It has been going like this for quite a while now. Only yesterday, things escalated so bad that I just ended up calling it off there and then, or else I know I would never of said it.
He is a drinker, and has been drinking for the past two years due to his past of his wife's infidelity and being denied access to his children. However, I have had problems as well but again, he doesn't acknowledge them and I am always there to listen to him and be there with open arms, but he tells me to grow up and get over things. He treats me like a child, sometimes telling me to stop acting childish, then trying to get me to do mathematic sums but he knows I struggle with maths and it puts me down so much, but he doesn't realise petty things like that are so hurtful. When he drinks, he finds every fault in me - if i disagree with something, he will shake his head and just say you're so stubborn and defensive and then have those puppy look in his eyes to make you feel sorry for him. Yes, I do empathise with him, but only he can change his life as I have tried and it has backfired on me.
He is depressed about everything, from his job to his daily basis of living and it makes me feel worthless because I think he drinks because of me. He says I make him happy, and that he drinks because of stress and depression.
Only yesterday, we was at the shop and he had already had a drink but he couldn't resist to buy more, and apparently I made a scene but I didn't I just wanted to hurry up because he broke his promise but because he had his friend who looks young the shop assistant asked for ID, and I already showed mine so he went back to get it then my partner goes, "I feel disgusted in you. This is all because of you, and its all your fault" and this was when I started saying hes a selfish person who cares about nothing but himself, his drinking and always wants sympathy and he blames everyone but himself because he thinks he is always right. Then he said it again, and I said "well from now, its over. That is it" and that night we had to sleep in the same bed but didn't say a word. Even this morning, not a word. I am planning to find somewhere to stay but I cannot help but feel whether or not its me that's the problem for telling him not to drink? He knows I care about him, but the love is not in it any more because he isn't the same person he was two years ago. I just feel heartbroken as I changed my life for him, I stopped going out with friends and I am now isolated with no social interaction apart from a few friends who I text and I just feel trapped and have no where to turn.
... and the ones that won't