Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
Hey! I work in a restaurant as a waitress and there's this man who works in the kitchen and he creeps me out! My first few weeks he didn't say anything to me but for the past 2-3 months every time I work (once a week) he makes remarks at me that I find uncomfortable and creepy! The things he has said to me are:

- your hair looks very nice today
- your pretty
- hows your boyfriend
- do you have a boyfriend
- I'm not hitting on you honest
- You're very beautiful
- How old are you?
- What do you do in college?


People said he's just trying to make conversation but its creepy the way he smiles at me like a clown and just stands there and stares at me!

The other kitchen staff has said things to him like "*name* she's way out your league mate"

He's also got this consistent question of "how is Dave*" and I have no clue who this Dave* is but he asks me constantly and when I tell him I have no idea who he is he goes "okay, well tell him I said hi" WTF!

The things he asks just makes me feel uncomfortable and creeps me out! Is this normal for a man to say this to me? He's about 40-55 in age (I have no idea!) and I'm a 17 year old girl! Am I over reacting about this and he's just being friendly or does this seem creepy to others?

* - Name has been changed
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Novascope
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey! I work in a restaurant as a waitress and there's this man who works in the kitchen and he creeps me out! My first few weeks he didn't say anything to me but for the past 2-3 months every time I work (once a week) he makes remarks at me that I find uncomfortable and creepy! The things he has said to me are:

- your hair looks very nice today
- your pretty
- hows your boyfriend
- do you have a boyfriend
- I'm not hitting on you honest
- You're very beautiful
- How old are you?
- What do you do in college?


People said he's just trying to make conversation but its creepy the way he smiles at me like a clown and just stands there and stares at me!

The other kitchen staff has said things to him like "*name* she's way out your league mate"

He's also got this consistent question of "how is Dave*" and I have no clue who this Dave* is but he asks me constantly and when I tell him I have no idea who he is he goes "okay, well tell him I said hi" WTF!

The things he asks just makes me feel uncomfortable and creeps me out! Is this normal for a man to say this to me? He's about 40-55 in age (I have no idea!) and I'm a 17 year old girl! Am I over reacting about this and he's just being friendly or does this seem creepy to others?

* - Name has been changed
Considering you're 17 and he's probably around the same age as someone's father, or just a bit younger, is very creepy. If you were a lot older, I'd probably tell you to just chill and ignore him. But you're far too young. It does sound like he may fancy you. I'm only 18 and I'd find it creepy as well. Maybe you should try being brave and ask him what's his deal? Tell him in a nice way that you don't appreciate the comments he makes and the way he looks at you. If he's anything of a decent man he'll accept it and leave you alone. If not he's definitely a creep and you may want to talk to your manager if you seriously find yourself uncomfortable and unable to work properly around him.
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Stinkum
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#3
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#3
this is so typical. this scenario seems to just keep repeating itself.

1. woman wants attention
2. woman gets attention
3. woman complains about getting attention and labels the man who gave her attention as a creep/weirdo
4. woman comes on tsr to complain about receiving attention from men, despite wanting attention

i don't get it.
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#4
(Original post by Stinkum)
this is so typical. this scenario seems to just keep repeating itself.

1. woman wants attention
2. woman gets attention
3. woman complains about getting attention and labels the man who gave her attention as a creep/weirdo
4. woman comes on tsr to complain about receiving attention from men, despite wanting attention

i don't get it.
I am 17. I hate getting attention from people. Don't judge me and the story just because you think I am the typical female.
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fojodef
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey! I work in a restaurant as a waitress and there's this man who works in the kitchen and he creeps me out! My first few weeks he didn't say anything to me but for the past 2-3 months every time I work (once a week) he makes remarks at me that I find uncomfortable and creepy! The things he has said to me are:

- your hair looks very nice today
- your pretty
- hows your boyfriend
- do you have a boyfriend
- I'm not hitting on you honest
- You're very beautiful
- How old are you?
- What do you do in college?


People said he's just trying to make conversation but its creepy the way he smiles at me like a clown and just stands there and stares at me!

The other kitchen staff has said things to him like "*name* she's way out your league mate"

He's also got this consistent question of "how is Dave*" and I have no clue who this Dave* is but he asks me constantly and when I tell him I have no idea who he is he goes "okay, well tell him I said hi" WTF!

