Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
I don't know if this is social anxiety or not but when the teachers ask me questions at school i go bright red, get really sweaty, my heart beats much faster and I get butterflies and it's really embarrassing. I know it sounds really stupid But it's not just that its in lots of situations like in group discussions and when people ask me to read Out I basically have panic attacks Etc i just hate speaking out
loud. I can talk perfectly fine to my friends when it's just me and them. It's not like I get bullied or anything either so
im just not sure why it happens, I've always been shy and went red but it just seems to be getting worse.
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Stony Owner
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#2
Report 6 years ago
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Unfortunately as we grow up there can a lot of humiliation in the class room. Slow readers etc are sometimes humiliated for example.

There's no need to label this "social anxiety"; if you start defining yourself as somebody who "has" "social anxiety" then will that make it better or worse? Worse probably as you will be identifying with the anxiety heavily and making it a part of the way you see yourself. Which isn't very useful.

See if you can experience it and really just feel the sensations in your body when it happens. Can you accept everything that happens in each moment? I.e. the fear comes and you just feel it?

Instead of thinking "OMG omg omg this is terrible" etc etc etc, just experience what you experience. Instead of trying to get rid of the fear just experience it in that moment and really feel it. Embrace it, notice it, observe it, witness it, experience it WITHOUT freaking out or judging yourself.

An example of an unnecessary judgement is: "This is really embarrassing!" Actually this is NOT helpful because a) nothing is inherently embarrassing (you decide whether or not something is embarrassing - yes you have that power!) and b) it's just sucking you into a 'reality tunnel' where you're increasingly fearful etc.

Just literally experience it with all your being and notice it. And notice it pass!

So that's what you can do if it comes. You could say things to yourself like "Just sensations, just vibrations" etc. So instead of relating and identifying with the feelings and sensations, you are now just noticing them. "Ah, there they are. And that's ok." And then moving on.

More long term, it might be worth exploring underlying beliefs here. I.e. You MIGHT have a belief like "If I get a word wrong everybody will laugh and that will be embarrassing". What's the truth behind this? "Get a word wrong" - how specifically? Does stuttering on the start of a word count as 'getting it wrong'? Does saying the wrong word count as 'getting it wrong'? "Everybody will laugh" - will EVERYBODY laugh? Definitely? How do you know this? Have you ever got a word wrong and people haven't laughed for example? Can you really predict the future like that? (Answer: no you can't.) And why does it matter if they laugh? So what? Does that say anything about YOU? No...just says something about them. "That will be embarrassing" - well remember you're the one that decides whether or not something is embarrassing so how about choosing not to see it that way?

Remember - you can experience fear now and again and that's fine. No reason to beat yourself up about it. AT ALL. Just experience it, notice it without labelling yourself. It's ok to experience fear. Almost everybody does from time to time and there's no point beating yourself up about it. Instead just notice it in each moment as it comes, observe it without getting sucked into it. And see if you can work on underlying beliefs in the long term.

All the best with this.
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Johnp1144
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#3
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Thank you that has been really helpful 👍👍
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shawn_o1
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#4
Report 6 years ago
#4
probably in no position to bump this thread... but I just got owned by my own social anxiety. I was ordering food in a canteen. When the "dinner lady" (sorry, this was at a university, I'm not aware of the more proper term for such a person) asked me "Would you like rice with this?" I just blatantly nodded. I didn't know until much later that the food I thought I ordered was actually for the person behind me in the queue... and she didn't want rice with her chicken chop (I had actually ordered a beef steak). Fortunately the girl handled the situation very well without giving a **** about me (by just politely saying "I didn't want the rice, actually, but thanks.") THEN my beef steak arrived with the rice.

I don't know what to feel about this except total embarrassment
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Anonymous #2
#5
Report 6 years ago
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(Original post by Stony Owner)
Unfortunately as we grow up there can a lot of humiliation in the class room. Slow readers etc are sometimes humiliated for example.

There's no need to label this "social anxiety"; if you start defining yourself as somebody who "has" "social anxiety" then will that make it better or worse? Worse probably as you will be identifying with the anxiety heavily and making it a part of the way you see yourself. Which isn't very useful.

See if you can experience it and really just feel the sensations in your body when it happens. Can you accept everything that happens in each moment? I.e. the fear comes and you just feel it?

Instead of thinking "OMG omg omg this is terrible" etc etc etc, just experience what you experience. Instead of trying to get rid of the fear just experience it in that moment and really feel it. Embrace it, notice it, observe it, witness it, experience it WITHOUT freaking out or judging yourself.

An example of an unnecessary judgement is: "This is really embarrassing!" Actually this is NOT helpful because a) nothing is inherently embarrassing (you decide whether or not something is embarrassing - yes you have that power!) and b) it's just sucking you into a 'reality tunnel' where you're increasingly fearful etc.

Just literally experience it with all your being and notice it. And notice it pass!

So that's what you can do if it comes. You could say things to yourself like "Just sensations, just vibrations" etc. So instead of relating and identifying with the feelings and sensations, you are now just noticing them. "Ah, there they are. And that's ok." And then moving on.

More long term, it might be worth exploring underlying beliefs here. I.e. You MIGHT have a belief like "If I get a word wrong everybody will laugh and that will be embarrassing". What's the truth behind this? "Get a word wrong" - how specifically? Does stuttering on the start of a word count as 'getting it wrong'? Does saying the wrong word count as 'getting it wrong'? "Everybody will laugh" - will EVERYBODY laugh? Definitely? How do you know this? Have you ever got a word wrong and people haven't laughed for example? Can you really predict the future like that? (Answer: no you can't.) And why does it matter if they laugh? So what? Does that say anything about YOU? No...just says something about them. "That will be embarrassing" - well remember you're the one that decides whether or not something is embarrassing so how about choosing not to see it that way?

Remember - you can experience fear now and again and that's fine. No reason to beat yourself up about it. AT ALL. Just experience it, notice it without labelling yourself. It's ok to experience fear. Almost everybody does from time to time and there's no point beating yourself up about it. Instead just notice it in each moment as it comes, observe it without getting sucked into it. And see if you can work on underlying beliefs in the long term.

All the best with this.
I also have the same problem of judging myself for getting afraid in social situations.Your advice was helpful to me too.
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NightOwl1985
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#6
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My partner is getting CBT. The longer it goes without help the more worse it becomes!

So GP and ask to be sent to Psychology. Make sure you tell the GP the extent. It could be confidence. But I nor anybody can direct towards whether social anxiety disorder or lack of confidence.

As for the teacher.... Instruct them not to ask you questions and you should have a school nurse. So she will or should help with this. Or a guidance teacher were called that during my school days.
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#7
(Original post by NightOwl1985)
My partner is getting CBT. The longer it goes without help the more worse it becomes!

So GP and ask to be sent to Psychology. Make sure you tell the GP the extent. It could be confidence. But I nor anybody can direct towards whether social anxiety disorder or lack of confidence.

As for the teacher.... Instruct them not to ask you questions and you should have a school nurse. So she will or should help with this. Or a guidance teacher were called that during my school days.
Thanks you
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