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Ways to prevent a FWB from escalating into something else? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    I'm in a situation where there is this girl that I often cuddle or sleep together with usually around once or twice per month. Nothing sexual happens.

    Lately it has become more than a couple of times per week as she moved 3 streets away. Recently she mentioned doing more than just cuddling and wants to go all the way.

    I'm open to it but don't want it to escalate beyond a FWB type situation.

    Can anything be done to ensure it remains just that?

    Have sex, but then cry afterwards.

    Make loud chicken noises every time she tries to form any sort of meaningful emotional attachment.
    • #2

    Don't hang out together a lot, a fwb should really a **** buddy you call when you're in need of something nice. No more no less. Perhaps the odd meal together but nothing regular.

    Unless of course you're both able to detach emotional feelings from physical relationships. If you're going to see each other a lot then you may as well just have a fling or something. I don't think you should ever live so close to a potential FWB.

    But it seems like, from what you've said, you're both kind of are in some sort of relationship with all that cuddling?

    You'll be fine. She will pretend it's fine but for her it will end in tears. I'm in two minds about this. 1) A FWB relationship will hurt her feelings and that's not nice. On the other hand, 2) perhaps it is the only way she will learn to respect her own feelings and not start make-believe relationships in the future.

    So do what you want. (Sorry, I am particularly cynical today.)

    It rarely works smoothly. It's that simple.
    There's a good chance it'll end in tears.

    It's simple. Don't commit, make no sounds or actions that seem committal. Basically only see her for the booty call. No hanging out for any real time before or afterwards.

    Also after a few months (if it lasts that long) no matter what, cut it off.

    But by the sounds of it if you guys cuddle up and all that nonsense, she probably already has feelings for you and is suggesting going all the way because she fancies you and likes you and in some weird way desires the intimacy with you. She may already be hooked.

    In order for it not to escalate, talk to her and explain to her that you're not wanting a relationship right now, if she is happy with that, then full steam ahead. But make sure you don't speak to her in between visits. Literally all your texts should be "what time are you coming over" type of texts, nothing more than this. If this is something that she can't handle, go back to cuddling I guess.

    By the sounds of things, she feels something more, which is why she feels ready with you, so I'd be careful here, because it sounds like she is emotionally invested.
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