The things he asks just makes me feel uncomfortable and creeps me out! Is this normal for a man to say this to me? He's about 40-55 in age (I have no idea!) and I'm a 17 year old girl! Am I over reacting about this and he's just being friendly or does this seem creepy to others?

* - Name has been changed
quit your job. tell your boss why.
as extreme as this is. i think its just the safest thing to do.

he could be a harmless creep and this is the worst he will get.

but theres also a chance he could get worse. as rare as they are there are dangerous creeps out there and they get locked up for the stuff they do.

i just think its not worth the risk.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#6
(Original post by Novascope)
Considering you're 17 and he's probably around the same age as someone's father, or just a bit younger, is very creepy. If you were a lot older, I'd probably tell you to just chill and ignore him. But you're far too young. It does sound like he may fancy you. I'm only 18 and I'd find it creepy as well. Maybe you should try being brave and ask him what's his deal? Tell him in a nice way that you don't appreciate the comments he makes and the way he looks at you. If he's anything of a decent man he'll accept it and leave you alone. If not he's definitely a creep and you may want to talk to your manager if you seriously find yourself uncomfortable and unable to work properly around him.
Yeah I was thinking about telling the manager if he carries on! There's this new boy in my work place too (he's been there for 3-4 weeks now I think) and he's 16 and whenever he's in this man in the kitchen doesn't say 1 word to me! And whenever he's not in he says loads!

Thankyou for the advice!
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#7
(Original post by fojodef)
quit your job. tell your boss why.
as extreme as this is. i think its just the safest thing to do.

he could be a harmless creep and this is the worst he will get.

but theres also a chance he could get worse. as rare as they are there are dangerous creeps out there and they get locked up for the stuff they do.

i just think its not worth the risk.
I'm currently looking for a new job now for the end of summer (as I'm only 17 this is proving quite difficult). This man is one of the reasons along with another 2-3 reasons!

Thankyou for the advice!
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syrettd
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#8
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Is there any way you can get a different shift time so that you're not working at the same time as him?
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Stinkum
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#9
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#9
he's just trying to be friendly and make conversation. it's really harsh of you to come on here to **** him off like this. really harsh. you're definitely overreacting. it's not like he followed you home or something, he's just smiling and saying random stuff, pfft big deal. Basically, men aren't even allowed to smile at women then. that's what you're basically saying.
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fojodef
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Stinkum)
this is so typical. this scenario seems to just keep repeating itself.

1. woman wants attention
2. woman gets attention
3. woman complains about getting attention and labels the man who gave her attention as a creep/weirdo
4. woman comes on tsr to complain about receiving attention from men, despite wanting attention

i don't get it.
im guessing your a guy.

im guessing you want attention from women.

but im sure theres women out there, who creep you out, who u find repulsive, gross, ugly and that make you uncomfortable.

you ever been stalked by a girl? I have. its some scary ****.
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Dilzo999
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#11
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#11
You don't know who Dave is? I'm not impressed.
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Stinkum
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#12
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#12
(Original post by fojodef)
im guessing your a guy.

im guessing you want attention from women.

but im sure theres women out there, who creep you out, who u find repulsive, gross, ugly and that make you uncomfortable.

you ever been stalked by a girl? I have. its some scary ****.
some people might appear unusual, they may have odd traits or mannerisms, things like that. I don't get uncomfortable around them, I don't try to analyse them. why are people so paranoid and scared of people just because they have a lopsided smile or look a certain way or talk in a particular kind of way.
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Novascope
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#13
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(Original post by Stinkum)
he's just trying to be friendly and make conversation. it's really harsh of you to come on here to **** him off like this. really harsh. you're definitely overreacting. it's not like he followed you home or something, he's just smiling and saying random stuff, pfft big deal. Basically, men aren't even allowed to smile at women then. that's what you're basically saying.
She just said he's creepy. How is that ****ging him off? lmao. I think you're the one that's overreacting.
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fojodef
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#14
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm currently looking for a new job now for the end of summer (as I'm only 17 this is proving quite difficult). This man is one of the reasons along with another 2-3 reasons!

