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I'm scared of having a girlfriend Watch

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    #1

    This may sound utterly ridiculous to most people but I think I have some sort of phobia of girls?

    I'm 18, never done anything with a girl whatsoever (that includes hugging). I'm painfully awkward around girls, like to the extent where I can't even talk properly to any girl I have the faintest hint of attraction to.
    I do want to get a girlfriend but I know that it will never happen in the state I'm in at the moment. People say to me the only way is just to talk to girls more but this only makes matters worse as it just humiliates me and I'm now scared of social interaction with them as it makes me look stupid.

    I'm also afraid of doing anything sexual with a girl like kissing as I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm just going to look like a fool. If I ever have sex with a girl I'm going to terrible at it as I ejaculate in about 2-3 minutes when I masturbate so with a girl this is going to be probably under a minute. I've seen threads on here where people are saying lasting 3 minutes is extremely quick so this just makes me feel really ashamed of myself.

    How can I get out of this mentality and become a normal person?
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    I know what you mean.

    Getting a girlfriend is like contracting a/an STD.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This may sound utterly ridiculous to most people but I think I have some sort of phobia of girls?

    I'm 18, never done anything with a girl whatsoever (that includes hugging). I'm painfully awkward around girls, like to the extent where I can't even talk properly to any girl I have the faintest hint of attraction to.
    I do want to get a girlfriend but I know that it will never happen in the state I'm in at the moment. People say to me the only way is just to talk to girls more but this only makes matters worse as it just humiliates me and I'm now scared of social interaction with them as it makes me look stupid.

    I'm also afraid of doing anything sexual with a girl like kissing as I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm just going to look like a fool. If I ever have sex with a girl I'm going to terrible at it as I ejaculate in about 2-3 minutes when I masturbate so with a girl this is going to be probably under a minute. I've seen threads on here where people are saying lasting 3 minutes is extremely quick so this just makes me feel really ashamed of myself.

    How can I get out of this mentality and become a normal person?
    Hey,friend.

    Don't think about it too much. You are just 18. (believe me,it is still JUST) Your time will come when you will be ready. We all been there.
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    im 22. but my suggestion is you could not take the things like girlfriend too casually.
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    They are just normaleople. Forget about relationships and/gp and have a normal people conversation with a girl.
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    1) Boost up your self esteem. Gaining confidence in yourself is the first step to getting out of that mentality.
    2) Man up. Girls aren't some mythical creature that shouldn't be approached, and they won't bite either. Just talk to them.

    If you want to do anything with a girl whether its being friends or in a relationship then you need to focus on fixing your relationship because, girls do make up half of the population and you can't spend the rest of your life avoiding them lol.

    3) Make friends with a few girls to get more comfortable with being around them. Build up a relationship with someone after.
    4) If you want to last longer in sex, practice. There are many ways to hold it off so keep practicing.

    Don't worry about it all, 18 is still a young age and you've got decades (hopefully) ahead of you to think about this stuff.
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    i think you need to make friends with more girls honestly, then it won't seem like such a big deal.
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    You have every right to be scared.
    • #2
    #2

    As a 23 year old virgin i can tell you that it doesn't get any easier. Do it now and ask a girl out before it's too late.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This may sound utterly ridiculous to most people but I think I have some sort of phobia of girls?

    I'm 18, never done anything with a girl whatsoever (that includes hugging). I'm painfully awkward around girls, like to the extent where I can't even talk properly to any girl I have the faintest hint of attraction to.
    I do want to get a girlfriend but I know that it will never happen in the state I'm in at the moment. People say to me the only way is just to talk to girls more but this only makes matters worse as it just humiliates me and I'm now scared of social interaction with them as it makes me look stupid.

    I'm also afraid of doing anything sexual with a girl like kissing as I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm just going to look like a fool. If I ever have sex with a girl I'm going to terrible at it as I ejaculate in about 2-3 minutes when I masturbate so with a girl this is going to be probably under a minute. I've seen threads on here where people are saying lasting 3 minutes is extremely quick so this just makes me feel really ashamed of myself.

    How can I get out of this mentality and become a normal person?
    1) Stop thinking there is some magical formula to being perfect at sex. Sex IS humiliating in a way. You're naked and doing goofy things to another humiliated person pulling the same dumb faces you are.
    But hot-damn it feels ****ing good.
    You're also allowed to be a bit **** to begin with. Expect it, ACCEPT IT. Like the first time you rode a bike, you sucked nuts no way around it but you learned. Like we all do.
    Just make sure any partner gets off, see to her and it matters not if you;re a 3-pump chump to begin with.

    2) Stop seeing girls as this big scary alien thing that if you do not manage to win is literally fatal. Accept that like sex you are a beginner and a bit **** at socialising. Accept it, embrace it. Make being a bit goofy at socializing part of your charm. I'm a bit of an eccentric myself and being cute and adorable has got me plenty, it can get you some to.
    You need to teach yourself that interacting with girls is no different than interacting with your family or friends (except in the case of these girls you have some desire to hide the salami in the near future).
    They are just flawed and confused and scared human beings like you struggling through life trying to make the best of it. They're flawed human souls like yourself.
    If it's rejection you fear, don't. A rejection isn't social death it's just any given girl deciding she's not that into you, which is fine, normal and to be expected. You're no different when you have no desire for any given woman for your own personal tastes and reasons.

    best of luck fella and enjoy my advice. The hard graft is now yours.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Studentus-anonymous)
    1) Stop thinking there is some magical formula to being perfect at sex. Sex IS humiliating in a way. You're naked and doing goofy things to another humiliated person pulling the same dumb faces you are.
    But hot-damn it feels ****ing good.
    You're also allowed to be a bit **** to begin with. Expect it, ACCEPT IT. Like the first time you rode a bike, you sucked nuts no way around it but you learned. Like we all do.
    Just make sure any partner gets off, see to her and it matters not if you;re a 3-pump chump to begin with.

    2) Stop seeing girls as this big scary alien thing that if you do not manage to win is literally fatal. Accept that like sex you are a beginner and a bit **** at socialising. Accept it, embrace it. Make being a bit goofy at socializing part of your charm. I'm a bit of an eccentric myself and being cute and adorable has got me plenty, it can get you some to.
    You need to teach yourself that interacting with girls is no different than interacting with your family or friends (except in the case of these girls you have some desire to hide the salami in the near future).
    They are just flawed and confused and scared human beings like you struggling through life trying to make the best of it. They're flawed human souls like yourself.
    If it's rejection you fear, don't. A rejection isn't social death it's just any given girl deciding she's not that into you, which is fine, normal and to be expected. You're no different when you have no desire for any given woman for your own personal tastes and reasons.

    best of luck fella and enjoy my advice. The hard graft is now yours.
    No 2 is what i struggle with. I can't approach a girl sexually cos i'm worried about being seen and judged as a pervert. I can only weakly manage to do it in a dark club where nobody can see.

    I can talk to girls fine in a non-sexual work e.g. in school but when it comes to flirting and escalating things then i feel that i shouldn't do it cos i'll get punished and attacked.

    How many girls have you ****ed and how do you become "eccentric, cute and adorable"? I'm afraid of being myself n person. I can make funny jokes online and get lots of positive attention but i cant let it out IRL.
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    Scared? Nah I think you're just finding excuses not to
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    (Original post by fGDu)
    i think you need to make friends with more girls honestly, then it won't seem like such a big deal.
    I think that is something OP is currently struggling with though.
 
 
 
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