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    I recently went to see my GP about my recurring issues in regards to my mood. He gave me some information about GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) and referred me to a psychologist. Unfortunately, the waiting list is very long and I cannot see one until the end of summer. Every summer I go into a state of mental collapse, but so far, this summer has been unlike any other. Almost every day I wake up anxious for no apparent reason and from there the day usually worsens and I have panic attacks which can last up to an hour. I think I have always been moderately depressed, but I was able to deal with it by keeping busy.

    I am exercising as much as I can, taking summer classes, reading, but nothing will lift the foul mood I am always in and there is always 'white noise' in the background of every activity I partake in. I feel so drained, my motivation for anything is zero (I forced myself to do things at the beginning, but this is becoming harder), self esteem is rock bottom. Even during good experiences, such as doing well at university this year, I am capable of finding flaw. I am constantly in aches and pains, have regular headaches and my appetite has reduced dramatically, as well as my bowel movements; from which I suffer occasional pain for no apparent reason. I am having difficulty sleeping and in turn have difficulty getting out of bed come morning. Any interrupted sleep I get is usually plagued by nightmares. Are these just symptoms of anxiety or is it possible there is something more sinister going on; such as depression?

    With the aforementioned panic attacks, I get incredibly impulsive between the waves of having an outer body experience. I don't want to annoy my GP as I often feel as though he thinks I am a hypochondriac of sorts; even though I attend, at most, once a year. Due to this, it has taken me seven years to pluck up the courage to seek medical advice on this issue. The thought of taking medication makes me anxious as I have friends who have taken various anti-depressants and their respective conditions deteriorated.

    Has anyone combated these feelings with just counselling, herbal remedies or even activites? Does anyone have any positive experiences of medication in treating GAD and/or depression? I am going into final year of a non-vocational degree in September and I really need to sort this out immediately. I don't want to be starting medication in the first week of university and have any side affects that could potentially affect my performance. I apologise if this reads as inane rambling. I also feel like I'm losing my mind.
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    My non-professional, random-dude-on-the-internet opinion is that yes, you are depressed, although I'm not sure I'd class that as more "sinister" than anything else, especially anxiety ("sinister" enough on and of its own, don't you think?). You'd be surprised how many people around you are struggling with hurdles of their own. Depression, anxiety and similar issues are nothing to be ashamed of and certainly not any kind of rarity these days, so shame on anyone who makes you feel like it is.

    Your GP sounds like a ****.

    What is it about summer that makes you feel so bad?

    I think you are right to call these things symptoms. It seems to me all of these symptoms are results and off-shoots of some past trauma - abuse, rejection, bullying, neglect, whatever - that has not been dealt with. Whatever it was you are now at an age where you can confront it: first by processing it internally in your own mind (this happened, then that happened, this made me feel this way, that made me react that way, etc) and secondly by laying it out before your psychologist when the time comes. No shame in taking medication but bare in mind that medication largely quells your psyche's reaction to (undealt with issues) instead of actually resolving anything, potentially leaving you dependent on the medication to function and at the same time not resolving whatever it is you've got going on.

    Do your best to channel your energy into productive, rewarding activities: even getting up and cleaning your room can be surprisingly satisfying, certainly more so than just laying in your bed wanting to die. Take things day by day and set achievable goals for yourself. Surround yourself with positive people and don't hesitate to speak out whenever you need to.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Bumping as you've had no replies.
    Thanks!

    (Original post by Velasco)
    My non-professional, random-dude-on-the-internet opinion is that yes, you are depressed, although I'm not sure I'd class that as more "sinister" than anything else, especially anxiety ("sinister" enough on and of its own, don't you think?). You'd be surprised how many people around you are struggling with hurdles of their own. Depression, anxiety and similar issues are nothing to be ashamed of and certainly not any kind of rarity these days, so shame on anyone who makes you feel like it is.

    Your GP sounds like a ****.

    What is it about summer that makes you feel so bad?

