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    I have a a broken family, both my parents live separate, I and my WOlltwo older siblings live with mum and my eldest sister now lives with dad.my mum from a young age allowed us to see our dad but at the same time she hated him and told us how bad he was to her. Our brother he hates our dad and reluctantly went to see him all these years.he says my dad is a liar about how he treated my mum.anyway I never used go get involved and went to visit my dad on occasions.now that we are all older (in our 20s) my mum still hates my dad a lot.my brother also does and says we don't need him. I don't like going to see my dad much because he's constantly depressed and always makes me feel worse as he has to say something to make my mood go off too.anyway I decided to cut off contact from my dad as I started to feel too sorry for him which didn't help anything. My older sister really had a go at me about this and said I shouldn't cut off from him.she said I'm getting involved in the family feud and I shouldn't be.

    She started getting really annoyed at me and I felt like she hated me for it.she herself got involved in the family feud by starting a fight with my dad and his brother about stuff that happened with my mum. Now I know longer get to see my cousins from my dads side and I kind of blame my sister for starting the fight.

    I feel so helpless in this situation and then can't take my mind of it.I'm constantly thinking about how much I hate how my family is now.I feel like I have no voice and I just do whatever anyone else tell me to do (whether its my bro telling me to hate dad or sis telling me I have to talk to my dad) I feel so stressed out and I don't know what to do.I feel liki don't need to keep contact with dad since we don't enjoy each others compa anyway, when k went through depression few years ago be always just judged me and didn't really help me.I feel so stick in my situation and I can't stop thinking about it.

    I need my sanity back ,and it doesn't help that I have anexam tomorrow and I can't concentrate.

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    ...is there a specific question you want answering?
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    I feel like I can't cope with my family issues anymore, and everyone disagrees on everything.I did want everyone to get along but obviously I can't get that to happen.but yea my question is whether you guys think I should keep contact with my dad? Am I making a mistake but cutting him off? I feel like I can't speak to my dad how I feel about him and would rather just not have to deal with him.my older sisters judgements about me not talking to my dad is also annoying me.i guess being depressed doesn't help as I am constantly on edge off any judgements from others and my own family.this is the first time I have ever done anything (stop talking to dad) which in a way is to avoid telling him how I really feel.I know I'm not helping situation but I don't know how to improvey relationship with him,whenever I kind of do,my older brother ruins it by reminding me I should hate my dad blah blah

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    I also come from a broken home - I'm now in my adult life and there isn't so much drama anymore. My advice to you is that you do not need to 'cut off' your Dad - you don't have to actively contact him or visit him, just leave the door open. That's what I did anyway. I send birthday/xmas cards, I send e-mails occasionally. I don't get a lot back - I probably see them in person twice a year if I'm lucky (usually it's just xmas). But I don't expect anymore. I think part of the problem growing up is that in your head you still want to have a 'normal' family and 'normal' relationship with your parents. At some point I just accepted that that part of my life was over and it was never going to be an easy or conventional relationship.

    Keep the door open, keep it civil, keep it light/friendly - you don't have to invest emotionally, I tend not to anymore (not even consciously now). But we never speak of the past, we never argue etc - it's all civil and as I say, we see each other very rarely - but when we do it's breezy. It might seem 'fake' or lacking in genuine enjoyment - but I just make the most of it and don't get attached.

    So yeah, don't cut your parent/s out - you can still have them in your life but at an arms length if that's the way it has to be.
 
 
 
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