Training to be a teacher, but my boyfriend has mental problems and uses cannabis..

If you are still happy in the actual relationship, stay with him and stick to your word - prepare to leave if he doesn't stop when you qualify.

Sure, you obviously desperately don't want that to happen and want him to stop now so you can reassure yourself everything will work out and be okay, but it doesn't really look like that's going to happen.

If you amicably break up with him he would be a really reckless uncaring boyfriend if he kicked you out in anger, knowing full well you had nowhere else to go. He could at least put you up for a few weeks if he had the money, then you pay him back. That is, if you're unhappy (should never stay in a relationship just because you want to scrounge money off him).

How long til you qualify?

Few things pop to mind:

Why is his weed consumption detrimental to your career?

If you're a good teacher, no one will care about your past behavior, I'm sure (unless very extreme).

He may be psychologically addicted to it - you should get him to seek professional help if you feel that is the case: it could also be that the problems with depression and psychosis (he has symptoms of psychosis?) are circular in that he may use to 'self medicate'.

Do you actually love him (I assume you do after so long) - are there other reasons you are together, such as finance? (no offence meant).

EDIT: What role do the support workers have?

lou_100 has basically said it all!
I don't even know what more I can add to this but ultimately it is his life and if he wants to carry on smoking he will. I understand that you are moving up in the world so to speak but you say he doesn't even believe you when you tell him he is smoking more? In that case it is nearly an impossible task for him to cut down. Plus he has to do it because he wants to rather than you not wanting to be around it.

Is there anyone else you can live with in the time being? (if that is what you want to do). Don't stay in it just because 'you would have no where to go'. If you genuinely can't put up with him anymore then try and see if you can make other arrangements. I understand where the above poster is coming from but it may not end up being an amicable break up and he has no obligation to have you. (Don't think I'm trying to be rude because I'm not)

This does look like something that is important to you so maybe think seriously about this and what would happen if you either stay or go. It seems you are taking your reputation seriously so maybe consider if he is right for you given the circumstances?

Best of luck OP

Have a look at drug abuse charities like talk to frank, counselling seems to work wonders for most things too. Seems evident that he has an addiction so thats what you need to tackle tbh.

I am less worried about the bf than I am about an admitted heavy "weed" smoker whose reputation in her own town is so bad she is thinking of moving should be in charge of our children.

I can see that you are unhappy to let people have a second chance. By your reasoning no one should try to better themselves.

You must be proud. I'm glad you've had the privilege of living a life without mistakes.

Thanks for your comments.

I am happy in the relationship, He feels like I might leave him anyway when I teaching, but I have tried to reassure him that his smoking is the only reason I would consider leaving him. I do love him and I feel that I've supported him, emotionally, as well as financially at different points of our relationship. Now he works part time (partially due to working full time being to stressful for him), while I am only able to work during the holidays.

Yes he does use it to self medicate and I would like him to try and get help for this but if he won't tell his support workers there is not much I can do as I would not like to "betray" him by going behind his back.

It's bad for my career because I don't want people to think I condone it's use. I have seen what it does to people, including other friends and family members and I just don't think it's a good thing. But it's not just him breaking the law, and being stoned, it's also the way that he acts afterwards, this can be depressive or angry, and it's not very predictable. He says it doesn't affect his mental health but of course most people with these illnesses are unable to see when they are becoming unwell.

I couldn't really stay else where, and I don't want to, but I also don't want him to affect my studies. (sometimes he gets upset and I have stayed up all night comforting him- about things that have previously happened in his life). I have two years left at uni.

Also I feel like I should give him every chance as we both came from a similar situation so it would be hypocritical to dump him with out doing so..

Thanks, but as his smoking is a lot less than it was, would this sort of thing still help?

Do you have personal experience of people getting counselling for this sort of problem?

Word of warning..

It's an offence to allow the house to be used for smoking the stuff. So if you're in charge of the house and allow him to smoke and they prove you were aware. Guess what?

Teaching goes directly out the window.

Oh heck. Do not do anything except support this ridiculous woman or you will be "moderated" out of the game.

Word of warning..

It's an offence to allow the house to be used for smoking the stuff. So if you're in charge of the house and allow him to smoke and they prove you were aware. Guess what?

Teaching goes directly out the window.