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    When I was at school, I had a very love/hate relationship with one of my best friends; she could make you feel like the best person in the planet, could be really lovely, really funny, and really kind one day, and then the next she'd be snapping at me all day for no reason - if anybody's watched Pretty Little Liars, then she was sort of like the character of Ali. I always felt like her anger was projected at me, despite us having a fairly large friendship group. I originally guessed that this was because I'm in a relationship with her ex boyfriend, but it's not like I did that in a *****y way(?), as they had already broken up when I moved to the school, and the reason they broke up was because she cheated on him to get with her current boyfriend. So I don't quite understand why she'd have a dislike for me as a result of that.

    Anyway, during last summer, she fell out with me over my support for a Feminist campaign. She totally humiliated me on Facebook, trying to start an argument with me when I was being nothing but polite to her. I know I might sound biased there, because of course I'd see myself as being polite, but I've even asked other people since and they've told me that I was very restrained and civil throughout. She tagged other people in the argument as well, trying to get them to join in. Some did. When I deleted her on Facebook I thought that it'd finished, but I was then told that she was b*tching about me on a completely different social media platform which I couldn't see; somebody showed me some of the stuff she was saying and it was all directed at taking the mick out of me and my appearance. This continued for a while, and I sort of ignored it. Since then she's spread rumours that I've cheated on my boyfriend, that he beats me, and that I've been gossiping about all of our mutual friends, (which I haven't). I know that I just need to get over it but I can't find a way to do so. I go through stages where I think I'm fine with it but then something will remind me about it and I'll get really angry/upset. Please help!
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    I know it's a cliche, but success seems like the best (and least incriminating) form of revenge. That will take time and discipline though.
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    (Original post by nohomo)
    I know it's a cliche, but success seems like the best (and least incriminating) form of revenge. That will take time and discipline though.
    Yeah I figured that'd be the case.:l I just hate the hurt that still surrounds the memory.
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    (Original post by FreckledFeminist)
    Yeah I figured that'd be the case.:l I just hate the hurt that still surrounds the memory.
    Time, distance, success and distractions might heal that. I get that way about things from my past, but as time passes, I care less and less (though I still care a bit).
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    I just feel like she's constantly one-upping me; she was the like 'fit' girl of our year. People still think she's this great person. Writing this, I'm terrified she'll see it and somehow use it as another way to get at me.
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    (Original post by nohomo)
    Time, distance, success and distractions might heal that. I get that way about things from my past, but as time passes, I care less and less (though I still care a bit).
    Hmm. I suppose. One of the reasons I'm looking forward to university.
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    (Original post by FreckledFeminist)
    When I was at school, I had a very love/hate relationship with one of my best friends; she could make you feel like the best person in the planet, could be really lovely, really funny, and really kind one day, and then the next she'd be snapping at me all day for no reason - if anybody's watched Pretty Little Liars, then she was sort of like the character of Ali. I always felt like her anger was projected at me, despite us having a fairly large friendship group. I originally guessed that this was because I'm in a relationship with her ex boyfriend, but it's not like I did that in a *****y way(?), as they had already broken up when I moved to the school, and the reason they broke up was because she cheated on him to get with her current boyfriend. So I don't quite understand why she'd have a dislike for me as a result of that.

    Anyway, during last summer, she fell out with me over my support for a Feminist campaign. She totally humiliated me on Facebook, trying to start an argument with me when I was being nothing but polite to her. I know I might sound biased there, because of course I'd see myself as being polite, but I've even asked other people since and they've told me that I was very restrained and civil throughout. She tagged other people in the argument as well, trying to get them to join in. Some did. When I deleted her on Facebook I thought that it'd finished, but I was then told that she was b*tching about me on a completely different social media platform which I couldn't see; somebody showed me some of the stuff she was saying and it was all directed at taking the mick out of me and my appearance. This continued for a while, and I sort of ignored it. Since then she's spread rumours that I've cheated on my boyfriend, that he beats me, and that I've been gossiping about all of our mutual friends, (which I haven't). I know that I just need to get over it but I can't find a way to do so. I go through stages where I think I'm fine with it but then something will remind me about it and I'll get really angry/upset. Please help!
    I can totally relat with your last bit about going through stages!! I fell out with mt bestfriend and we disnt speak for months and completely avoided each other and then i out if the blue asked her something by the way and we started to speak agaon and its noway near as good as it was before we fell out but its something. Let her have space and leave her completely and wath what happens!!!

