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Boyfriend/girlfriend and friends?

Do you keep your social life (i.e. friends and stuff) and your boyfriend/girlfriend separate?
Or do you make sure that you hang out with your boyfriend/girlfriend with his/her friends or your friends at the same time? I've noticed totally different attitudes.
Some people seem to see their boyfriend/girlfriend and their friends totally separately maybe because they think that they wouldn't get on together and are happy just being alone with their boyfriend/girlfriend whereas some people prefer to be with their friends or his/her friends a lot of the time.

What do you prefer?

Reply 1

Plodman

1

I kept mine separate as when i did have a girlfriend, my friends didn't get on with her... but that's because my girlfriend was from a completely different group...If you have a girlfriend that's friends with your friends, then i guess it's probably easier to merge the two a bit more..

Reply 2

Ross_j

9

in the past i've kept it seperate as my serious relationships have all been with older girls and it just wouldn't have worked. in future i'd like there to be more of a mix, so my girlfriend would know my friends and we'd go out together, but also time i'd only see my friends or my girlfriend.

Reply 3

kabi

i decided to merge my groups it kinda got to the point that when i was invited with my mates somewhere my gf automatically got invited to, however my gf decided not to do that and if anything made life more confusing for her

FREINDS or boyFRIENDS/girlFRIENDS

notice a similarity they are all friends!

Reply 4

steviejay

I've always kept them separate in the past, but am engaged at the moment, so I kinda have to have a bit of a mixture between seeing them together and separately.

I think it all depends on the type of girlfriend/boyfriend, and how your friends are too...

Reply 5

Sazarina88

11

In my last relationship, I kept them fairly separate - I was happy with this, so were my boyfriend and most of my friends. You need to find what works best for everyone. Sometimes you won't please everybody but you can most likely find a happy compromise.

Reply 6

Helenia

20

I do a bit of both - we see each other alone, but we also hang out/go out with each others' friends. I get on quite well with most of his friends, and vice versa. Our two friendship groups don't mix though, just because they're in different colleges and different years, so there's no real reason to.

I think it's better this way as it means we take each other away from our friends less than we would if we always had to be exclusive, and we still get to see each other lots.

Reply 7

wendizzle22

1

My friends don't see my bf very often, but I see his friends more. I suppose it's because the majority of the time I see my friends is on a weekday daytime at uni or on nights out to raves or dance clubs - my bf works in the day which also limits what nights he can go out, and doesn't like raves. So, when he sees his mates it's usually on a day off or night out to a rock club, or a quiet night of DVDs, so I'll be more likely to be with him.

Reply 8

theonehitwonder

2

From people I've spoken to and observed, they seem to keep things mostly separate.

A bit related - do you think your partner would care that you don't have many friends at all?

Reply 9

prettyblueeyes

13

We mix it! My boyfriend's best friend is my best friend's boyfriend (confusingly worded!) so we see eachother as a foursome sometimes. As a group of girls, we sort of used to mix with this group of boys (who are my boyfriends group of friends) occasionally, used to go out for a drink with them in the same places etc, so we do know eachother and they all get on well. If I'm doing something with my friends, my boyfriend isn't automatically invited though, and neither am I when he's invited with his friends - we both appreciate we need our own girl/boy time with our own friends as our own small group. We do often go out with eachother and I know and get on with most of his friends and he gets on well with mine so it's nice. Apart from one friend who doesn't like him (her problem) so I try to keep them separate but equal which is difficult especially when said friend makes things difficult. We spend a lot of time alone too and go out just us, but it's nice that we can both go out with eachother and not feel torn between friends and boy/girlfriend.
It's tough trying to balance boyfriend, friends, work/school, alone time and family though!

Reply 10

IndieGirl

3

Pretty much ditto to 'prettyblueeyes'

I see a lot of my boyfriend's friends, and I kind of count them as my friends too now after 18months. My own friends have always been a bit harder to pin down since we went our separate ways after school, so I normally just see them without my boyf, he has however spent time here and there in a group with my friends and I. I'd like it if my frinds were easier to organise into meeting and spend more time with everyone, and I'd really miss his friends if we were to break up.

Reply 11

cinder

10

I knew my boyfriend's friends before I knew him, one of his friends is my bestfriend. I like it that way it works well with us both but I understand that he needs time with them without me and vice versa. It just gets a little nasty when I'm invited out before him or one of his friends decides to invite me before he has the chance.

My bf avoids most of my close girlie friends...they are indeed very very girlie and he really doesn't like them. I'm fine with that because they don't like him either.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Ross_j

in the past i've kept it seperate as my serious relationships have all been with older girls and it just wouldn't have worked. in future i'd like there to be more of a mix, so my girlfriend would know my friends and we'd go out together, but also time i'd only see my friends or my girlfriend.

That's exactly my experience. I end up liking girls who are usually very different to me: totally different age (either a few years older or a few years younger), sometimes totally different religion and nationality and in general, just very different so hanging out with the girlfriend and my friends (who are more like me) was doable and never bothered me but I was always a bit bothered by the idea that my friends and girlfriend wouldn't get on.

Then again, that can be good. Knowing some of my "mates", they'd probably try and steal her off me :biggrin:

Reply 13

foxiroxi

10

I don't like the people in the same "group" as my boyfriend...however most of them he doesn't like and I've only seen them once!

I just know he wouldn't get on with my friends.There's complicated history between me and my best friend so he feels threatend by her and some of my friends he just won't like due to the type of person they are.

He does however get on with afew friends with whom he has something in common with...I don't like that much as I once was sitting in the middle of a conversation about vertinary procedures and the drugs used which went straight over my head!!!! :biggrin:

Though this I have decided to keep them all seperate and it works well.

Doesn't help that me and my boyfriend have so little time to spend togther anyway we like to spend it alone! :smile:

Reply 14

.:fluff:.

1

We all hang out together. Before me and my boyfriend got together we were both in the same group of friends and we were really good friends before we took it any further so if we go out anywhere it's usually with the same group of people, although we do both have friends outside of the group too

Boyfriend/girlfriend and friends?

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