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His family are racist? Watch

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    I'm a girl, I have been with my boyfriend for a couple of months. We are both 19.

    He is mixed raced, his Mother is black (Jamaican) and his Dad is Brazilian but he doesn't have a relationship with his Dad. I have no issue with him or his family being black or mixed raced or whatever..

    I have an issue with the fact that I went through his phone the other day, his Brother had text him, the conversation went like this..

    Brother - what are you upto?
    Him - sat in the park with ****, sunbathing
    Brother - tell her to keep out of the sun, white tingggg
    Brother- then sent a picture of a white cat, hiding under a chair...

    His Grandad told me I had a 'flat back' because I am white at some family BBQ I went to, it made me feel humiliated.

    I have spoken to him about this and he said that it is just a joke and they are only messing around.

    It's making me feel really uncomfortable if I go to his house or if I see his Brother or mum, I feel like a joke and it's making me sad, I've told him all of this and he still seems to think I need to lighten up...

    What do I do?
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    If they do it again, then tell him.
    That's what I would do.
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    I think you should let him know that you feel uncomfortable about the remarks if they do it again after all he's your boyfriend and he knows how to approach his family about it.

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    I think they may have meant it as a joke but if you feel offended get your boyfriend to have a chat with his family
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    They mean them as jokes and probably aren't trying to upset you, that doesn't mean you need to tolerate these comments, they are disrespectful.

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    Make slightly racist jokes back. If they laugh or respond positively, they probably think you're going to marry this guy. :yay:If not, then apologise and explain that they make you feel the same way when they do it to you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a girl, I have been with my boyfriend for a couple of months. We are both 19.

    He is mixed raced, his Mother is black (Jamaican) and his Dad is Brazilian but he doesn't have a relationship with his Dad. I have no issue with him or his family being black or mixed raced or whatever..

    I have an issue with the fact that I went through his phone the other day, his Brother had text him, the conversation went like this..

    Brother - what are you upto?
    Him - sat in the park with ****, sunbathing
    Brother - tell her to keep out of the sun, white tingggg
    Brother- then sent a picture of a white cat, hiding under a chair...

    His Grandad told me I had a 'flat back' because I am white at some family BBQ I went to, it made me feel humiliated.

    I have spoken to him about this and he said that it is just a joke and they are only messing around.

    It's making me feel really uncomfortable if I go to his house or if I see his Brother or mum, I feel like a joke and it's making me sad, I've told him all of this and he still seems to think I need to lighten up...

    What do I do?
    Well why are you dating a racist for? He'll only use you and dump you. White women in minority communities aren't taken seriously, some are viewed as a joke. They don't view you seriously at all. I've seen this plenty of times. So you'll learn the hard way.

    I had a friend who went on a blind a Pakistani then when she blew him off he started sending her racist abuse.

    Your brother and his friend also talk like emotionally immature hood rats, I know what those type are like, no class, pempted up, thinking no one can tell them nothing.
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    (Original post by CryptoidAlien)
    Well why are you dating a racist for? He'll only use you and dump you. White women in minority communities aren't taken seriously, some are viewed as a joke. They don't view you seriously at all. I've seen this plenty of times. So you'll learn the hard way.

    I had a friend who went on a blind a Pakistani then when she blew him off he started sending her racist abuse.

    Your brother and his friend also talk like emotionally immature hood rats, I know what those type are like, no class, pempted up, thinking no one can tell them nothing.
    Chill out, you never even met them. O_o
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    (Original post by Dani California)
    Chill out, you never even met them. O_o
    I know what they've said and that's enough.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      His Grandad told me I had a 'flat back' because I am white
      Are you sure that's what he meant or did you just infer it?
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      (Original post by CryptoidAlien)
      Well why are you dating a racist for? He'll only use you and dump you. White women in minority communities aren't taken seriously, some are viewed as a joke. They don't view you seriously at all. I've seen this plenty of times. So you'll learn the hard way.

      I had a friend who went on a blind a Pakistani then when she blew him off he started sending her racist abuse.

      Your brother and his friend also talk like emotionally immature hood rats, I know what those type are like, no class, pempted up, thinking no one can tell them nothing.
      You seem upset.
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      (Original post by CryptoidAlien)
      I know what they've said and that's enough.
      It does just sound like good natured ribbing. I'm half Italian, I've had every racist stereotype thrown at me, but it's generally just joking. But if it is serious, I totally agree with you.
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      It's black people humour, they're not really racists but if it bothers you just tell your boyfriend don't mouth off to his family, black families (especially Jamaicans) don't put up with disrespectful people.
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      Why were you going through his phone that's the real question here?
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      (Original post by Dani California)
      It does just sound like good natured ribbing. I'm half Italian, I've had every racist stereotype thrown at me, but it's generally just joking. But if it is serious, I totally agree with you.
      I'm half Spanish and I get racist jokes and they're offensive. If you want to take it lightly fair enough. If roles were reversed it would be a different story...
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      (Original post by CryptoidAlien)
      I'm half Spanish and I get racist jokes and they're offensive. If you want to take it lightly fair enough. If roles were reversed it would be a different story...
      Don't want you to think I take racism lightly, I just think that when it's between friends, it's not serious, they don't actually dislike you because of your race. What do you mean by role reversal? You mean if it was us saying it to them?
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      (Original post by Dani California)
      Don't want you to think I take racism lightly, I just think that when it's between friends, it's not serious, they don't actually dislike you because of your race. What do you mean by role reversal? You mean if it was us saying it to them?
      do racist people not make racist jokes then? his family may not be racist at all I don't know, but just by the comments it would seem so and by the language they're using in silly circumstances...Well lets say her grandad said to her bf 'you got shotgun nostrils because your black' etc. it probs would have been viewed diff. If somebody says 'oh, spanish people are angry/have hot tempers' nobody says nothing..if they said 'muslims have angry tempers' everybody would be busting into flames in my opinion..
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      It's clearly a joke.

      You must be fun at parties...
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      (Original post by CryptoidAlien)
      do racist people not make racist jokes then? his family may not be racist at all I don't know, but just by the comments it would seem so and by the language they're using in silly circumstances...Well lets say her grandad said to her bf 'you got shotgun nostrils because your black' etc. it probs would have been viewed diff. If somebody says 'oh, spanish people are angry/have hot tempers' nobody says nothing..if they said 'muslims have angry tempers' everybody would be busting into flames in my opinion..
      Yes, but non-racist people may also mess with their friends, or in this case girlfriend. If they're texting her and happy enough to invite her to family events, my guess would be that it's friendly. But I totally agree, when it's reversed it is seen differently. Not fair, no, but I doubt that my friends genuinely think I'm an eccentric pizza chef. :hmmm:
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      (Original post by Dani California)
      Yes, but non-racist people may also mess with their friends, or in this case girlfriend. If they're texting her and happy enough to invite her to family events, my guess would be that it's friendly. But I totally agree, when it's reversed it is seen differently. Not fair, no, but I doubt that my friends genuinely think I'm an eccentric pizza chef. :hmmm:
      It's not friendly when they use ghetto talk. I know those types of people.

      ..Spanish people ..are better chefs
     
     
     
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