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    I am still new to this tsr forum and i have tried several times today to publish this problem as anonymous but it's not posting.

    I am going to Nigeria next Week Friday for a three week holiday to visit my extended families etc. The problem is i don't want to do this. I suffer from Social Anxiety and Depression and as an 19 year old who is deemed as a failure in life and Education, i can't see myself socialising with these people. Whats pissed me off more is the fact that my parents has forced me to go with them, a family in which i don't like them and they don't like me.

    The last time i went holiday with my parents was last year when i went to Spain and acted like a freak that involved one of my aunty to humiliate me at a wedding party, leading me to have a spike in anxiety after coming back to London. I remember telling people to send me to a mental hospital.

    The reason why i'm depressed about this is the fact that i am boring as **** and also the fact that i am one of the rarest guys to not watch football as when i tell people that i don't like football, i feel so gay and weak (I've even struggled to watch the world cup), my dad who is an arsenal supporter has question my existence several times about me not liking football and how i'm seen as the loner. So if i told people this in Nigeria, the cussing will be more worse than the ones in London as in Africa, it's basically your In or ur out in which is going to give me a sudden spike in Anxiety when they see me as a loser and probably going to send me back to strong anxiety and a more damaged confident when coming back to London.

    Look listen, sorry if i haven't written this problem as my mind is over the place writing this as this is urgent
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    (Original post by O.Ozz)
    when i tell people that i don't like football, i feel so gay and weak
    What's with the homophobic generalisation?

    Anyway, it's only a holiday so what could possibly happen. If you don't socialise and communicate with your extended family nothing will happen, so don't worry about it. Just try to enjoy it as much as you can. I can't see what could go wrong?
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    (Original post by yellowcopter)
    What's with the homophobic generalisation?

    I can't see what could go wrong?
    it was more of an Anxiety question and tried to attempt to post this issue several times.. and have edited this one to be appropriate

    the problem is i get offended too quick, i'm too sensitive, for example the thing about football is the most sensitive thing in my life when people see me as a ******. The reason is that when i go to holiday with my family, it never goes right and when it never goes right, i start having suicidal tendercies and the fear is that it will just get worse
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      (Original post by yellowcopter)
      What's with the homophobic generalisation?

      Anyway, it's only a holiday so what could possibly happen. If you don't socialise and communicate with your extended family nothing will happen, so don't worry about it. Just try to enjoy it as much as you can. I can't see what could go wrong?
      Wasnt Shumacher on holiday when he came a cropper?
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      (Original post by O.Ozz)
      it was more of an Anxiety question and tried to attempt to post this issue several times.. and have edited this one to be appropriate

      the problem is i get offended too quick, i'm too sensitive, for example the thing about football is the most sensitive thing in my life when people see me as a ******. The reason is that when i go to holiday with my family, it never goes right and when it never goes right, i start having suicidal tendercies and the fear is that it will just get worse
      Try to refrain from using words like '******' because they're extremely rude and derogatory.

      Just ignore comments like that or shrug them off. If you don't like football so what, you don't have to force yourself to like it to please others. As I said in my previous post it's only a generalisation, what people say hardly defines you as a person.

      What exactly doesn't go right that gives you dark thoughts?
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      I'm sorry i keep Swearing i can't help it. What doesn't go right are if i have done something wrong or my behavior is seen as strange. i don't like it when people call me quiet or insult to me a level they don't even know they've offended me. So it drives me into pure depressed and anxious state
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      Is this your first time going to Nigeria? What part are you going to?


      I would advise you to go there with an open-mind. As you may know, Nigerians are at times known for their inability to tell the difference between what is and isn't offensive.
      I understand that you have social anxiety/depression which I'm sure is difficult enough as it is without the added stress of going to Nigeria. Have you discussed this with your parents? You're 19 years old, they need to realise you should be able to make your own decisions on such matters now.
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      (Original post by micksocurly)
      Is this your first time going to Nigeria? What part are you going to?


