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Best way to get ahead of University? INTROVERSION Watch

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    On my undergraduate degree, I succumbed to wanting strong relationships from people on the course, but, for the most parts, my soul was sapped because of the rejection that I faced by my peers. My studies suffered as a result. In hindsight, they just weren’t worth it. Now, I realised that I cared far too much about what people thought about me; people whom I would never see again when I graduated.

    When reading posts on this forum, I see a lot of people making the same mistakes that I did: Caring too much what a bunch of insignificant students think of them. There’s no need. Streamline everything and, maybe, just maybe, you will see an improvement in your marks.

    That is why, when I am going back to university, I hope to practice introversion to the extreme.
    Who’s with me?
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    Um.......


    I'm not, i like social interaction and would find university hell without it.
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    (Original post by Kasa)
    On my undergraduate degree, I succumbed to wanting strong relationships from people on the course, but, for the most parts, my soul was sapped because of the rejection that I faced by my peers. My studies suffered as a result. In hindsight, they just weren’t worth it. Now, I realised that I cared far too much about what people thought about me; people whom I would never see again when I graduated.

    When reading posts on this forum, I see a lot of people making the same mistakes that I did: Caring too much what a bunch of insignificant students think of them. There’s no need. Streamline everything and, maybe, just maybe, you will see an improvement in your marks.

    That is why, when I am going back to university, I hope to practice introversion to the extreme.
    Who’s with me?
    I'm thinking of doing it myself, although I haven't started uni yet. But will this affect our grades in terms of groupwork and stuff if we can't get along with people.
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    It's all about finding the right balance really. Building good relationships with people on your course can make your university experience far more enjoyable, and you've got people to help you out with work when necessary. Obviously, you've got to remember that your primary focus at university should be to get yourself a good degree, and so you shouldn't let other people get in the way of doing your best work.
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    you can do well and still have friends you don't have to like everyone you are there with but its healthy to have good friendships. it seems a bit sad to cut your self of like that
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    Gosh you sound like my mother :hmmm:

    No I shan't I need my social interaction, I'd loathe being alone 'tis not good for my ENFJ :teehee:
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    I like the way you think
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    (Original post by Kasa)
    On my undergraduate degree, I succumbed to wanting strong relationships from people on the course, but, for the most parts, my soul was sapped because of the rejection that I faced by my peers. My studies suffered as a result. In hindsight, they just weren’t worth it. Now, I realised that I cared far too much about what people thought about me; people whom I would never see again when I graduated.

    When reading posts on this forum, I see a lot of people making the same mistakes that I did: Caring too much what a bunch of insignificant students think of them. There’s no need. Streamline everything and, maybe, just maybe, you will see an improvement in your marks.

    That is why, when I am going back to university, I hope to practice introversion to the extreme.
    Who’s with me?
    I'm introverted, shy, don't like to drink and go clubbing and can be very socially awkward at times, so I also find it very hard to fit in and make friends.
    Nevertheless I can't imagine having a good time at uni if I'm always lonely and have no friends, so I'm going to at least try. Though you do have a point about not worrying too much about what others think, I'm going to need to work on that!
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    You might find shunning social contact will help your university grades. However, it might leave you unsupported and unhappy, which could make your grades worse and ruin your time. If you desocialise yourself and never develop the ability to get along with others / in a team, you will also make yourself very unemployable in most fields, regardless of your degree.

    Trying to get people to like you, and facing social rejection (and coping with it) isn't an issue that will go away when you've finished studying. The people you work with aren't "insignificant". Better to find ways of dealing with the problem than to literally hide away from it. You propose a short term solution that will make things worse in the long term, imo.
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    (Original post by BeanofJelly)
    You might find shunning social contact will help your university grades. However, it might leave you unsupported and unhappy, which could make your grades worse and ruin your time. If you desocialise yourself and never develop the ability to get along with others / in a team, you will also make yourself very unemployable in most fields, regardless of your degree.

    Trying to get people to like you, and facing social rejection (and coping with it) isn't an issue that will go away when you've finished studying. The people you work with aren't "insignificant". Better to find ways of dealing with the problem than to literally hide away from it. You propose a short term solution that will make things worse in the long term, imo.
    I agree with what you're saying, and unlike Kasa, I have a different strategy in mind. I'll probably make acquaintances rather than friends in uni. In another words, lots of superficial relationships. Its pointless to go beyond these kinds of relationships. The way I see it, the only way to be helpful is to be useful. Even if you can get along with everyone and be the 'life of the party', if you're incompetent, no amount of friendliness/closeness you have with another individual will compensate for it. On the other hand, if you're useful/good at what you do, people would always find a way to liaise with you with any problems they have(which would create opportunities for you). I guess its more of a kind of networking session rather than a genuine friendship mentality that I would be going for.
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    (Original post by Kasa)
    On my undergraduate degree, I succumbed to wanting strong relationships from people on the course, but, for the most parts, my soul was sapped because of the rejection that I faced by my peers. My studies suffered as a result. In hindsight, they just weren’t worth it. Now, I realised that I cared far too much about what people thought about me; people whom I would never see again when I graduated.

    When reading posts on this forum, I see a lot of people making the same mistakes that I did: Caring too much what a bunch of insignificant students think of them. There’s no need. Streamline everything and, maybe, just maybe, you will see an improvement in your marks.

    That is why, when I am going back to university, I hope to practice introversion to the extreme.
    Who’s with me?

    Speaking from experience OP,PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS!!! It's not healthy.

    I, too, set out this past academic year to completely cut myself off from society. My mental health has deteriorated so much that I was unable to sit my AS-level exams and am now seeing a therapist. You'll feel so lonely, sad and tired and may even become depressed which will have a detrimental imapct on your grades

    It seems like you may have social anxiety, OP - I went through a similar phase of really caring about what other people thought of me; losing friends and feeling maltreated; and then moving onto bitter, blissful isolation. My therapist suspects that I may have it...


    I really think that you should try socialising in small doses and have at least one friend whom you can confide in at university. I'd love it if I could help you in some way...you can PM me if you'd like
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    introversion to the extreme...i like it
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    can I just say to people who plan to do this how bad of an idea it is.
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    (Original post by 93jm)
    can I just say to people who plan to do this how bad of an idea it is.
    Amen.
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    (Original post by Jess_x)
    Speaking from experience OP,PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS!!! It's not healthy.

    I, too, set out this past academic year to completely cut myself off from society. My mental health has deteriorated so much that I was unable to sit my AS-level exams and am now seeing a therapist. You'll feel so lonely, sad and tired and may even become depressed which will have a detrimental imapct on your grades

    It seems like you may have social anxiety, OP - I went through a similar phase of really caring about what other people thought of me; losing friends and feeling maltreated; and then moving onto bitter, blissful isolation. My therapist suspects that I may have it...


    I really think that you should try socialising in small doses and have at least one friend whom you can confide in at university. I'd love it if I could help you in some way...you can PM me if you'd like
    I am sorry to hear this... I guess I may need help..

    But insular introversion isn't nesscarily a bad thing; especially if you are as sensitive as I am
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    No toga parties then :O?
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    (Original post by Kasa)
    I am sorry to hear this... I guess I may need help..

    But insular introversion isn't nesscarily a bad thing; especially if you are as sensitive as I am
    Irrespective of how hurt, determined and betrayed you may be feeling, Kasa, "no man is an island" as Ben Howard once penned, and as a human being, you really need social contact. You should definitely seek help so that you're comfortable with interacting with other people without being afraid..
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      What do you mean practise introversion? That doesn't make sense to me.
     
     
     
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