So I've heard recordings of my voice before and to be honest, doesn't sound anything like how it sounds to myself. I brushed it off as just something everyone experiences until I began having people say I sound "feminine".
First time it really annoyed me, now I've been told it a few times and my self esteem has went to crap.
It's annoying because I'm a straight guy and its sickening to think that people might assume I'm gay and/or think I sound girly. I have nothing against gay men, but its horrible relationship wise to think other girls might brush me off as being gay because of my tone!
Now I know many might just say "Be yourself", but until your a guy sounding girly then "being yourself" isn't really an option worth picking.
What the heck should I do? I've got Uni coming up in a few months and this thought is going to destroy me.
Personally I don't think I sound that bad, I just have a soft undertone. Its peoples perceptions that are killing me!
I apparently sound like a girl and my self esteem has skydived Watch
- Thread Starter
- 04-07-2014 02:12
- 10-07-2014 13:51
Just let people say what they want. What is important is that you are happy with who you are!
- 10-07-2014 18:04
Sounds to me like you've got your priorities way wrong. Instead of worrying about other people's assumptions about you, I'd be worrying about your assumptions about the world. Such as that being or even being perceived as being gay is in any way sickening. Or that being 'effeminate' is bad either.
So to be honest, I'd say you've got a lot of growing up to do before uni, and this has nothing to do with your vocal chords.
- 10-07-2014 19:23
It can sound good, listen to Capote speak
- 10-07-2014 19:35
Your voice doesn't make you who you are. People aren't going to dismiss you because of your voice. People might notice that your voice is a bit effiminate and they might even comment on it but they aren't going to stop talking to you for it, or not like you because of it. It will only affect you if you let it affect you, but if you just decide to not think anything of it, other people will not think anything of it. Girls might think you are gay at first but you can always make it clear you aren't gay by dropping a comment that makes it clear you aren't and the problem is solved, people always make assumptions about people but those assumptions don't have to stick. If you make it a big deal then people will start treating it like it is, if someone makes a joke about your voice then just laugh and brush it off, people will then start viewing it as something minor, if you start making a big fuss about it then people will start viewing it as something bigger than it is. I've met a few guys who have soft/girly voices and they haven't let it get to them, people commented on it at first but soon after people realised it really wasn't that big of a deal and now everyone is just used to it.
- 10-07-2014 20:08
I agree with all of the above.
First, just because a few people say you sound "feminine" doesn't mean your voice is that high pitched. Some people are just prone to judging and making snarky comments about tiny little details.
There is nothing wrong in having a higher pitched voice, there's no such thing as a normal voice, and the people who have nothing more interesting to say than "you sound feminine" are those you should be wary of (even if those are people you consider your friends).
Second, it's easier said than done, but whenever someone says you sound "feminine" (which is incredibly disrespectful towards women but that's another subject), just brush it off. I've had people call me ugly, fat, stinky, a whore and so on. I've even had people trying to use my good grades as an insult (lamest insult ever).
At first it's hard. Then you grow up a bit, realize you don't give a damn because what other people think of you do NOT define who you are.
You'll meet new people at uni, some will be just as childishly judgemental, and some will make you realize having a "soft undertone" really isn't that bad.