boyfriend or not in that year. So thank you, but no thank you.



I am asking you all to give advice on what university procedure is, how to go about it and whether or not universities offer the specific student housing for couples. Not whether me and my boyfriend will stay together or whether it's a good idea, or whether I will make friends or not. Those are discussions to have with my boyfriend, not with strangers I have never met and who do not know me. My and my boyfriend will discuss the possibility of us breaking up and social life and all that not so important stuff right now, but what I do need right now, is to know if this is actually a possibilty - i.e. do universities offer student housing for couples only.

TL;DR: You don't know me, you don't know our relationship. Please only give advice on the question asked (do universities offer student housing for couples only?). Anything else from now will be ignored since it's completely irrelevant and therefore rude. Thank you.
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username1150116
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Please think this through before you decide. I know it may seem like you and your boyfriend will be together forever, and since I don't know you both I can't make judgement, but please. I was in the same situation last year and chose to go to the same university and live with my boyfriend, we were getting on great, together for 18 months already, thought I saw a future with him. It was a disaster! We broke up in the first term and had to live with one another for the rest of the year.

I know that doesn't mean it'll happen to you, but just please entertain the possibility and at least make sure you have an escape route if it goes awry. I just don't want what happened to me, happen to anyone else. Cause it sucks :P

As for your main question, you could phone the university accommodations and ask? I'm sure it will vary from place to place. You and your boyfriend could find a flat independent from student accommodation depending on the location of your university.

Good luck!
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Kahlira
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(Original post by seyrose)
Please think this through before you decide. I know it may seem like you and your boyfriend will be together forever, and since I don't know you both I can't make judgement, but please. I was in the same situation last year and chose to go to the same university and live with my boyfriend, we were getting on great, together for 18 months already, thought I saw a future with him. It was a disaster! We broke up in the first term and had to live with one another for the rest of the year.

I know that doesn't mean it'll happen to you, but just please entertain the possibility and at least make sure you have an escape route if it goes awry. I just don't want what happened to me, happen to anyone else. Cause it sucks :P

As for your main question, you could phone the university accommodations and ask? I'm sure it will vary from place to place. You and your boyfriend could find a flat independent from student accommodation depending on the location of your university.

Good luck!
Thank you, I appreciate your reply. My and my boyfriend will be talking about all the possibilities - i.e. breaking up, what we would do if we did etc. So, we can discuss that and to be honest, that is for us to talk about.

I am most likely going to have to ring the universities I apply to and ask other questions in regards to my applications and such, and so will my boyfriend. So I'm sure we will find the time to ask about student housing.

I was hoping someone here would know of some universities that offered this? Also, is it possible to get rent and such cheaper (like in student housing) when you don't go through university type things to get the student housing? Rent in places like London are quite expensive which is why we hoped we could get student housing, which would make it a little bit cheaper (obviously not cheap cheap but a little less expensive).
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