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Low self esteem and confidence, anyone else? Watch

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    I've really low self esteem and confidence and I'm wondering if anyone else here is the same/knows how to overcome this, cause it's really hard.
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    Are you getting any kind of therapy? CBT can be really good at helping people overcome poor self-esteem and low confidence.
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    Stop caring what other people think.
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    Counselling/therapy can really help. Being able to talk to a professional about it can help unearth the reason behind your lack of confidence. Finding out the reason can lead to finding a solution.
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    I agree with others. It may not seem like it, but counselling helps a lot. They can help you identify events or experiences you've gone through that have led to low self-esteem. Just understanding why you have a problem helps a lot. They can also help you learn how to break out of thinking patterns and feel positive about yourself. Make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to a counselor. Or if you're at school or uni, you could see their counselor instead.

    You could also try online tools for CBT. Here's a free one: https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome/new/splash

    good luck!
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    I remember counseling...it sucked.
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    The trouble with low confidence and self esteem is its a classic Catch-22. If you don't have much confidence and self esteem, you are quieter socially. Which at Uni makes life very difficult when all around you you see confident, shiny happy people seemingly having the time of their lives. (Remember, you never actually see the ones in your situation, shutting themselves away so what you SEE is actually a skewed sample of the average.) Which, in turn, inexorably leads to your self esteem plummeting further. And remember, even some people who outwardly seem confident actually have poor self esteem!
    Sometimes the only way out of this is to push yourself out of your comfort zone, even if you may get rejected. Push yourself out enough and you will BECOME one of those shiny, happy people (or at least appear to outsiders) and your self esteem will increase.

    It won't happen overnight but remember Rome wasn;t built in a day
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    (Original post by Wimbs)
    The trouble with low confidence and self esteem is its a classic Catch-22. If you don't have much confidence and self esteem, you are quieter socially. Which at Uni makes life very difficult when all around you you see confident, shiny happy people seemingly having the time of their lives. (Remember, you never actually see the ones in your situation, shutting themselves away so what you SEE is actually a skewed sample of the average.) Which, in turn, inexorably leads to your self esteem plummeting further. And remember, even some people who outwardly seem confident actually have poor self esteem!
    Sometimes the only way out of this is to push yourself out of your comfort zone, even if you may get rejected. Push yourself out enough and you will BECOME one of those shiny, happy people (or at least appear to outsiders) and your self esteem will increase.

    It won't happen overnight but remember Rome wasn;t built in a day
    It's weird because right now at sixth form, people don't think I've no self esteem, confidence etc cause teachers like me, I can be trusted, I'm a senior prefect. I know I'll struggle at uni, but everyone does, right?
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    the first thing to do is to see things in terms of change, confidence and self-esteem are not fixed but things that are variable and depend on a lot of factors,

    there are a lot of ways of dealing with lack of confidence

    the arrogance shield

    when you presume you are superior in some or another way to other people thus validating yourself, in this way people need to get validation from you not the other way round, thus shielding you

    the nihilist shield

    when you presume nothing really matters, so who gives a crap

    the stoic shield

    when you presume that people are people, they're dicks, they'll judge you but what they do is largely out of your control, so you focus on controlling your emotions instead of external events

    the experiment

    when you put yourself in awful situations just to learn how to deal with the experience. so someone with confidence issues takes up public speaking.

    just four i came up with quickly
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    I thought you were at Uni Cesca! (I graduated in 2003 for the record!) As I said people (yourself maybe) can appear outwardly confident but actually lacking in confidence!
    Don't assume you'll struggle at uni without having tried! There are many permutations, confident sixthformers can be confident uni students, unconfident sixthformers can find the lack of confidence just continues at uni (that was me,) unconfident sixthformers can find uni is a transformation and even confident sixthformers can suudenly find they are actually a small fish in a very big sea at uni! My advice is when you get there, don't shut yourself away, get out there and you'll do just fine!
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    (Original post by DErasmus)
    the first thing to do is to see things in terms of change, confidence and self-esteem are not fixed but things that are variable and depend on a lot of factors,

    there are a lot of ways of dealing with lack of confidence

    the arrogance shield

    when you presume you are superior in some or another way to other people thus validating yourself, in this way people need to get validation from you not the other way round, thus shieleding you

    the nihilist shield

    when you presume nothing really matters, so who gives a crap

    the stoic shield

    when you presume that people are people, they're dicks, they'll judge you but what they do is largely out of your control, so you focus on controlling your emotions instead of external events

    the experiment

    when you put yourself in awful situations just to learn how to deal with the experience. so someone with confidence issues takes up public speaking.

    just four i came up with quickly
    I wish you were my mentor at uni!
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    I would reccomend you join a Martial Arts club like TKD or Karate, the guys who run/do them are ever so friendly and it's amazing what it can do for you. I went from being scared to speak over the phone to a stranger to being able to confidently to present to a class of 15.

    Best of luck in the future
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    (Original post by Wimbs)
    I thought you were at Uni Cesca! (I graduated in 2003 for the record!) As I said people (yourself maybe) can appear outwardly confident but actually lacking in confidence!
    Don't assume you'll struggle at uni without having tried! There are many permutations, confident sixthformers can be confident uni students, unconfident sixthformers can find the lack of confidence just continues at uni (that was me,) unconfident sixthformers can find uni is a transformation and even confident sixthformers can suudenly find they are actually a small fish in a very big sea at uni! My advice is when you get there, don't shut yourself away, get out there and you'll do just fine!
    Haha, what made you think that? I'm only applying for uni this week (finally)!
    That's my biggest fear about uni. I'm leaving home and none of my school friends will be there and I'm absolute sh*t at making friends.
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    (Original post by DErasmus)
    the first thing to do is to see things in terms of change, confidence and self-esteem are not fixed but things that are variable and depend on a lot of factors,

    there are a lot of ways of dealing with lack of confidence

    the arrogance shield

    when you presume you are superior in some or another way to other people thus validating yourself, in this way people need to get validation from you not the other way round, thus shielding you

    the nihilist shield

    when you presume nothing really matters, so who gives a crap

    the stoic shield

    when you presume that people are people, they're dicks, they'll judge you but what they do is largely out of your control, so you focus on controlling your emotions instead of external events

    the experiment

    when you put yourself in awful situations just to learn how to deal with the experience. so someone with confidence issues takes up public speaking.

    just four i came up with quickly
    The nihilist and stoic ones are me privately I guess. I just don't like showing it, because I'm surrounded by judgemental dicks at school
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    (Original post by Nicholas Nelson)
    I would reccomend you join a Martial Arts club like TKD or Karate, the guys who run/do them are ever so friendly and it's amazing what it can do for you. I went from being scared to speak over the phone to a stranger to being able to confidently to present to a class of 15.

    Best of luck in the future
    I used to do Judo (reached orange belt) but had to give it up due to school commitments. I do orchestra, brass band and choir, but I feel as if it doesn't help me at all, I get ignored quite a lot
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    (Original post by CescaD96)
    Haha, what made you think that? I'm only applying for uni this week (finally)!
    That's my biggest fear about uni. I'm leaving home and none of my school friends will be there and I'm absolute sh*t at making friends.

    I know its horribly cliched but everybody will be in the same boat. It may be the time of your life or you may struggle or anything in between but statistically its more likely to be the former.
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    (Original post by Wimbs)
    I wish you were my mentor at uni!
    I'll add it to a list of potential jobs
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    (Original post by Wimbs)
    I know its horribly cliched but everybody will be in the same boat. It may be the time of your life or you may struggle or anything in between but statistically its more likely to be the former.
    I've kinda set myself up for it.
 
 
 
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