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sex seems impossible!

A few nights ago me and my boyfriend of 6 months tried to have sex for the first time. We were both virgins and we'd talked about it and everything and we're both really comfortable with each other. He's fingered me before but I've always been pretty tight so I expected my first time to maybe not be so perfect as I hoped. We were at his house on our own and we did loads of foreplay and eventually we felt ready to try, but it just wouldn't work. Eventually he managed to get inside me a bit but it wouldn't go any further. It didn't hurt me as such, just felt like there was no way it would fit in. So then we gave up and I wanted to finish him off so to speak, but I couldn't get him to come. I've done this for him a few times before, and everytime he came pretty easily, but this time I had to give up in the end. Now I don't know whether it was just because he was worrying about us not being able to have sex and stuff? Or something else?
I was quite upset about it but my boyfriend was really lovely and he gave me a massive cuddle, but I couldn't help still feeling worried and upset. So now I just feel completely useless and worried that we're never going to be able to have sex. It just seemed completely impossible at the time. I really felt ready for it and now I'm worried that next time we try all this stuff will be going round my head and it will be even worse. Any advice appreciated, thanks!

Lube.

Yeh try using lube as Fleece said. Maybe try it in a different position to before as well?

Don't worry about it if you are/were both virgins then it will take a bit of time just keep giving it a go. Your bf seemed nice about it so don't feel bad it will happen just laugh it off when it does not work out as you expected together.

Reply 3

Madmanjock

1

When it feels like it stops, go further. It will hurt the first time.

and take your time

A lube such as KY. It also seems that there may have been some psychological reson for it too.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

maybe he hit your hymen... don't know but seems likely
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen

Reply 7

Creepy

14

If you say you were relaxed it probably was your hymen. Keep pushing - it will go if you are relaxed and "excited" enough, although it will hurt quite a bit.

Reply 8

Sasuke!

14

yeah do not force yourself, or it just wont be righ tinit

Reply 9

noujazeg

2

mrs fnerg

So then we gave up and I wanted to finish him off so to speak, but I couldn't get him to come. I've done this for him a few times before, and everytime he came pretty easily, but this time I had to give up in the end. Now I don't know whether it was just because he was worrying about us not being able to have sex and stuff? Or something else?

If you've never had that problem before, then it's a pretty safe bet that it was just because of the awkwardness of the situation. Don't worry about that one too much. :smile:

Reply 10

Navajo

14

durex 'play' products :/

Reply 11

foxiroxi

10

as others have said. It was probs your hyman and use lube! :smile:

Just try to relax as much as possible next time. do the same again of lots of foreplay etc.

At least you have a lovely boyfriend who gave you a huge cuddle, does make you feel better doesn't it :smile:

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

It bloody hurts and there's nothing you can do about it. Lots of LUBE, go slowly, it'll be a few times before it's comfortable.

Reply 13

slk999

15

He probably couldn't come because he was quite worried or a little anxious. If you use lube like these people have said, then hopefully he should feel as anxious and therefore more likely to come.

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Yeah my boyfriend had a similar thing after our first unsuccessful attempt. He said he felt a failure... I had to comfort him! It's hardly his fault.

Reply 15

high priestess fnord

9

to all the men saying its going to hurt *stop scaring her*. its different for everyone and there may be no pain involved.

Reply 16

samba

6

high priestess fnord

to all the men saying its going to hurt *stop scaring her*. its different for everyone and there may be no pain involved.

She may like the pain anyway!

Reply 17

prettyblueeyes

13

It won't necessarily hurt! My first time didn't hurt at all.. there is no "normal" it depends on the people and situation. It sounds like your hymen, go gentle and don't be put off if the next attempt isn't much better... you'll get there in the end. Take care x

Reply 18

foxiroxi

10

high priestess fnord

to all the men saying its going to hurt *stop scaring her*. its different for everyone and there may be no pain involved.

Very true I had no pain my first time, or at all on my first night, while I was at his. When we did it at mine it hurt :frown:

I think I was scared at my own home because someone might come home :frown:

now however I'm fine...It's great :eek:

Reply 19

Absinthe

1

Took me a while to lose my virginity because each time I'd tense up. You might think you are relaxed, but if there's a fear of pain you'll remain tight. It also depends on how big your partner is, shall we say. Make sure he gets you fully aroused, then make sure he's slow and gentle.

If sex itself is painful, try a lubricant - and I recommend using Durex condoms if you're using that method of contraception. I've had problems with other brands where the lube simply dries up - ow!

sex seems impossible!

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