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    You sound like the sensible one here. Best thing to do is block and delete her off everything and if people come to you to show you what she's been saying tell them firmly and politely that you don't want to know. It can't affect you if you don't see it. And honestly...the rumours...as long as you and those close to you know the real deal I wouldn't even spare them a second thought. She's behaving like a toddler and this isn't some Hollywood High school...people like that will really struggle in life and she'll get her comeuppance very soon believe me.
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    Karma will get her.
    I dealt with something similar when I was at school, two of my best friends turned in me over something petty and they said a lot of hurtful things about me, made up rumours and pranked called me. It went as severe as leaving death threats on my voicemail and posting letters through my door.
    Chance are, she is jealous of you and is provoking you for a reaction. Best thing to do is to not give her one, and walk away. Let her be disgusting and horrible on Facebook, as long as you have support from mates and your boyfriend that's all tht matters.
    If it does start to escalate to the point you are worried about your safety, tell your parents or a teacher. Don't let her rule your life, she will give up eventually and her "mates" will mature and see her for who she really is.
    In the end, the girls that did that to me ended up falling out with each other and running back to me to "help". Told them were to go lol. 10 years later, they are both unhappy individuals.


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    (Original post by SkyS0h1)
    You sound like the sensible one here. Best thing to do is block and delete her off everything and if people come to you to show you what she's been saying tell them firmly and politely that you don't want to know. It can't affect you if you don't see it. And honestly...the rumours...as long as you and those close to you know the real deal I wouldn't even spare them a second thought. She's behaving like a toddler and this isn't some Hollywood High school...people like that will really struggle in life and she'll get her comeuppance very soon believe me.
    Thank you. I feel like you've pointed out something important. Never really thought about letting people know that I don't want to know before. I've blocked her on everything, but always assumed that when people told me about stuff she did it was with sort of my best interests at heart - so I could defend myself from whatever new accusation she was throwing around. Perhaps not.
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    (Original post by hl7495)
    I can totally relat with your last bit about going through stages!! I fell out with mt bestfriend and we disnt speak for months and completely avoided each other and then i out if the blue asked her something by the way and we started to speak agaon and its noway near as good as it was before we fell out but its something. Let her have space and leave her completely and wath what happens!!!

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    See this is where I struggle. I feel like perhaps some of the anger stems from the fact she never apologised. Some of her friends around the same time, like I said, joined in. But they all felt bad afterwards and apologised. She never did. Just got worse.
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    (Original post by mrsx512)
    Karma will get her.
    I dealt with something similar when I was at school, two of my best friends turned in me over something petty and they said a lot of hurtful things about me, made up rumours and pranked called me. It went as severe as leaving death threats on my voicemail and posting letters through my door.
    Chance are, she is jealous of you and is provoking you for a reaction. Best thing to do is to not give her one, and walk away. Let her be disgusting and horrible on Facebook, as long as you have support from mates and your boyfriend that's all tht matters.
    If it does start to escalate to the point you are worried about your safety, tell your parents or a teacher. Don't let her rule your life, she will give up eventually and her "mates" will mature and see her for who she really is.
    In the end, the girls that did that to me ended up falling out with each other and running back to me to "help". Told them were to go lol. 10 years later, they are both unhappy individuals.


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    I don't wish for her to feel this bad, I just want her to recognise that making somebody else feel like this isn't cool. Idk if that makes sense.
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    (Original post by FreckledFeminist)
    Thank you. I feel like you've pointed out something important. Never really thought about letting people know that I don't want to know before. I've blocked her on everything, but always assumed that when people told me about stuff she did it was with sort of my best interests at heart - so I could defend myself from whatever new accusation she was throwing around. Perhaps not.
    Sometimes people just want the drama...Some people get a real kick out of stirring and telling you horrible things other people have said. I know you think she's the fit girl and the it girl and all...trust me that won't last long in the real world. Looks won't get you that far and once people realise she's not that nice her looks wont even matter. She's wasting her time doing stupid stuff like this clearly you've got something she hasn't and she cant be all that if she has to put someone else down to make herself feel better. Don't let her win and don't take her seriously. You'll be over this in a few weeks
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    (Original post by SkyS0h1)
    Sometimes people just want the drama...Some people get a real kick out of stirring and telling you horrible things other people have said. I know you think she's the fit girl and the it girl and all...trust me that won't last long in the real world. Looks won't get you that far and once people realise she's not that nice her looks wont even matter. She's wasting her time doing stupid stuff like this clearly you've got something she hasn't and she cant be all that if she has to put someone else down to make herself feel better. Don't let her win and don't take her seriously. You'll be over this in a few weeks
    Thank you! This actually really helps.
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    (Original post by FreckledFeminist)
    I don't wish for her to feel this bad, I just want her to recognise that making somebody else feel like this isn't cool. Idk if that makes sense.
    No makes total sense. She will recognise it in the end, but not now. Focus on you and your life, dont let her bring you down x


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    (Original post by mrsx512)
    No makes total sense. She will recognise it in the end, but not now. Focus on you and your life, dont let her bring you down x


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    Thank you x
 
 
 
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