Thankyou for the advice!
thats cool, remember to tell your boss though. i mean if you told your boss now they might be able to try n move you two so that your on separate shifts? might help while your looking for a new job.

id also ask your boss to post you your payslips or give them to you directly rather than have the payslips with everyone elses.

i know in my old work there was just a box of payslips and we all had to route through and find out own but our payslips had our addresses on, which, i wasnt comfortable with everyone in the workplace knowing my address but meh.

like if they might find its a reoccurring problem. or like god forbid if he rapes a girl and theres a difficult case ahead the court might be able to use the fact that his behaviour and advances made a 17 year old female member of staff leave his work place. that would make the case stronger.
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Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#15
(Original post by syrettd)
Is there any way you can get a different shift time so that you're not working at the same time as him?
He works full time and I work part time and as I'm a 17 year old student the only time I can work is on a Sunday as I am a competitive gymnast and train all day Saturdays and am in full time education every weekday!

(Original post by Stinkum)
he's just trying to be friendly and make conversation. it's really harsh of you to come on here to **** him off like this. really harsh. you're definitely overreacting. it's not like he followed you home or something, he's just smiling and saying random stuff, pfft big deal. Basically, men aren't even allowed to smile at women then. that's what you're basically saying.
But if you were a 17 year old female and a 40-55 year old man kept calling you beautiful and stared at you constantly would you not feel uncomfortable?

(Original post by Dilzo999)
You don't know who Dave is? I'm not impressed.
Name had to be changed incase people from workplace are on here! I know who a Dave is totally....
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nohomo
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#16
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#16
That's cute. I think he likes you. You should ask him out.
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Anonymous #1
#17
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#17
(Original post by Stinkum)
he's just trying to be friendly and make conversation. it's really harsh of you to come on here to **** him off like this. really harsh. you're definitely overreacting. it's not like he followed you home or something, he's just smiling and saying random stuff, pfft big deal. Basically, men aren't even allowed to smile at women then. that's what you're basically saying.
How was I ****ging him off? I called him creepy? That's hardly ****ging him off!
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Stinkum
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
He works full time and I work part time and as I'm a 17 year old student the only time I can work is on a Sunday as I am a competitive gymnast and train all day Saturdays and am in full time education every weekday!



But if you were a 17 year old female and a 40-55 year old man kept calling you beautiful and stared at you constantly would you not feel uncomfortable?



Name had to be changed incase people from workplace are on here! I know who a Dave is totally....
I find it weird that you see yourself as a child. You keep mentioning your age, as if you were a 6 year old child...you're not a child. At 17, you're a fully grown adult for God's sake. You're not a kid, sorry to have to break the news! And I don't understand what's so shocking about a man who is in his 40s or 50s. People sometimes tend to place way too much emphasis on or attach too much significance to age.
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Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#19
(Original post by ThatPerson)
What? 50 year old men should not be hitting on 17 year old girls.

The things he has said aren't really that inappropriate(to an extent) but I can see why it can come off as creepy or weird.

Some of the questions are perfectly normal (ie. "What do you do in college?"), while others such as asking if you have a boyfriend or not indicates that he doesn't just want to be friends - which as I said above isn't really appropriate for a ~50 year old.

Is there a way you can change shifts so you don't have to work with him?
Yeah some of the things he says to me I don't mind because they don't make me feel uncomfortable but the others do! & Afraid not He works full time (12-11) every day and I work part time (Sundays - 4pm-8pm) as I am a full time student & competitive sport woman
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syrettd
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
He works full time and I work part time and as I'm a 17 year old student the only time I can work is on a Sunday as I am a competitive gymnast and train all day Saturdays and am in full time education every weekday!
Ok, do you have any friends at work who could talk to him? I was friends with a guy that kept flirting with a girl he worked with and was convinced she had feelings for him. Then some guys he also worked with came up to him and politely told him that he was making her feel uncomfortable and she just wasn't interested.

If he makes any comments that make you feel uncomfortable, like comments on your appearance, just say 'sorry, but you're making me feel uncomfortable'. He might not realise he's doing it. I work with a kind of creepy guy who makes some very obnoxious comments at times. He doesn't realise he's being a tool.
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