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What can I do? I'm scared. Watch

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    Hi guys

    I just wanted some advice really on an issue I've been having lately that's scaring me.

    Where I used to go to college there was a guy there who has disabilities, he wasn't on my course but I would see him around college. I don't know exactly what disabilities he has but I have been told he has multiple personality disorder. When you have a conversation with him he seems to say really scary things to you randomly, he will be having a conversation with you about one thing and he will randomly be like ''I'm going to kill you''! and then go back to the conversation he was having.

    The problem I'm having is that since being back home for the summer he seems to have taken a 'shine' to me. I have a summer job working in a cafe, he came into my work today and wouldn't leave for hours, he was then taken out by a security guard only to be found again later in the toilets of my work hiding. He said he was waiting for me to finish my shift, as he wanted to talk to me.

    When I finished my shift you have to leave out the back of the cafe and it takes you into a carpark that is always pretty dead, there's no one around but he was sat at the entrance of the carpark on his pushbike. I tried to walk past him and get to my car without giving him any sort of eye contact and he shouted at me ''I'm gonna rape you, you stupid *****'' and then he smiled at me and asked me if I wanted to go to mcdonalds with him.

    I know that he can't help his disabilities but it's starting to scare me, this is the 4th day he's been in my work whilst I'm there and I don't know what to do, I don't know if he's harmless and it's just his condition making him act that way or if he's actually a danger to me.

    I am not interested in him one bit and I have never ever made out that I am.
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    I'd be scared, but you know about his condition and how he blurts out random crap.
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    Omg, that's so frightening. You need to report him to the authorities, this guy could be serious and you shouldn't just ignore it because of his disability.
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    Don't be scared, he probably just has tourettes by the sounds of things. Its a really difficult condition to deal with nd he doesn't mean any of the things he says. I imagine he's no more loveley to be violent towards you than anyone else.

    That being said you don't want to encourage him stalking you at work. So just talk to him about it and tell him that isn't cool.

    People with mental illnesses are far moe likely to be victims of violence than perpetrate it, and although he says these things its not something he will mean at all.
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    what a lad
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    Next thing you know, you'll get into your car and he'll be in the back breathing into your neck :yikes:

    Seriously, if i were you, I'd let someone know about this and if he continues to stalk you, phone the police.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Don't be scared, he probably just has tourettes by the sounds of things. Its a really difficult condition to deal with nd he doesn't mean any of the things he says. I imagine he's no more loveley to be violent towards you than anyone else.

    That being said you don't want to encourage him stalking you at work. So just talk to him about it and tell him that isn't cool.

    People with mental illnesses are far moe likely to be victims of violence than perpetrate it, and although he says these things its not something he will mean at all.
    Thank you for the replies everyone!

    I don't think he has tourettes as they don't seem like tics but then I don't really know, I have a cousin who has tourettes and you can tell. But yeah I don't know, thanks for the advice.
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    (Original post by Reeeeyah)
    Thank you for the replies everyone!

    I don't think he has tourettes as they don't seem like tics but then I don't really know, I have a cousin who has tourettes and you can tell. But yeah I don't know, thanks for the advice.
    Regardless, if he was dangerous he wouldn't be wandering around. I know mental health problems can seem really scary but just be aware he is really inlikeley to hurt you and will probably understand if you tell him he can't follow you around at work.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Don't be scared, he probably just has tourettes by the sounds of things. Its a really difficult condition to deal with nd he doesn't mean any of the things he says. I imagine he's no more loveley to be violent towards you than anyone else.

    That being said you don't want to encourage him stalking you at work. So just talk to him about it and tell him that isn't cool.

    People with mental illnesses are far moe likely to be victims of violence than perpetrate it, and although he says these things its not something he will mean at all.

    That's a load of ****, OP. Don't listen to her, you should be scared, Pete off Big Brother doesn't go around stalking people and telling them he's going to rape them now does he?

    It's creepy that he had to wait for her in the toilets where she works. A few years ago, a young girl was stabbed more than ten times in a park by a mentally ill woman, the attack was completely unprovoked.

    Get the authorities involved, you shouldn't have to put up with a creepy weirdo.
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    (Original post by saarah_)
    That's a load of ****, OP. Don't listen to her, you should be scared, Pete off Big Brother doesn't go around stalking people and telling them he's going to rape them now does he?

    It's creepy that he had to wait for her in the toilets where she works. A few years ago, a young girl was stabbed more than ten times in a park by a mentally ill woman, the attack was completely unprovoked.

    Get the authorities involved, you shouldn't have to put up with a creepy weirdo.
    Its a fact:
    http://depts.washington.edu/mhreport/facts_violence.php

    You've never had any experience with mentally I'll people do you?

