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Is it weird that I wouldn't want my Dad to walk me down the aisle? Watch

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    Now, I'm not intending to get married anytime soon, especially since me and my boyfriend are still at university.
    But I was watching something on youtube about weddings, and it got me thinking.
    I HATE the idea of having someone "give" me away. I love my Dad, but he does not own me and I wouldn't be his to give away. I would have been the one that said yes to the proposal.
    And I am not giving myself to my fiance anymore than he is giving himself to me.
    I've never really seen myself as much of a feminist, other than just wanting to be respected as a person, but I found that I feel quite strongly about this.

    I know that if I told this to my parents, they would both be very upset about such a thing. My mother's dad gave her away, and also felt sad that she was the only one of his 4 daughters that he gave away before he died. I am also my Dad's only daughter and I imagine he'd want to walk me down the aisle since it's a tradition that he expects. So hopefully it will be a while before I get married. :erm:

    Does anyone else feel like this too?
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    It's not like that's actually what it means any more, it's just tradition.

    I think you're just being contrary for the sake of it.
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    (Original post by Viva Emptiness)
    It's not like that's actually what it means any more, it's just tradition.

    I think you're just being contrary for the sake of it.

    No, but for the most part it's still sometimes called "giving away" and that's how it started. I just don't feel like it's something I'd want at my wedding, it seems to be a bit of a pointless tradition if he's actually NOT giving me away. I get that other people really want that, especially when they have really good relationships with their dad, but I'd definitely rather walk myself down. Or maybe walk down with my fiance.
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    I think it's perfectly valid to feel however you feel.

    My husband and I walked down the aisle together hand in hand, you can have it however you want.
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    (Original post by flown_muse)
    I think it's perfectly valid to feel however you feel.

    My husband and I walked down the aisle together hand in hand, you can have it however you want.
    I think that sounds so romantic!
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    (Original post by flown_muse)
    My husband and I walked down the aisle together hand in hand, you can have it however you want.
    Aw.
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    Yeah okay, just you hurt your dads feelings and embarrass him over something that shouldn't even matter that much to someone who's getting married
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    The way I see it is that your father is the first man to love you and being his daughter who he's raised up since a baby. He's obviously has a strong bond and attachment to you. So to me...giving away my daughter would be entrusting the guy with her to keep her happy, safe, and take care of her.

    If he doesn't tho there shall be laws broken :ninja::indiff:
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    (Original post by Jordooooom)
    Yeah okay, just you hurt your dads feelings and embarrass him over something that shouldn't even matter that much to someone who's getting married
    Should people not get to have THEIR weddings the way they want? Especially if they're the ones paying for it.
    I'm also sure my mother (and grandmother) would want me to get married in a church. But that sure as hell isn't going to happen.
    My Dad raised me to be an independent person and I'd hope it would be something he could understand. He'd still be a part of the wedding, as he'd get to sit at the main table, make a speech if he wanted to and I'd probably get that dance in with both of my parents.
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    It doesn't mean that any more; everybody know that it's merely tradition. Have fun telling your dad that you don't want him to walk you down the aisle. As Viva Emptiness said, you're just being contrary for the sake of it. It doesn't mean anything and you'd just be being selfish by depriving your dad of the opportunity to walk his daughter down the aisle. No one would think that you're big or clever by going against the norm. Quite the contrary, in fact.
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    (Original post by Keoje)
    The way I see it is that your father is the first man to love you and being his daughter who he's raised up since a baby. He's obviously has a strong bond and attachment to you. So to me...giving away my daughter would be entrusting the guy with her to keep her happy, safe, and take care of her.

    If he doesn't tho there shall be laws broken :ninja::indiff:
    This is true. But the mother also has a bond, since she's the one that carried you for 9 months and gave birth to you. I suppose another option would be to have BOTH parents walking you, because in an ideal world both parents will have been as important as each other in your upbringing.
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    (Original post by beccagood95)
    Should people not get to have THEIR weddings the way they want? Especially if they're the ones paying for it.
    I'm also sure my mother (and grandmother) would want me to get married in a church. But that sure as hell isn't going to happen.
    My Dad raised me to be an independent person and I'd hope it would be something he could understand. He'd still be a part of the wedding, as he'd get to sit at the main table, make a speech if he wanted to and I'd probably get that dance in with both of my parents.
    You sound like one of those spoilt biatches you see on all those wedding programmes.

    "Hey dad, I know you raised me from birth, took care me, protected me and taught me the ways of the world ... buuuuuut im afraid if people see you giving me away they'll think I'm just an object for men to own! So if you could just you know, not stand near me for most of the day, that would be great".

    I think you need to grow up a lot before even thinking of getting married
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    (Original post by beccagood95)
    This is true. But the mother also has a bond, since she's the one that carried you for 9 months and gave birth to you. I suppose another option would be to have BOTH parents walking you, because in an ideal world both parents will have been as important as each other in your upbringing.
    It's just tradition. You can do what you want at your wedding y'know
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    Thats what you would call a ******** move.
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    (Original post by Michael!)
    It doesn't mean that any more; everybody know that it's merely tradition. Have fun telling your dad that you don't want him to walk you down the aisle. As Viva Emptiness said, you're just being contrary for the sake of it. It doesn't mean anything and you'd just be being selfish by depriving your dad of the opportunity to walk his daughter down the aisle. No one would think that you're big or clever by going against the norm. Quite the contrary, in fact.
    Mm, yes, because the point of a wedding is to make yourself look big and clever, rather than arrange a day that starts the beginning of your future with your other half. :rolleyes:
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    It's just tradition, get a grip. You'd regret it in later life when he's not around anymore.
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    (Original post by Jordooooom)
    You sound like one of those spoilt biatches you see on all those wedding programmes.

    "Hey dad, I know you raised me from birth, took care me, protected me and taught me the ways of the world ... buuuuuut im afraid if people see you giving me away they'll think I'm just an object for men to own! So if you could just you know, not stand near me for most of the day, that would be great".

    I think you need to grow up a lot before even thinking of getting married
    Yes, because seeing myself as independent from my parents definitely equals a "spoilt biatch".
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    I think I'm weird because I hate the idea of a big wedding with lots of people there, I mean I want to get married but tbh I wouldn't want any sort of ceremony in a church with people there for it. A few witnesses will be fine, then just leave.. :rolleyes:

    But yeah, I think it would be your own choice in what you want so when you are going to get married just explain it to your dad c:
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    Your wedding, do what you want to.
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    (Original post by beccagood95)
    Mm, yes, because the point of a wedding is to make yourself look big and clever, rather than arrange a day that starts the beginning of your future with your other half. :rolleyes:
    So why don't you stick to tradition, not upset your father and not make a scene. If my daughter turned round and said to me that she didn't want me to walk her down the aisle after everything that I had done for her, I'd be absolutely gutted.

    You might think that it'd show you to be unique and promote your feminist individualism but people would only see you as insensitive and naive.
 
 
 
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