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Silence...
The thing is that some of the time when I'm with my BF it's really amazing and we get on so well chatting and laughing, but sometimes it just feels like there is nothing there, as if we have nothing to say to eachother. It's not exactly awkward as it might be with someone who you didn't know that well, but it makes me wonder if I've done something wrong or if we're just not compatible. I can't think why he gets so quiet, everything I bring up just elicits a single word answer or something like that. When I ask him about it he just brushes it off as "I'm tired" or "I'm in a weird mood, but it seems like almost half the time we're together it's like this.
Obviously unlikely to be a problem many people have experienced but anyone that can relate or anyone who has advice? I really do like him a lot and I just wish there was a way for things to be cool all the time instead of some of the time!
Obviously unlikely to be a problem many people have experienced but anyone that can relate or anyone who has advice? I really do like him a lot and I just wish there was a way for things to be cool all the time instead of some of the time!
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1. It takes two to sit in silence.
2. Maybe do something together. Go somewhere, see something etc. That way you'll also have something to talk about. It's fairly rare for two people to be able to chat non-stop for hours on end.
2. Maybe do something together. Go somewhere, see something etc. That way you'll also have something to talk about. It's fairly rare for two people to be able to chat non-stop for hours on end.
As per the post above...it always helps to do something together, watch TV, a DVD...something. Even cook together, me and my girlfriend love doing that together. Just doing something creates conversation. And you shouldn't worry about it...its only natural. You probably know just about everything there is to know about your partner by now...so all the initial few months were probably pretty easy for convo.
If hes being quiet and short with you...maybe you've done something to annoy him though?
If hes being quiet and short with you...maybe you've done something to annoy him though?
It's often really quiet between me and my boyfriend, but it hasn't started to worry me. I just feel really comfortable to lie next to him quietly, and don't feel a need to be talking all the time. Watching a film or something is a good idea, if the silence does feel a little strained though...
I sympathise with the above poster because I constantly find myself in the same situation with my own gf,
Don't overanalyse things too much - I know what my bf is like when he's tired but I know he still loves me. If it is really bothering you, do explain it to him though - say you understand that he's tired or whatever, but it's bothering you a wee bit that it seems to be all the time.
How often are you seeing each other? If you've got nothing new to talk about, and yet are always seeing/talking to each other, maybe you should chill and not be so close all the time.
How often are you seeing each other? If you've got nothing new to talk about, and yet are always seeing/talking to each other, maybe you should chill and not be so close all the time.
the silence doesnt feel like an "akward" silence... and it is nice to just cuddle and stuff it just makes me think bad sorts of things though
perhaps i am just readingn too much into it!
perhaps i am just readingn too much into it!
The only girl for whom I've ever cared in my life once said, "you're the only one with whom I can sit in silence, doing nothing and enjoy it."
Anonymous
The only girl for whom I've ever cared in my life once said, "you're the only one with whom I can sit in silence, doing nothing and enjoy it."
That's just how I feel about my bf, I like not feeling obligated to entertain my boyfriend with a barrage of verbal diarrhoea, it's the same with my best friend, we can quite comfortably sit in silence and not worry that one is p****d off with the other. OP if yo're just happy being with him and him with you then I don't see that you have anything to worry about.
The best is when on the phone you suddenly realize no one has said anything for minutes.
I love sitting in silence with my boyfriend, because it's such an uncomfortable feeling with everyone else apart from him!! With him, it just makes me drift...
thanks for advice and niceness everyone 
has sort fo helped me see that i was maybe reading too much into it
has sort fo helped me see that i was maybe reading too much into it
Keziah
It's often really quiet between me and my boyfriend, but it hasn't started to worry me. I just feel really comfortable to lie next to him quietly, and don't feel a need to be talking all the time. Watching a film or something is a good idea, if the silence does feel a little strained though...
I think that watching a film makes it more obvious that you have nothing to say to each other. OP, like you seem to have realised, it just sounds like you're overanalysing too much. Be aware - if you ask someone "what's wrong?" all the time when they're silent, they'll probably get annoyed, so don't push it!
I quite like it when my boyfriend and I are silent. We are comfortable with it because it's natural and honest; we both hate people who make small talk about nothing in every conversational lull.
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