    I think you are right to call these things symptoms. It seems to me all of these symptoms are results and off-shoots of some past trauma - abuse, rejection, bullying, neglect, whatever - that has not been dealt with. Whatever it was you are now at an age where you can confront it: first by processing it internally in your own mind (this happened, then that happened, this made me feel this way, that made me react that way, etc) and secondly by laying it out before your psychologist when the time comes. No shame in taking medication but bare in mind that medication largely quells your psyche's reaction to (undealt with issues) instead of actually resolving anything, potentially leaving you dependent on the medication to function and at the same time not resolving whatever it is you've got going on.

    Do your best to channel your energy into productive, rewarding activities: even getting up and cleaning your room can be surprisingly satisfying, certainly more so than just laying in your bed wanting to die. Take things day by day and set achievable goals for yourself. Surround yourself with positive people and don't hesitate to speak out whenever you need to.
    Thank you for the response and great advice.

    The reason summer is so crippling for me, I can only guess, is the lack of stimulation in every aspect of my life. Having so much time to kill is a... real killer for me. Too much time to think. It's not a case of doing more, it's a case of nothing being satisfying. Things are also not ideal at home, which I don't want to go into too much depth about.

    In the past I have kept busy as much as I can over these months: sport, part time job, voracious reading and a night class or two. All of which I am currently doing this summer, but to no avail. You are right in saying that some of (if not a majority of this) may be caused by "off-shoots of some past trauma - abuse, rejection, bullying, neglect", all of which I have suffered and am beginning to realise that, although I thought I dealt with these issues, I merely pushed them away. I also had my heart broken at the beginning of the summer, which only added fuel to the fire.

    I feel like I don't have an 'OFF' button. I do not know how to relax and constantly put myself under immense pressure in every area of my life and get unreasonably upset when success is not imminent. I am very much aware of others struggles and I also feel that part of my problem is that I feel so done, whilst others in the same boat are capable of just getting on with it; which of course fuels anxiety about the kind of person I am and my many, many flaws. Thank you also for the heads-up about treating depression with medication. I want to get better, so I guess that is half the battle already. My biggest fear is that this is the beginning of the rest of my life...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in no position to tell you whether you've 'got depression' or not, but I just wanted to add a note about anti-depressants. They are not, according to my GP etc., addictive and will not result in dependency. They also won't solve the underlying issues, rather just balance you out a little so you're able to tackle those in therapy.

    I've more personal experience in this field than I'd care to remember, so if you wanted to PM me and talk more, I'd be happy to respond and try to help if possible. If not, good luck on your journey, OP, I wish you all the best. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Freudian Slip)
    I'm in no position to tell you whether you've 'got depression' or not, but I just wanted to add a note about anti-depressants. They are not, according to my GP etc., addictive and will not result in dependency. They also won't solve the underlying issues, rather just balance you out a little so you're able to tackle those in therapy.

    I've more personal experience in this field than I'd care to remember, so if you wanted to PM me and talk more, I'd be happy to respond and try to help if possible. If not, good luck on your journey, OP, I wish you all the best. :hugs:
    That is comforting. Thank you very much for the offer, but I'm holding on tight right now until my assessment and maybe I'll contact you then once I know exactly what I'm dealing with.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for the response and great advice.

    The reason summer is so crippling for me, I can only guess, is the lack of stimulation in every aspect of my life. Having so much time to kill is a... real killer for me. Too much time to think. It's not a case of doing more, it's a case of nothing being satisfying. Things are also not ideal at home, which I don't want to go into too much depth about.

    In the past I have kept busy as much as I can over these months: sport, part time job, voracious reading and a night class or two. All of which I am currently doing this summer, but to no avail. You are right in saying that some of (if not a majority of this) may be caused by "off-shoots of some past trauma - abuse, rejection, bullying, neglect", all of which I have suffered and am beginning to realise that, although I thought I dealt with these issues, I merely pushed them away. I also had my heart broken at the beginning of the summer, which only added fuel to the fire.

    I feel like I don't have an 'OFF' button. I do not know how to relax and constantly put myself under immense pressure in every area of my life and get unreasonably upset when success is not imminent. I am very much aware of others struggles and I also feel that part of my problem is that I feel so done, whilst others in the same boat are capable of just getting on with it; which of course fuels anxiety about the kind of person I am and my many, many flaws. Thank you also for the heads-up about treating depression with medication. I want to get better, so I guess that is half the battle already. My biggest fear is that this is the beginning of the rest of my life...
    You're welcome, it's no problem.

