My friend is in a long distance relationship and she's been so for around a year but she's been feeling depressed about it since November and she always comes to me for cheering up. She's managed so far but now she's really depressed and so is her boyfriend and they literally cannot survive but they can't say it to each other.
She was super depressed tonight and she came to me and said: "I can't do this anymore, I don't know what to do I'm scared he won't talk to anymore if we stop being together". I told her to consider taking a hiatus since the relationship is hurting them both, but she just replied: It's okay I'll sleep, sorry" and then she stopped replying and left, and she didn't sleep because her friend told me she's texting her which means she's upset with me now and she hates me
I feel awful and I kind of just want to hide in a corner now I didn't know it would hurt her, I kind of hate seeing her like this and she's been like this for a long time and I just really don't know I'm pretty sure she hates me now.
I feel horrible :( Watch
- Thread Starter
- 04-07-2014 00:12
- 04-07-2014 22:01
Considering she's pretty down in the dumps, have you considered apologizing to her?
Maybe she doesn't hate you but is slowly retreating back into her corner because you said something she didn't want to hear. If they're in a long distance relationship, they have to talk it out between each other and try to find ways of seeing each other more often / compromising etc. And if it helps, tell her that their relationship has lasted for a year and that already shows there is commitment there. It won't end that easily, unless they stop talking to each other.
Don't beat yourself up over it, I know you're trying to help your friend but all you can do is support her and offer her advice. You can't fix her problem, that's only something they can do. I'm sure if you explain to her, she will understand - even if she is feeling pretty low at the moment.
- 05-07-2014 09:53
Yeah I totally agree with the comment above.
She just sounds lonely, I mean I know you are there for here but her boyfriend isn't. In my perspectives, you should tell her not to break up with him over the internet but face to face, because I am 100% that they won't break up that way and it's just sad if their relationship goes to waste when they have been together for so long!
I'm starting university in September so I'll be in a long distance too, but once you keep a routine going and stay optimistic and know that you will see each other soon, then everything will run smooth
I suggest you tell her to call him often and maybe skype him to see him or something?
Then again, if she does not have much feelings for him, she should talk to him.
Personally, I don't see what wrong you have done, so don't beat yourself to it. You don't need to apologize for anything! Just be by her side and comfort her, if she's going to treat you nasty just let her know that she is. Remember you're helping her, not letting her walk over you.
Good luck, and if you need advice don't hesitate to ask !
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