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My friends always forget my birthday Watch

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    I think this is the right place to post this. Sorry if it isn't!

    The title says it all really. My group of friends never remember my birthday. It's my 18th this week, and I just got a text from one of my friends to ask me if I can come to a surprise birthday dinner for someone else in the group tomorrow, whose birthday is in mid-August. I know they would never do anything like this for me, and I'm really annoyed that they keep forgetting, every year. Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    They all know when my birthday is, they just never do anything for me, but expect me to buy presents for everyone else. I've know them for seven years. Normally I wouldn't say anything, but I'm tired of it. Is it petty if I don't go to the surprise birthday thing tomorrow? It would make me feel really weird, especially as mine is on Friday.

    EDIT: Thank you for the advice everyone! The issue was never about remembering birthdays in general. We are a group of 8. Somehow they remember and celebrate everyone else's birthdays (even the ones in August), but always forget mine. Normally I wouldn't mind, but I think there's some deeper issues here. Two years ago they spent an entire year talking about me behind my back. We patched things up, I tried to move on, but obviously I still feel like an outsider now. There are probably faults on my side too and I think it would be best for me to take a step back from them for a while. This birthday thing is the straw that broke the camel's back (sorry for the cliche, but cliche's are fun )

    I need to sort things out in my head and work out whether they are real friends and if I can really but the past behind us. I hope this is the mature thing to do, because I really don't want to remember my 18th as being surrounded by a whole load of drama! I don't like drama at all

    Thanks if you read all that btw.
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    You definitely have a right to be annoyed. I mean if they just didn't bother with birthdays in general, fine. But the fact that it's only your birthday that they seem to forget, that's bad. You've known them for quite a long time as well, perhaps they aren't the greatest friends for you? Hopefully they might redeem themselves this year and plan something for you? If it turns out they haven't, are they really the kind of 'friends' you want to have? Do they acknowledge your birthday at all? Like send you a text or get you a small present?
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    (Original post by fortune_33)
    I think this is the right place to post this. Sorry if it isn't!

    The title says it all really. My group of friends never remember my birthday. It's my 18th this week, and I just got a text from one of my friends to ask me if I can come to a surprise birthday dinner for someone else in the group tomorrow, whose birthday is in mid-August. I know they would never do anything like this for me, and I'm really annoyed that they keep forgetting, every year. Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    They all know when my birthday is, they just never do anything for me, but expect me to buy presents for everyone else. I've know them for seven years. Normally I wouldn't say anything, but I'm tired of it. Is it petty if I don't go to the surprise birthday thing tomorrow? It would make me feel really weird, especially as mine is on Friday.
    Did it ever cross your mind that they might be using that as an excuse so you'll turn up? Think of things in a positive light.

    I understand that this seems unlikely, but you never know :yep:

    Do they give you presents/cards every year, or just leave it?

    I know how it feels to be ignored on your birthday - mine's the 30th of August and my friends always forget about it.
    I never get anything - not even so much as a text to say happy birthday.
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    God, I struggle to remember my family members' birthdays, let alone friends.
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    You should confront them about it - I'd never stand for that Forgetting a couple of years is one thing but for seven years is a no-no
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    Haha, my friends are all mega pushy with birthdays. They actually let me pick my present. If they acknowledge each other's but not yours, ask what their problem is. Don't they even wish you a happy birthday?
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    I've had some friends for years who don't know when my birthday is. Probably because I've never bothered telling anyone It's a little awkward that my family don't know when it is though...

    Do you know why they keep forgetting?
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    (Original post by fortunesfool)
    You definitely have a right to be annoyed. I mean if they just didn't bother with birthdays in general, fine. But the fact that it's only your birthday that they seem to forget, that's bad. You've known them for quite a long time as well, perhaps they aren't the greatest friends for you? Hopefully they might redeem themselves this year and plan something for you? If it turns out they haven't, are they really the kind of 'friends' you want to have? Do they acknowledge your birthday at all? Like send you a text or get you a small present?
    (Nice username btw.) My best friend always reminds them. On the year she was on holiday they completely forgot.

    (Original post by Nueth)
    Did it ever cross your mind that they might be using that as an excuse so you'll turn up? Think of things in a positive light.

    I understand that this seems unlikely, but you never know :yep:

    Do they give you presents/cards every year, or just leave it?

    I know how it feels to be ignored on your birthday - mine's the 30th of August and my friends always forget about it.
    I never get anything - not even so much as a text to say happy birthday.
    No cards or anything. I know it's not an excuse to get me to be there (I'd like to think positive too), because they've already told me the excuse they're using for the mid-August birthday. We're all supposed to say we're going to see 22 Jump Street, and instead they're going to surprise her with dinner.

    I suppose I should add a little back story on to this. Two years ago we had a major argument. I found out they'd been talking about me behind my back for about a year, and were only pretending to be my friends (my best friend didn't know about that.) We made up, but ever since then I've felt like a huge outsider, and it feels like this is just another thing confirming it. I'm terrible at forgiving and forgetting, and now all I can think about is how backstabbing they were. I feel like an awful person for wanting to think the worst of them now.
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    [QUOTE=fortune_33;48493031](Nice username btw.) My best friend always reminds them. On the year she was on holiday they completely forgot.