      I would advise you to go there with an open-mind. As you may know, Nigerians are at times known for their inability to tell the difference between what is and isn't offensive.
      I understand that you have social anxiety/depression which I'm sure is difficult enough as it is without the added stress of going to Nigeria. Have you discussed this with your parents? You're 19 years old, they need to realise you should be able to make your own decisions on such matters now.
      No, this will be my fourth time, and yes they do have an inability to tell the difference between what is and isn't offensive. I have no control over my parents so they have forced me into this. I just can't do this, i am a really retarded shy person in life and in all my experiences going to nigeria, i could deal with these idiotic, piss taking offensive but this was before i wasn't that depressed.
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      There is more to this story, but the moderators just wouldn't allow it or are just struggling to understand this situation, and i thought this was a forum for any problem. Either way idgaf. I am prepared to go, idgaf if i die or not, after all my life is the worst life a 19 year old can have
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      Hey dear...
      I dont really know how to put my suggestion out to you, but here let me try...
      I am an outcast just like you, I dont do the normal activities what my friends or friends of friends or cousins or anyone does. I used to feel what you feel attending functions, visiting families, I love writing and when im out among people , I kinda wait for them to approach me which looks like I have an attitude to the thurd person but in reality im scared ****less to actually start a conversation.

      I am what I am.. over years of such exposure, the only result that came out is, either way I cant run from my problems, also your friends can hekp you with this situation, if your dad isnt of that much help.. but do try talking to your dad, ask him to provide uou positive mental support and that encourage you to gain some confidence. Trust me, my family has helped me overcome all my phobias, I still have a stage fear, in shaa Allah it will fade one day.. but you, you can help yourself by being confident and saying what you feel to whoever approaches you.

      It will make a difference, in the beginning it wouldn't be noticeable but with time you'd gain your confidence and you'd be proud of yourself. Life is too short to think about the judgment of other fellow beings.. if you belive in God, then you need to put all yout faith in Him and yourself.

      You eont have any problems, just wake up every morning, think of it as a challenge and yeah remember a physical line ...every action has an equal and opposite reaction. .so act normal and confidently around ppl and dont worry about their judgement.

      All the very best take care ... happy journey young man.

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      (Original post by M Jamali)



      every action has an equal and opposite reaction. .so act normal and confidently around ppl and dont worry about their judgement.



      Posted from TSR Mobile
      If "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" were to apply here, that would mean that by acting normally and confidently, people would respond by acting abnormally and not being confident around him (an opposite reaction).
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      (Original post by nohomo)
      If "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" were to apply here, that would mean that by acting normally and confidently, people would respond by acting abnormally and not being confident around him (an opposite reaction).
      Maybe.
      But thats not what I'm implying here... what I really mean is ... if he starts worrying and getting depressed ., the environment around him would be what he is most scared of .. like here he fears judgment, and if he remains so scared and worried, he will only get more depressed. Being a med line student, the first approach to such issues is to provide mental support, im not saying he here has serious mental problems, but see...too much depression and anxiety may cause him some actual anxiety disorder ..

      If he just starts providing himself a daily dose of positive thoughts each morning, like how noone in this world can hurt him by thier judgements. . Or by treating him ss an outcast .. sure he is one, he should be proud of that . If he stops expecting good views of him being an outcast, he should prove it to them by how he is different from others
      He should do things, he enjoy. He's what..19?.. he can do things of his own . He just needs to boost his confidence level up and be strong. .. after a little struggle, there wont be anyone to judge him and he wouldn't have his anxious ness or depression.

      If he does not stops thinking about eveey other person around him he wouldn't get ahead in life.. and he mentioned earluer he tends to have suicidal tendencies which makes this situation serious... I would suggest him to get counseled. Or he can just share the much more part of the story... im sure tsrians wouldn't mind boosting his confidence up. Right?

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      Every action has an equal and opposite reaction

      Let me try put this in a good way, ..

      For instance, just think that you are standing near pool of muddy water ( im correlating to the people here ) and what would you do if its in the middle of your path . You wouldn't put your leg into it to cross ... right?(by this I mean, you wouldn't really share thwm how you feel about football, u could just avoid the questions) .. you'd jump over it... you wouldn't dare look back to how you might have tripped into it by walking from inside it , also you wouldn't want yourself to get dirty..right? (Amd once you come out of that place, you'd only look back to see what and how you've achieved what you have, crossing an obstacled path of your life without hurting yourself ).

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      (Original post by M Jamali)

      All the very best take care ... happy journey young man.

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      Well thank you very much, it has touched me, but i still can't do this, so what i've said is that i'm prepared for hell. It's because i'm a loner and i have more acquaintances than actual friends that i can't to deal with the people there. It's more of a social and personality issue that i have that i can't control or they might notice how weird, quiet and a loner i am.
     
     
     
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