Making it as basic as possible, I was best mates with a gay friend from school. I love him like a friend, but he loves me like a sister.
We went to different universities for one year, and kept in contact and saw each other a few times. But over the year, I've realised that I've changed and have begun to dislike certain qualities...and these qualities seemed to have been attributed to my dear friend. For example, I've grown to find swearing completely unnecessary (he swears to no end, even if I ask him kindly not to), not understand why people choose to get angry at things that don't matter (he does this), and dislike crude and dirty humour (he loves this humour...a lot). To be fair, I used to like the crude jokes, but I feel like now the just make me feel uncomfortable and I find them offensive most of the time (and OTT).
Now coming home, because I hang with him a lot, people rumour that we are dating which isn't true (see above). And also I've felt more distant to him because I've changed...(maybe matured).
All these reasons make me want to move myself away from him more and more, but I find it hard to say no to situations when he wants to hang or do something. And he seems to want to talk to me all the time, to the point where I'm like "yo, don't you have any other friends??". I don't do this to him because I'm more of an introvert (I usually prefer my own company...).
I don't think its healthy for me to be this close to him, because his rage rubs onto me sometimes, and also he can be quite rude and disrespectful to me at times. He's a good friend overall, but these problems seem to outshine the friendship at the moment... probably because I would have expected him to mature at university.
Ahh what do I do? Do I dump him unexpectedly or gradually, or tell him how I feel and make the friendship really awkward???
Am I bad friend, or am I jus watch
- Thread Starter
- 02-07-2014 01:36
- 05-07-2014 18:07
Maybe you should try to think about this from his perspective and then have a nice and honest chat?
But don't think he would stop swearing and stuff because this is his personality.
Based on what you wrote, he really likes you (if he's gay, he might have special feelings to you and you don't know about this) and probably it will hurt him a lot if you will "un-friend" him.
I was in kind of similar situation like your friend but un-friending me is not easy
But those times hurt a lot, more than anything else (nope, I'm not gay :P ), this is why I recommend you having some honest conversation with your friend first. Maybe he will at least try to change a bit.
Honestly, I kind of feel sorry for your friend.