Told a friend I like her.....

I tell her I like her.
She says that "For Now (lol For now) that I am one of her closest friends"
Something happens we have a big argument and I stop talking to her for like 4-5days
She texts me complaining about the above
We have a massive heart to heart, basically I tell her all the little things I like about her like her smile etc etc
We start to reminiss of times we've shared.
All seems fine and dandy and we are happy as larry and things take a slight turn getting back to how they were it just felt different.
Since Monday, she has spoken to someone and her replies are less frequent and I don't know what the ****s going on.

I understand she could be confused as to how she feels but I'm getting a bit annoyed at how things have turned out from being amazing to a bit ****ty to great again. So I don't really know whats going on basically, might just give her space again and see what happens, because its all I can do, and just go on with my life, if she comes back great but I'll have to explain to her that I can't be dealing with all this hot cold **** & i'll live my life, if you like me come back great. If not then so be it. I'll try to be friends still but after a while not straight away. (But she literally hated not talking for a few days so I wonder how that will go lol)

dunno Julie, last girl I dated told me I wasn't her type at first.

Has happened to my mates too. Who are now married.

hahaahahahahahah!!

If you actually knew me then this would be laughable. Did I or did I not ask to meet up? Hmmmmm

Have I asked girls out face to face in the past. Yes. So why be a massive douche?

"Pathetic Friendship" My arse. But hey you don't know either of us do you. Was I or was I not the man who put distance between us? Yes yes I was. Was I or was I not, the guy who received a message from her wanting to start talking again. Yes I was. Does this define as chasing or standing firm. I think standing firm is the better option to choose here.

Put her needs above my own? Very much doubt it considering Im going to tell her whats going to happen in that I need closure and to actually hear her say the words that I'm expecting her to say so I can cut her out for a short period of time so I can move on. But I know that she'll come crawling back.

So who is the one trying to move on from it all? Oh right. Me!

Asking to meet up and discuss things after rejection is different to asking her out up front. You have done nothing but act like a friend and when you act like a friend, you get treated like a friend. I don't believe for one second that it's taken you 5/6 years to realize you wanted to go out with her.

Having a 'heart to heart' with her? Are you one of her girl mates? Why would you say to her you 'like her smile'? Do you really think complimenting her like that right after she's rejected you is a good idea? Cos to me that radiates someone who is attached.

Cutting her out for a short time isn't going to achieve anything cos when you start talking to her again, things will go back to the way they are. You don't stop liking someone by spending a month away from them. I guarantee when she gets a boyfriend, you will get jealous and feel worse than you do now. Cut contact and end it now or you'll drive yourself mad. You make not like what I have to say but at the end of the day, I've been in your shoes so know how to get over this.

It does work, if she is already attracted to you.

People want things that they can't get. Same principle applies here.

I have had women right, when I am playing that way , chase me like a rash...until I open up, and they get bored.

I understand that you can grow to like someone but mostly, the mutual attraction is there from the get go before friends become a couple.

That's what happened with me and my flatmate. We like-liked each other almost immediately but we didn't act on it until a few months ago because at that time, we were in relationships.

Oh, those "fall in love later" moments do happen but not as often as friends like-liking each other from the get go.

Well its finished with - I have closure - even if I did get a confusing response about me - I'm trying to get distance and space but whether or not she'll let me and keep contacting me is another matter all together. But I gotta stay strong. It's hard, but I'm sure I'll be able to do this and become a stronger person for it.

Even though we've argued about this on here, have to say you've made the right decision. Fair play. Things will start to feel a whole lot better now. If she keeps contacting you against your word, repeat once 'I've already given you my reasons and need time away to move on from this'. If she continues trying to make contact, best thing to do is to ignore her messages. That way you've made yourself clear. Good luck.

Finally someone who actually agrees with me on the grow to like someone aspect of a relationship. If there is a mutual attraction though to start with its not really a friendship is it as both want more - Id say the growing to like someone would be mutual. You both aren't attracted to start with and you both grow to like the other person after you find out more about them.

But the great thing is, if you remain friends with her, she may have a fit friend to set you up with!

TBH, been in situations like the OP where I after I replace her with an official girlfriend, they start realising what they have lost, and chase me.

I strongly believe that women like guys who are popular with women, and are not needy.

Similarly, last night I was out, got chatting to some bird, some guy messages her, she opens her whatsapp mocking him. "Look at how many messages he has sent me"...She was basically deliberately ignoring him...and was getting a kick out of it, the idea that she was in complete control of the conversation. I didn't say anything, but it makes you think.

The OP tbh was quite needy with this girl, which was an attraction killer. Towards the end he wasn't needy, but by that point the damage was done, she knew he liked him.

Bruh I was never needy imo i never really iniated conversation ever.

But the funny thing is, now I've said no, no more contact for a while she is trying to get "control" of the relationship "back" and my attention.

She goes "Our friendship will never be the same" - The next day "Dont worry our friendship will only be weird for a lil while" (it will go back to how it was) Threatens that it wont be the same (childish) and then the next day is oh dont worry it will go back.

& ever since i said no she been trying her hardest to win me back and reel me back in. hahahahaha!

Like being a lil bitch to me and winding me up all the time (funny how she is nonstop giggling while she does it)

She wants the attention and isnt gonna get it - all of a sudden ive taken control - whereas before she thought she could get what she wanted when she wanted and now thats not gonna happen she is ****ting herself, that I wont talk to her ever again. So is trying to reach out for my attention - which i wont give.

The problem is eventually to get into a relationship with her, you need to be vulnerable and open up.

It's only for so long you can do the ignoring game.

Honestly, you are probably better off finding someone else. There are always other girls out there.