    And he's the one with tourettes right? He probably does tell people he is going to rape them, if not he's lucky. My friends little sister started shouting that about the age of 11

    Now stop scaremongering.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Its a fact:
    http://depts.washington.edu/mhreport/facts_violence.php

    You've never had any experience with mentally I'll people do you?

    And he's the one with tourettes right? He probably does tell people he is going to rape them, if not he's lucky. My friends little sister started shouting that about the age of 11

    Now stop scaremongering.

    I'm not trying to scare her, she should be concerned and take him seriously regardless of his illness. I work, whenever I finish work I have to leave through the back door and it's like a deserted park, I'd be ****ting myself if someone mentally unstable was waiting for me outside my work place.
    Who cares about those so-called 'facts', she should report him, who knows what he could do to her.
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    But it's not just the things he's saying, it's that he waits for her at work when she doesn't want him to, he's giving her unwanted attention and that's not cool and it is really scary. OP has made it very clear she isn't interested and if he doens't leave her alone then I think getting authorities involved is an appropriate thing to do, possible Tourettes or not. In the meantime, just stay safe, make sure someone knows where you are and when you'll be home etc, all this stuff women shouldn't have to do but we do it anyway.
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    (Original post by saarah_)
    I'm not trying to scare her, she should be concerned and take him seriously regardless of his illness. I work, whenever I finish work I have to leave through the back door and it's like a deserted park, I'd be ****ting myself if someone mentally unstable was waiting for me outside my work place.
    Who cares about those so-called 'facts', she should report him, who knows what he could do to her.
    The police can't do anything unless she verbally asks him to leave her alone, that's the way it works with stalking I'm afraid.

    So your advice is pretty awful.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    The police can't do anything unless she verbally asks him to leave her alone, that's the way it works with stalking I'm afraid.

    So your advice is pretty awful.
    Thanks for defending the mentally ill and their behaviour.

    I'm sort of torn. I appreciate what you're doing so I repped you, and I feel bad for the guy, but it does sound a bit alarming.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    The police can't do anything unless she verbally asks him to leave her alone, that's the way it works with stalking I'm afraid.

    So your advice is pretty awful.

    Yes they can, so she should only alert the police that someone is stalking her if he attacks her?

    Get a grip, lives are lost because of such nonsense, the police refuse to take someone seriously unless they've been murdered or something terrible happens to them.

    Hours before she was murdered by her partner, Casey Brittle rang the police several times alerting them that she was frightened of her partner and they did not take her seriously.

    I say sod his mental illness, tell someone, even if it's not the police then your parents or someone close to you needs to know about this and trust me they won't say 'Oh don't worry about it, he's only mentally ill, he means no harm'.
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    (Original post by saarah_)
    Yes they can, so she should only alert the police that someone is stalking her if he attacks her?

    Get a grip, lives are lost because of such nonsense, the police refuse to take someone seriously unless they've been murdered or something terrible happens to them.

    Hours before she was murdered by her partner, Casey Brittle rang the police several times alerting them that she was frightened of her partner and they did not take her seriously.

    I say sod his mental illness, tell someone, even if it's not the police then your parents or someone close to you needs to know about this and trust me they won't say 'Oh don't worry about it, he's only mentally ill, he means no harm'.
    Have you ever had to go to the police about stalking?

    The conversation goes like this:
    Someone is stalking me
    Have you asked him to leave you alone?
    No because he's scary
    Well we can't do anything until you have done that.

    I never said she shouldn't tell anyone, I just said telling the police is stupid :\ personally, I'd talk to the guy about it in a public place and if that doesn't help speak to his parents about it. Nothing will be gained from getting the police involved.
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    (Original post by nohomo)
    Thanks for defending the mentally ill and their behaviour.

    I'm sort of torn. I appreciate what you're doing so I repped you, and I feel bad for the guy, but it does sound a bit alarming.
    I've been around mentally I'll people all my life so I guess I empathise with their misery that everyone's scared of them. My best friends sister had serious tourettes and my cousin has downs syndrome and I grew up close to both of them.

    I understand that its scary at first but getting the police involved won't help. She needs to speak to him, in a public setting, and failing that speak to his parents/carers. If, after that he's still following her, then it is time to get the police involved.

    As it stands he might not even realise he is upsetting her or being inappropriate.
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    you poor girl, yes you should be scared, he has mental illness and it may just be coming out of his mind but there still is a chance he may act on it so tell him to stop stalking you and if he doesn't then report him.
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    Thank you for the advice everyone, I appreciate it.

    Still scared though.
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    in the mean time could you get a friend to meet you after work or have a colleague to walk you to your car or something?
 
 
 
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