Going to a boyfriend/girlfriend&#x27;s home for the first time

Hmm.. I dunno. Obv a nice clean house is good, but all that really matters is what your boyfriend/girlfriend is like. Like lala said, if it's their parents house, then it's not like they have any control over decor or whatnot. Houses aren't a good indicator of how nice a person or family is.

Reply 4

OP

Fleece

Hmm.. I dunno. Obv a nice clean house is good, but all that really matters is what your boyfriend/girlfriend is like. Like lala said, if it's their parents house, then it's not like they have any control over decor or whatnot. Houses aren't a good indicator of how nice a person or family is.

Have all your boyfriends lived with their family? I was just wondering, what if he had a really weird Dad or a really weird housemate? Wouldn't you prefer if he was just living with some people you could get on well with too?

Is it better if he's living alone?

Reply 5

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

Have all your boyfriends lived with their family? I was just wondering, what if he had a really weird Dad or a really weird housemate? Wouldn't you prefer if he was just living with some people you could get on well with too?

Is it better if he's living alone?

Er... why are you asking us what your preferences are?

Besides, if you're going out with a guy, you're going out with him for him, not for his house or peers. Defining exactly how you want him to be before you go will lead to disappointment. Don't bother. Just go there with an open mind.

Reply 6

Anonymous

Have all your boyfriends lived with their family? I was just wondering, what if he had a really weird Dad or a really weird housemate? Wouldn't you prefer if he was just living with some people you could get on well with too?

Is it better if he's living alone?

Yeah they've all lived with family, apart from latest one where he lived at uni in a house too with housemates. The housemates were very odd, but it's not like i partic had to talk to them - just made it a bit awkward when i went downstairs to use the toilet and they were in the lounge or whatnot.

At the end of the day, you're not going out with his Dad or his housemates - it's not like you're going to be hanging with them all the time so just deal with it.

Reply 7

Helenia

20

Well, as a uni student, I don't really know anyone who doesn't basically live with their parents in the holidays; I only know a few people who have places of their own. And of course, we are in halls for all three years so there are no dodgy student houses to worry about!

For me, in halls, I wouldn't like it if their room was a total tip. It doesn't have to be perfectly tidy, but being able to see the floor/bed is a bonus. Having leftover food/plates around is a turn off. As for room/flatmates, you kind of have to put up with them. It's better if you get on with them, obviously, but otherwise you just avoid them.

As for meeting the parents in the holiday, I don't think I'd mind where they lived. Knowing the guy himself probably gives some indication as to what the parents are like in many cases (though siblings can always be nasty surprises!) As for what the house is like, I obviously couldn't judge someone on their family's financial position. I'd be put off if the place was really dirty or messy again, but it's quite possibly not his fault if he doesn't live there full time.

I don't think you can realistically expect anyone our age to live on their own, so it wouldn't be a bad point, unless they had really horrible flatmates but didn't see their bad sides :wink:

I understand your concern though, I was quite worried when my boyfriend first came to my house, as his is considerably nicer and better located than mine. I'd already apologised for it about 10 times before we arrived, but as it was he really didn't care.

Reply 8

kabi

i agree with fleece, remember why your with them your dating them not their family
be yourself and take it in your stride

Reply 9

OP

So he was living with some housemates who were students too? Didn't he get on with them?

What if you found out he was living with a group of gypsies or some weird pervy guy in his 60s? That wouldn't put you off the guy because he lives with such weird people?

Reply 10

Anonymous

So he was living with some housemates who were students too? Didn't he get on with them?

What if you found out he was living with a group of gypsies or some weird pervy guy in his 60s? That wouldn't put you off the guy because he lives with such weird people?

Yes they were students too, no he didnt get on with them.

If he was living with gypsies, then I would assume he was a gypsy too, and being his girlfriend I would hope you'd know that about him before, so that would be no big shock.

As for living with a "weird pervy guy in his 60s" - how likely is that really? Unless your boyfriend is 60?

Reply 11

OP

Fleece

As for living with a "weird pervy guy in his 60s" - how likely is that really? Unless your boyfriend is 60?

60 might be pushing it but a 20 year old could be living with some 40 year olds for example. That's not too unlikely, they could be colleagues. Seriously how much does it matter?

Look at Notting Hill and Hugh Grant's character's housemate...

Reply 12

Well if he's living with 40 year olds so what?

Bottom line is a) stop being so superficial b) you're in a relationship with your bf/gf not their housemates/family

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

I can never invite people to my house cos it's a small flat so not a lotta space to hang out. It's ****e as well (not exactly rolling in money). Hate it and I'm really conscious of how it compares to my friends' houses.

Reply 14

OP

Fleece

Well if he's living with 40 year olds so what?

Bottom line is a) stop being so superficial b) you're in a relationship with your bf/gf not their housemates/family

But you can worry about what your boyfriend/girlfriend might think... without necessarily caring about your boyfriend/girlfriend's situation.

Reply 15