    Thank you! You too! It seems like perhaps you ought to stick with your best friend. Not saying that you have to stop being friends with them, but they don't seem to be interested. I imagine that they are like this in day to day life as well? Do they forget to invite you to places etc? You could speak to them about it and/or distance yourself from them?
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    Next time it's their birthday, just don't say anything. see how they like it
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    (Original post by Dani California)
    Haha, my friends are all mega pushy with birthdays. They actually let me pick my present. If they acknowledge each other's but not yours, ask what their problem is. Don't they even wish you a happy birthday?
    Haha I always pick my present from my Mum. Who better to know what I want than me?

    We have a group of eight. Two do acknowledge it, the rest don't.
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    (Original post by fortune_33)
    Haha I always pick my present from my Mum. Who better to know what I want than me?

    We have a group of eight. Two do acknowledge it, the rest don't.
    Say something, that's so mean!
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    [QUOTE=fortunesfool;48493089]
    (Original post by fortune_33)
    (Nice username btw.) My best friend always reminds them. On the year she was on holiday they completely forgot.



    Thank you! You too! It seems like perhaps you ought to stick with your best friend. Not saying that you have to stop being friends with them, but they don't seem to be interested. I imagine that they are like this in day to day life as well? Do they forget to invite you to places etc? You could speak to them about it and/or distance yourself from them?
    Problem is we're a group of eight and she's really close to them too. I feel like I'd have to force her to pick sides, and that she would have to chose them because there's more of them. I guess this whole thing shows I don't really trust them very much, because I'm willing to think the worst of them, even though they're all nice enough people. If I distance myself from them I don't think I would have any friends.
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    (Original post by fortune_33)

    Problem is we're a group of eight and she's really close to them too. I feel like I'd have to force her to pick sides, and that she would have to chose them because there's more of them. I guess this whole thing shows I don't really trust them very much, because I'm willing to think the worst of them, even though they're all nice enough people. If I distance myself from them I don't think I would have any friends.

    Hmm, that is a tough situation. Are you willing to speak to them? Can you meet new people and make some new friends? Are you going to start Uni/college soon?
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    Birthdays aren't all that tbh, too much pressure to have "the best time evarrr on your 18th" too, think I'd be happy just going out and someone else paying for my meal at this point tbh
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    I can never understand why people are expected to remember birthdays that ain't theirs tbh. Unless you've eaten a calender, it's unrealistic to keep track of all 365 days in the year.
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    (Original post by Majin Vegeta)
    I can never understand why people are expected to remember birthdays that ain't theirs tbh. Unless you've eaten a calender, it's unrealistic to keep track of all 365 days in the year.
    Lol that did make me laugh. It's less about them remembering my birthday, more to do with the fact that for the past seven years they've remembered everyone else's birthdays and forgotten mine. If everyone's had been forgotten I wouldn't care at all (that makes me sound like such a grinch ) I feel like I'm less important to them and am the outsider in our group.
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    (Original post by fortune_33)
    No cards or anything. I know it's not an excuse to get me to be there (I'd like to think positive too), because they've already told me the excuse they're using for the mid-August birthday. We're all supposed to say we're going to see 22 Jump Street, and instead they're going to surprise her with dinner.

    I suppose I should add a little back story on to this. Two years ago we had a major argument. I found out they'd been talking about me behind my back for about a year, and were only pretending to be my friends (my best friend didn't know about that.) We made up, but ever since then I've felt like a huge outsider, and it feels like this is just another thing confirming it. I'm terrible at forgiving and forgetting, and now all I can think about is how backstabbing they were. I feel like an awful person for wanting to think the worst of them now.
    Still could be :yep:

    Awh, that's horrible Do you want to be friends with them still?
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    Tom Jones forgot mine this year. I have had greetings from him for the previous three years.
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    (Original post by fortune_33)
    I think this is the right place to post this. Sorry if it isn't!

    The title says it all really. My group of friends never remember my birthday. It's my 18th this week, and I just got a text from one of my friends to ask me if I can come to a surprise birthday dinner for someone else in the group tomorrow, whose birthday is in mid-August. I know they would never do anything like this for me, and I'm really annoyed that they keep forgetting, every year. Do I have a right to be annoyed?

    They all know when my birthday is, they just never do anything for me, but expect me to buy presents for everyone else. I've know them for seven years. Normally I wouldn't say anything, but I'm tired of it. Is it petty if I don't go to the surprise birthday thing tomorrow? It would make me feel really weird, especially as mine is on Friday.
    Yes you have a right to be annoyed! I would be too! I'm in a similar situation with some of my friends! There's two in a group I don't particularly like but we still make the effort with each other and talk like normal friends. On my birthday I was sat in the canteen with them and my other friends and EVERYONE in the canteen sang happy birthday to me and then these two girls didn't even look at me let alone say happy birthday! That's not too much to ask for! I really think you should tell your friends how you feel! If they carry on acting the way they are then I personally would just go out and enjoy myself with the friends I know care and make new friends!
 
 
 
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