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    People's first impressions of me are usually bad. Although once I get speaking to someone their opinion changes pretty quickly. I've been told by pretty much everyone I know at one point that I come across as 'intimidating'. Which I feel is just down to my size. I'm 6'4" and 115kg It's partly down to genetics, the men in my family have always been broad but I guess I don't help it by going to the gym so often. But saying that I don't think that I give off an intimidating vibe. I smile a lot, I'm kind and light hearted. Despite all of that I usually see people (mainly guys) avoiding eye contact or talking to my feet.

    I don't want people thinking that I'm going to hurt them or that I'm a 'gym monkey' and that definitely has an impact on people I don't know willing to come up to talk to me. Is there any way that I can change this image? I don't particularly want to lose muscle because going to the gym is an important outlet for me.

    It's probably a stupid question. I just struggle with it and it gets to me sometimes.
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    Awww, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Sadly, you can't change the way you look or the preconceptions of others.
    If you smile a lot, I don't see why you would be seen as intimidating, have you noticed your body language? or tried talking to the mirror? You'd be surprised but sometimes we may 'look' a certain way without realizing it because we're so used to seeing ourselves.

    If people take the time to get to know you, they shouldn't be hung up on the first impression. Besides, I doubt every person out there finds you intimidating. Do you have any friends? people shouldn't really be that judgmental without getting to know you, I say others need to cut you some slack and you should continue being who you are. If you look like this, I suppose you can try changing the way you dress or your hairstyle.
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    (Original post by Lil3utterfly)
    Awww, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Sadly, you can't change the way you look or the preconceptions of others.
    If you smile a lot, I don't see why you would be seen as intimidating, have you noticed your body language? or tried talking to the mirror? You'd be surprised but sometimes we may 'look' a certain way without realizing it because we're so used to seeing ourselves.

    If people take the time to get to know you, they shouldn't be hung up on the first impression. Besides, I doubt every person out there finds you intimidating. Do you have any friends? people shouldn't really be that judgmental without getting to know you, I say others need to cut you some slack and you should continue being who you are. If you look like this, I suppose you can try changing the way you dress or your hairstyle.
    I have friends! Quite a few actually. It's not that I'm lonely or anything, I just get annoyed by being labelled as a gym monkey and aggressive before people have even spoken to me. My body language is alright, but there are some things that I simply can't help! People might assume I'm puffing my chest out to look intimidating, but that's just the way my chest is. Same with my arms, I can't do anything about it if they're quite big.

    I remember I went to a friends house earlier this year who introduced me to her flat mates, who all said they used to think that I was 'a bit mental' before meeting me in person. Which wasn't the nicest thing I've been told this year! People just seem nervous around me, which isn't nice. I dress pretty well, my haircut it pretty rubbish so that might be it! Might let it grow a bit. I'll give that a try! Thanks.
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    I had pretty bad first impressions from one of my closest friends when I met him at uni. I think he did intimidate me at first, it was mainly because he was very loud and in your face but now I know him he's the sweetest guy (in his own way).
    Can you be very loud at times when first meeting people? Or particularly boisterous? Although you shouldn't change who you are it could help to tone down certain personality traits when you first meet people as it can sometimes be intimidating.
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    If people are intimidated by you, it's really unfortunate. On the other hand there will be plenty of people that are willing to talk to you! I'm no mother theresa nor are any of my friends but I would say the lot of us are people that generally try to interact with anyone as best we can with light hearted ice breakers! I'm sure you'll figure it out, I don't think you're doing anything wrong here.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    I had pretty bad first impressions from one of my closest friends when I met him at uni. I think he did intimidate me at first, it was mainly because he was very loud and in your face but now I know him he's the sweetest guy (in his own way).
    Can you be very loud at times when first meeting people? Or particularly boisterous? Although you shouldn't change who you are it could help to tone down certain personality traits when you first meet people as it can sometimes be intimidating.
    I'm quite outgoing but wouldn't say boisterous. Something that I forgot to mention is that I kickbox at uni, have done it since I was about 4 and quite a lot of people have heard of me through that. A lot of people who come up to me ask me if I'm that guy. So that might be it. But I'm not aggressive in any way shape of form, I used to be when I drank, but I cut that out because I hated the person I used to be. That was before uni though, so people shouldn't have that opinion. I volunteer at an animal shelter and spend two days a week cuddling dogs and kittens! I'm the complete opposite of what people perceive, so I guess that's what annoys me the most.
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    (Original post by Michael!)
    I'm quite outgoing but wouldn't say boisterous. Something that I forgot to mention is that I kickbox at uni, have done it since I was about 4 and quite a lot of people have heard of me through that. A lot of people who come up to me ask me if I'm that guy. So that might be it. But I'm not aggressive in any way shape of form, I used to be when I drank, but I cut that out because I hated the person I used to be. That was before uni though, so people shouldn't have that opinion. I volunteer at an animal shelter and spend two days a week cuddling dogs and kittens! I'm the complete opposite of what people perceive, so I guess that's what annoys me the most.
    Well you seem like a pretty great guy, I'm not sure why you're getting negatives on first impressions. They're probably just nuggets :P
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    Let's see your muscles, OP!
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    (Original post by Michael!)
    People's first impressions of me are usually bad. Although once I get speaking to someone their opinion changes pretty quickly. I've been told by pretty much everyone I know at one point that I come across as 'intimidating'. Which I feel is just down to my size. I'm 6'4" and 115kg It's partly down to genetics, the men in my family have always been broad but I guess I don't help it by going to the gym so often. But saying that I don't think that I give off an intimidating vibe. I smile a lot, I'm kind and light hearted. Despite all of that I usually see people (mainly guys) avoiding eye contact or talking to my feet.

