How to meet guys in your 20's?!!

I really should have just had a field day at university BUT I didn't know who I was back then and was really shy...so I was just a wallflower. I'm pretty secure in myself these days, not shy at all - quietly confident.

Problem is I work full time and have one day off per week. Dating work colleagues is a no-go 1) because I've done that before and learnt my lesson and 2) I don't fancy any of my colleagues 3) Just no.

I don't know how to meet guys...I don't have close 'girl-friends' - just acquaintances and some good friends who work too or who have moved away (''adult'' friendships i.e. best friends turned e-mail correspondents!).

So I'm thinking - join a club and do something for a few hours on my day off (le sigh). But what type of clubs do people my age (early to mid 20's) go to? I'm not into clubbing or nightlife and the type of guys you generally meet there aren't looking for a relationship (well, not one that lasts more than an evening) - I'm thinking more of a day time club...but what? And where do you find a directory (wtf? I know) of such clubs?

I've looked at a couple of dating sites but the guys aren't my type - they're either really outgoing and full of themselves or the complete opposite. I think maybe dating sites are a bad idea...

I just want to meet a sane guy who has some ambition, manners, intellect, respect, a job and maybe looks quite nice.

Seriously...this is difficult. Ideas?

Reply 1

fnatic NateDestiel

18

Best advice Craigslist, had a lot of good fun on there. So Craigslist personals MSW

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by fnatic NateDestiel

Best advice Craigslist, had a lot of good fun on there. So Craigslist personals MSW

Hmm, I've read some stuff about that website in the news!

Reply 3

fnatic NateDestiel

18

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm, I've read some stuff about that website in the news!

Beware though if you are putting ads up - we all know what happened in project x :yep:

Reply 4

holmes221

18

Original post by Anonymous

I really should have just had a field day at university BUT I didn't know who I was back then and was really shy...so I was just a wallflower. I'm pretty secure in myself these days, not shy at all - quietly confident.

Problem is I work full time and have one day off per week. Dating work colleagues is a no-go 1) because I've done that before and learnt my lesson and 2) I don't fancy any of my colleagues 3) Just no.

I don't know how to meet guys...I don't have close 'girl-friends' - just acquaintances and some good friends who work too or who have moved away (''adult'' friendships i.e. best friends turned e-mail correspondents!).

So I'm thinking - join a club and do something for a few hours on my day off (le sigh). But what type of clubs do people my age (early to mid 20's) go to? I'm not into clubbing or nightlife and the type of guys you generally meet there aren't looking for a relationship (well, not one that lasts more than an evening) - I'm thinking more of a day time club...but what? And where do you find a directory (wtf? I know) of such clubs?

I've looked at a couple of dating sites but the guys aren't my type - they're either really outgoing and full of themselves or the complete opposite. I think maybe dating sites are a bad idea...

I just want to meet a sane guy who has some ambition, manners, intellect, respect, a job and maybe looks quite nice.

Seriously...this is difficult. Ideas?

Join an art society as a post student.
Or ideally Go out to a bar. If you're going to put off social situations how do you hope to meet boys?

Reply 5

Trigger

18

TBh i found joining twitter reay great. You easily meet loads of people in your local community and there is always a meet up or something. Its a blast, you meet people really naturally rather than the forced context of a dating website.

Reply 6

WelshBluebird

16

Internet (dating sites, or other sites even like TSR - not all of us guys are like you describe), friends of friends, etc.
Just get to know as many people as you can really (PM me if you like lol).

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 7

mynameisntbobk

18

Saw the title and thought it was the why don't people in their 20s join social groups guy

Check out TSR Movie Madness

Reply 8

ihavemooedtoday

17

Original post by Anonymous

I really should have just had a field day at university BUT I didn't know who I was back then and was really shy...so I was just a wallflower. I'm pretty secure in myself these days, not shy at all - quietly confident.

Problem is I work full time and have one day off per week. Dating work colleagues is a no-go 1) because I've done that before and learnt my lesson and 2) I don't fancy any of my colleagues 3) Just no.

I don't know how to meet guys...I don't have close 'girl-friends' - just acquaintances and some good friends who work too or who have moved away (''adult'' friendships i.e. best friends turned e-mail correspondents!).

So I'm thinking - join a club and do something for a few hours on my day off (le sigh). But what type of clubs do people my age (early to mid 20's) go to? I'm not into clubbing or nightlife and the type of guys you generally meet there aren't looking for a relationship (well, not one that lasts more than an evening) - I'm thinking more of a day time club...but what? And where do you find a directory (wtf? I know) of such clubs?

I've looked at a couple of dating sites but the guys aren't my type - they're either really outgoing and full of themselves or the complete opposite. I think maybe dating sites are a bad idea...

I just want to meet a sane guy who has some ambition, manners, intellect, respect, a job and maybe looks quite nice.

Seriously...this is difficult. Ideas?

There are plenty of ways to meet people without going the online route or drinking. I would say drinking and clubbing is a pretty crappy way of meeting guys if you aren't interested in guys that just want one night stands.

How about joining a club doing something you love?

Since you are looking for a guy that has "ambition, manners, intellect, respect, a job", I am assuming you are also an interesting person and has interesting hobbies you are passionate about?

