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Feelings for my best friend but can't imagine being with him? watch

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    I'm just a bit confused. I have feelings for one of my best guy friends, but I can't ever imagine being in a relationship with him. It would just be weird. We are such good friends and it would be weird in the group dynamic too. I think the whole thing is totally unrequited by the way, not that I have or will tell him.

    Do you think it'll be possible to get over these feelings while still remaining just as close with him? Or will they just continue to grow?
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    If you like him, like, truly like him, the feelings wont go away any time soon.
    Don't try to get over him, just let things happen, whether you can imagine it or not. Sometimes its just better to let things happen than to keep it all bottled up. Continue being friends with him, act like you usually would. Wait a few months and if you still like him /run/ think about whether you would want to risk ending your friendship for actually being with him or if you want to stay as friends.
    One thing is for sure, If you do ever end up happening to confess, remember that if he's a true friend he wont ignore you or stop talking to you, and he'll most likely tell the truth about his feelings too.
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    (Original post by minaekei)
    If you like him, like, truly like him, the feelings wont go away any time soon.
    Don't try to get over him, just let things happen, whether you can imagine it or not. Sometimes its just better to let things happen than to keep it all bottled up. Continue being friends with him, act like you usually would. Wait a few months and if you still like him /run/ think about whether you would want to risk ending your friendship for actually being with him or if you want to stay as friends.
    One thing is for sure, If you do ever end up happening to confess, remember that if he's a true friend he wont ignore you or stop talking to you, and he'll most likely tell the truth about his feelings too.
    I don't want to tell him because he is very confidant and good looking and he would never go for someone like me so there's no point. I'm too scared. I don't want to lose our friendship it's so important to me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to tell him because he is very confidant and good looking and he would never go for someone like me so there's no point. I'm too scared. I don't want to lose our friendship it's so important to me.

    Don't be so down on yourself


    To be honest, it's perfectly natural for feelings to grow when you're close to someone. But... based on what you've said, it doesn't sound like relationship feelings. You might feel very affectionate towards him sure, but it doesn't sound like you really want him in the way of a boyfriend or these doubts and stuff wouldn't really be there surely?



    Only you really know the circumstances. How old are you by the way? I wouldn't worry about group dynamics if this is a school thing..
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    Don't be so down on yourself


    To be honest, it's perfectly natural for feelings to grow when you're close to someone. But... based on what you've said, it doesn't sound like relationship feelings. You might feel very affectionate towards him sure, but it doesn't sound like you really want him in the way of a boyfriend or these doubts and stuff wouldn't really be there surely?



    Only you really know the circumstances. How old are you by the way? I wouldn't worry about group dynamics if this is a school thing..
    Honestly I have thought about this myself because if I don't want things to go anywhere and would find it weird, do I actually like him? Maybe it's a mix of strong affection for him as a friend and finding him attractive (because he's one of those typical good looking guys) and he is flirty, just naturally. But then I think why do I get jealous even a teensy eensy bit when he is with other girls and why do I feel so confused about my feelisngs towards him surely it should be clear if I just feel friendly towards him. Like some of my other best guy friends, I'd say I'm just as close to a couple others who are also good looking dudes, I just would hate the thought of every doing anything with them, I just wouldn't even think about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Honestly I have thought about this myself because if I don't want things to go anywhere and would find it weird, do I actually like him? Maybe it's a mix of strong affection for him as a friend and finding him attractive (because he's one of those typical good looking guys) and he is flirty, just naturally. But then I think why do I get jealous even a teensy eensy bit when he is with other girls and why do I feel so confused about my feelisngs towards him surely it should be clear if I just feel friendly towards him. Like some of my other best guy friends, I'd say I'm just as close to a couple others who are also good looking dudes, I just would hate the thought of every doing anything with them, I just wouldn't even think about it.

    Maybe there is something there then actually



    To be honest, there's no specific advice anyone can give you on how to handle things. You can decide if you want to investigate it further, this might be by telling him how you feel or by spending some time with him alone and seeing what happens. Someone might reply and say 'just get drunk together and see what happens' but you know how your friendship works and we don't, so you're going to just have to wait and see what happens. He might reciprocate, he might not.


    Other than that you could just leave it and see how you feel a week or so from now. If feelings haven't been there long it' always worth mulling it over a bit.
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    (Original post by Hal.E.Lujah)
    Maybe there is something there then actually



    To be honest, there's no specific advice anyone can give you on how to handle things. You can decide if you want to investigate it further, this might be by telling him how you feel or by spending some time with him alone and seeing what happens. Someone might reply and say 'just get drunk together and see what happens' but you know how your friendship works and we don't, so you're going to just have to wait and see what happens. He might reciprocate, he might not.


    Other than that you could just leave it and see how you feel a week or so from now. If feelings haven't been there long it' always worth mulling it over a bit.
    Haha thank you, you're right. I just have to roll with it and see what happens. Which will be nothing. I am definitely not going to say anything. I'm just stupid because I know he'd never go for me. I always ignore any signs that he isn't interested and focus on ones that I interpret as him maybe feeling the same, which just makes me feel worse in the long run. If he actually felt anything he'd say or at least say something suspicious or try and get with me when drunk. He's the kind of guy who is good with girls.
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    ^Maybe he see's you differently from the way he does those other girls?
    This example might not help, but my friend liked one of my close guy friends and he was a huge flirt and he didn't even realize it. He would always send her mixed signals and treat her differently to other girls he flirted with which made my friend feel like he wasn't interested at all. They both liked each other but no one wanted to make the first move (which led to me just telling them to go out with each other, which they later did haha)

    If you don't feel comfortable with confessing to him, just act like how you normally would and see how your feelings change through a few weeks, then decide based on that what you want to do next. Remember, some guys are really oblivious to people liking them, and others wont make a move at all until they know the person they like likes them back

    Good luck!
 
 
 
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