    It's hard to give educated opinions/suggestions since there are very significant bits you're leaving out (your prerogative, of course). If the things you're doing aren't satisfying [enough] then find things that are: set short-term, achievable goals, and work towards them. That can be in your work out regime, or learning a new skill, or finishing a book you've always wanted to, or trying something new for the first time, making new friends, picking up a hobby, etc.

    If things aren't going great at home, find other places to be. Youth clubs, gym, and various other activities (not including drinking-centric ones) can get you out the house all day so you only pop in to sleep´for a few hours.

    It sounds like you could do with a little perspective: focus a little less on how difficult things are for you and how much easier (they seem to be) for others, and start paying attention to the struggles of other's around you. In the grander scheme of things you live a sheltered, highly privileged life in a first world country. You have a multitude of resources, possibilities and opportunities that would boggle the mind of the overwhelming majority of billions of people worldwide. Nothing you are going through is unique to you - you are not being unfairly targeted by the universe. There are many others going through the same and worse, and it's up to you how you digest and deal with that - do you give up and feel sorry for yourself, or do you rally and push through to reach the other side of the river, so to speak? Think of this as an opportunity to show yourself (and the universe) what you are made of, what kind of man you are. Are you a wimp who is going to give up on things, on himself, or a fighter who will overcome the obstacles and achieve, at the end of things?

    This is just one phase of many others in your life, there is plenty of good and bad to look forward to.

    I could probably give better advice if you PM'd me, so hit up my inbox.
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    (Original post by Velasco)
    You're welcome, it's no problem.

    It's hard to give educated opinions/suggestions since there are very significant bits you're leaving out (your prerogative, of course). If the things you're doing aren't satisfying [enough] then find things that are: set short-term, achievable goals, and work towards them. That can be in your work out regime, or learning a new skill, or finishing a book you've always wanted to, or trying something new for the first time, making new friends, picking up a hobby, etc.

    If things aren't going great at home, find other places to be. Youth clubs, gym, and various other activities (not including drinking-centric ones) can get you out the house all day so you only pop in to sleep´for a few hours.

    It sounds like you could do with a little perspective: focus a little less on how difficult things are for you and how much easier (they seem to be) for others, and start paying attention to the struggles of other's around you. In the grander scheme of things you live a sheltered, highly privileged life in a first world country. You have a multitude of resources, possibilities and opportunities that would boggle the mind of the overwhelming majority of billions of people worldwide. Nothing you are going through is unique to you - you are not being unfairly targeted by the universe. There are many others going through the same and worse, and it's up to you how you digest and deal with that - do you give up and feel sorry for yourself, or do you rally and push through to reach the other side of the river, so to speak? Think of this as an opportunity to show yourself (and the universe) what you are made of, what kind of man you are. Are you a wimp who is going to give up on things, on himself, or a fighter who will overcome the obstacles and achieve, at the end of things?

    This is just one phase of many others in your life, there is plenty of good and bad to look forward to.

    I could probably give better advice if you PM'd me, so hit up my inbox.
    You're right and I am aware of that; that my troubles are woefully insignificant in comparison to others, but it really is something else beyond my control weighing me down. I may well PM you in the future and thanks once more for your advice. Anyway, just a quick update: I've been playing a lot of sport, a few things bugging me are largely resolved, I'm still working part-time and managed to nab a summer internship that will be of great worth for my future endeavors prior to graduating. I'm feeling good, but anxiety is still persistent in the evenings as are the key components of depression. They both feel slightly more manageable now though. The physical symptoms have somewhat alleviated. I have found that completely cutting out caffeine has helped a little with the anxiety. I won't be cancelling my appointment anytime soon, however, as the depression I experience tends to come in waves of severity every few weeks.
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    Best of luck!
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    Hi guys, just a quick update. Spoke with a counselor (I think) last week. My case was reviewed on Wednesday and a GP has recommended I begin taking Citalopam 10mg. Has anyone else taken this? How was it for you? Also, I'm off overseas in the next few days and then moving back to uni... Should I begin the medication right away or wait until I have returned?
 
 
 
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