Don't just join something because there are young guys doing that. You'll just end up hating it.

Reply 9

donutaud15

22

Be patient with dating sites.

Reply 10

miser

20

People in their 20s don't join social clubs. :hand:

But seriously just look for clubs and courses in your local area and try anything that looks like a bit of fun for you. You could also ask your friends to introduce you to people in their social circle that you haven't met before.

Reply 11

Dr Pesto

19

Original post by miser

People in their 20s don't join social clubs. :hand:

But seriously just look for clubs and courses in your local area and try anything that looks like a bit of fun for you. You could also ask your friends to introduce you to people in their social circle that you haven't met before.

Haha, somebody had to say it.

And to the OP I would say, don't be so quick to dismiss bars and clubs as places to meet people, I met my last girlfriend at a bar.

Reply 12

Genocidal

19

I've seen those dating sites myself before. You're right. Everyone does seem really outgoing. It's why I got away from them quick purely because I find those sorts of people incredibly dull and boring. Going out with friends is not what I would call a hobby or an interest. It's just sort of there.

I'm not too sure what advice to give you. I myself don't like bars or clubbing or any of that nonsense, so it's tough. I would recommend that you just don't let it get to you and move on with your life. If you meet someone, you meet someone. If you don't, you don't.

I know people are recommending clubs, but the problem is you aren't there to get into a relationship. And you shouldn't be joining a club unless you have a real interest in what it's all about. So if your heart isn't in it, don't join a club.

Reply 13

superduper9

10

Original post by Anonymous

I just want to meet a sane guy who has some ambition, manners, intellect, respect, a job and maybe looks quite nice.

Seriously...this is difficult. Ideas?

Join the club - except I just want to meet a sane girl who has some ambition, manners, intellect, respect, a job and maybe looks quite nice :smile:

Some things I've tried (with moderate success):

1. Ask friends / people I work with to introduce me to new girls or just go along for a drink after work and meet a girl from a different department or someone who just happens to be there at the place.

2. I'm part of a running club - so get to meet new people that way. Although it's not very easy to approach a girl in this context. So you could join a club based on a hobby / interest of yours. However, if it goes wrong, you keep seeing them at the club which is not always great.

3. Make myself look friendly and smile when on tubes, trains or just when out so I can have the chance to approach. for you, I guess make yourself look approachable. Again, the scenario isn't exactly ideal but still worth a shot I reckon.

If you have another bright ideas, let me know ..........

Reply 14

DorianGrayism

19

Original post by fnatic NateDestiel

Best advice Craigslist, had a lot of good fun on there. So Craigslist personals MSW

You met a girl from Craigslist?

Reply 15

fnatic NateDestiel

18

Original post by DorianGrayism

You met a girl from Craigslist?

Nein, Herr Hitler :hitler: male for male hooker. Go to tinder to meet girls nomsaying.

I disprove of Hitler btw and discourage illegal activities.

Reply 16

Chocolatesoup

13

Original post by Anonymous

I really should have just had a field day at university BUT I didn't know who I was back then and was really shy...so I was just a wallflower. I'm pretty secure in myself these days, not shy at all - quietly confident.

Problem is I work full time and have one day off per week. Dating work colleagues is a no-go 1) because I've done that before and learnt my lesson and 2) I don't fancy any of my colleagues 3) Just no.

I don't know how to meet guys...I don't have close 'girl-friends' - just acquaintances and some good friends who work too or who have moved away (''adult'' friendships i.e. best friends turned e-mail correspondents!).

So I'm thinking - join a club and do something for a few hours on my day off (le sigh). But what type of clubs do people my age (early to mid 20's) go to? I'm not into clubbing or nightlife and the type of guys you generally meet there aren't looking for a relationship (well, not one that lasts more than an evening) - I'm thinking more of a day time club...but what? And where do you find a directory (wtf? I know) of such clubs?

I've looked at a couple of dating sites but the guys aren't my type - they're either really outgoing and full of themselves or the complete opposite. I think maybe dating sites are a bad idea...

I just want to meet a sane guy who has some ambition, manners, intellect, respect, a job and maybe looks quite nice.

Seriously...this is difficult. Ideas?

personally the best way I met new guys was through my friends, i.e. either at their parties where they invite everyone they know so its easier to mingle and meet new people, or theyve asked a guy friend to come to a night out purposely to 'set us up'/introduce us. but you cant really control your friends, as in its a bit desperate to say to them directly "do you know any single guys you could set me up with?" cos thats too forced. however it took me over a year to meet a guy this way (a guy who is right for me so it was worth the wait). so all i can suggest is going out as much as you can and mingling.

however if this isnt an option all i can think of is joining hobbies or clubs to meet new people. i tried to dating site thing and it didnt work, youll either not talk to guys who are your type, or theyll only want a one night stand, or theyll say they wanna meet then not show (yeah ive had a lot of bad experiences!). i find that the majority of people dont really take dating sites seriously, as in they arent really seeking a serious relationship, they just want someone to talk to and give them attention/fill their time. but if you want practice in making conversation and getting to know people, its a good place to get the hang of this for then meeting people in real life.