    I don't want people thinking that I'm going to hurt them or that I'm a 'gym monkey' and that definitely has an impact on people I don't know willing to come up to talk to me. Is there any way that I can change this image? I don't particularly want to lose muscle because going to the gym is an important outlet for me.

    It's probably a stupid question. I just struggle with it and it gets to me sometimes.
    I feel you.

    I used this girl on the bus but we went to different schools.. I moved to her school and became friends with her and she told me that I was the kind of girl she wouldn't want to lock eyes with :/ :/

    People never approach me
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    (Original post by saarah_)
    Let's see your muscles, OP!
    They're for my girlfriend's eyes only haha.
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    (Original post by Michael!)
    They're for my girlfriend's eyes only haha.

    Boooo!

    Lol, don't mind me.
    People never approach me if I'm honest, I think they think I'm full of myself or maybe it's because I don't smile at people unless I know them. You can't really do anything to change what people think of you when they first meet you, maybe it's your height they find intimidating.
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      The best thing about first impressions is being able to surprise people and challenge their preconceptions
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      (Original post by + polarity -)
      The best thing about first impressions is being able to surprise people and challenge their preconceptions
      I agree with that. It's a nice feeling when you know that you've surprised someone in that way. However, it'd just be nice if I could drop the stereotype and be deemed as approachable. But it doesn't seem like that's likely to happen!
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      (Original post by Michael!)
      I have friends! Quite a few actually. It's not that I'm lonely or anything, I just get annoyed by being labelled as a gym monkey and aggressive before people have even spoken to me. My body language is alright, but there are some things that I simply can't help! People might assume I'm puffing my chest out to look intimidating, but that's just the way my chest is. Same with my arms, I can't do anything about it if they're quite big.

      I remember I went to a friends house earlier this year who introduced me to her flat mates, who all said they used to think that I was 'a bit mental' before meeting me in person. Which wasn't the nicest thing I've been told this year! People just seem nervous around me, which isn't nice. I dress pretty well, my haircut it pretty rubbish so that might be it! Might let it grow a bit. I'll give that a try! Thanks.
      Sorry for the late reply
      Well, you have friends, I guess they already know you're not intimidating.
      I know it might be hard meeting people and having to deal with their initial judgments but I think it's okay that as long as they are willing to get to know you - then that's fine. I noticed your profile picture, you really do workout a lot. To be honest, being about 5'3, I am scared of anyone taller than me hahahaha so I can see why some people might be afraid or feel similar to that.

      Let them judge, people are judged everywhere from how to look to how they dress. It's just inevitable, just continue being the great person you are and I think it'll be fine But yes, consider trying a new haircut and dress in more 'formal' clothes. Just make subtle changes if it bugs you, but from what I see? Just make use of what you have and don't think negatively about yourself (if you do).

      Best of luck <3
     
     
     
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