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The girl I like is in a long distance relationship.. what should I do? Watch

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    I really like my friend.
    But she has a boyfriend who lives in another country. (Long distance relationship 4+ yrs) She plans to marry him.

    I told her how I feel. She said that I already know she has a boyfriend and that she loves him and that I shouldn't be selfish.

    I said ok I'm sorry, but we can stay friends.

    I'm finding it very difficult. But I want to stay friends with her because we get on really well together and she considers me her close friend.

    I can't tell her how I feel again or it will ruin our friendship. I was already very close to ruining it the first time I told her. She said to me we can't be friends anymore because she doesn't want to see me sad. But I said to her don't worry I will be ok.

    But I'm really not ok.

    It's currently the summer holidays so I haven't seen her for 2 months and I won't see her until October.

    I know she loves somebody else and I should accept that but I am always thinking about her.

    I am always thinking what is she doing, how is she, etc. And I always get jealous and uncomfortable when she is talking to other guys. Why is that? How can I stop thinking like that? I know we are just friends but I get upset too easily. I over analyse every small thing and it's driving me insane.

    I really don't know what to do.

    Also, regarding her boyfriend, he is living in another country and they have only met once, yet they have been talking, skyping for 4yrs. I don't see them being together but she is determined she will.

    Can somebody offer some good advice as to what I should do?
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    I'm sure this thread has been done before? :lolwut:

    I've skim-read the OP and, to be honest, without having even done that, my advice would be the same. Back off, mate... she has a boyfriend. Just 'cause you're sceptical about them working out doesn't mean they won't. I've known a number of people pull off successful, international LDRs.

    If you really can't be 'just friends' with this girl, then I'd suggest you cut all contact and try to move on from this. Lingering around wondering 'what if?' is only going to cause friction between the pair of you and leave you hurt.
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    (Original post by teamfitt10)
    I really like my friend.
    But she has a boyfriend who lives in another country. (Long distance relationship 4+ yrs) She plans to marry him.

    I told her how I feel. She said that I already know she has a boyfriend and that she loves him and that I shouldn't be selfish.

    I said ok I'm sorry, but we can stay friends.

    I'm finding it very difficult. But I want to stay friends with her because we get on really well together and she considers me her close friend.

    I can't tell her how I feel again or it will ruin our friendship. I was already very close to ruining it the first time I told her. She said to me we can't be friends anymore because she doesn't want to see me sad. But I said to her don't worry I will be ok.

    But I'm really not ok.

    It's currently the summer holidays so I haven't seen her for 2 months and I won't see her until October.

    I know she loves somebody else and I should accept that but I am always thinking about her.

    I am always thinking what is she doing, how is she, etc. And I always get jealous and uncomfortable when she is talking to other guys. Why is that? How can I stop thinking like that? I know we are just friends but I get upset too easily. I over analyse every small thing and it's driving me insane.

    I really don't know what to do.

    Also, regarding her boyfriend, he is living in another country and they have only met once, yet they have been talking, skyping for 4yrs. I don't see them being together but she is determined she will.

    Can somebody offer some good advice as to what I should do?
    I know you're going to hate this advice but just don't get too involved.
    Be there for her, as a friend, don't try to make her uncomfortable or else she will definitely try to get you out of her life.

    She has a boyfriend. Leave it.

    Try to move on - but always keep a watchful eye - if you are right, and things don't work out between them, then she'll appreciate you all the more for having been there all along. Don't be mean about her boyfriend, or bad mouth him. Just let her be - if she loves him, don't be the guy that spoils it. You will lose her as a friend.

    And you probably really don't want to know this, but you should, so chances are that because you are thinking about her so much, you are making her out to be better than she really is in your head. You do not know what she would be like as a girlfriend. It's fine that you like her, but thinking about her will make it worse for you. Keep yourself busy. It doesn't matter if it means that you have to spend your whole summer skydiving or learning Swedish, just keep your mind off her, it'll make it a lot easier for you to move on. I know you probably don't want to move on, but it is the best option for you - and you'll probably find someone who'll be able to love you as much as you deserve. Regardless of whether you do move on or not, keeping your mind off her by keeping yourself busy will give her some space.

    If she does one day break up with her boyfriend, then good for you - but you still can't be sure that she'll like you back… Get on with your own life, don't focus yourself solely on her.

    Good luck!
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    What do you do?

    Nothing.
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    dont back off. if u dont go for it, some other guy will. go for it mate. good luck.
 
 
 
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