An Asian parent ask for help: my son wants to reject Cambridge’s offer
My son has received Trinity college's offer for math study with two scholarship total £24,000. But he wants to reject it.
After a serous discussion last night, he sent me an email:
"read it. carefully. and believe it or not, lauren is not the main reason i want to stay.
'You know Oxbridge is not the be all and end all, and so should they.’
'I understand it's Asian culture, but to be honest, doesn't matter what uni you go to as long as you like it and learn. Just cause you'll be going to Imperial doesn't mean you won't learn
Anyway, do what you want. I'm Asian and I'm not forced but whoever is, I tell them 'It's your life, live it how you want and not how others want you to''
'SO the only difference I believe there to be between them is:
1. You can name drop and say "I did a degree at Cambridge", although in my opinion that should be the last thing on your list when going to uni’
Here is my reply email
I appreciate what you are thinking, but disagree with your conclusion. The example you have here is nothing same as yours, and it can’t justify your decision to reject Cambridge’s offer.
- The kid was forced to apply Cambridge by his parents/teachers, you were not. It was your choice and you applied it yourself. You have a great patient in math study and Trinity College of Cambridge is the world best in math studying/ teaching. I didn’t want you to apply and your mom didn’t want you to apply at the beginning, because we will love you still live with us for a few years and avoid a huge potential cost by sending your to UK away Australia.
- We are not the same as those push Asian parents. As a parent we have given you great freedom to choose what you want to study. We did give you some advices regarding your university study, but didn’t force you to listen to us. We even didn’t look at what you put on in your final preference list and which university /degrees you are applying when you lodged your university application.
- It is absolutely no comparison between Sydney university and Trinity College of Cambridge in math study. You have shown great patient and great potential in math, proved by your achievements(Olympia silver Medal, Cambridge offer with a full School ship support, easy to complete trinity’s math test STEPS2/STEP3 without any preparation ). How can you argue it is not a right chose to Cambridge?
- It is also very important for you to understand that one of the major reasons we want you go to Cambridge is that you will have a chance to change your lifestyle and to have a more independent life, so you can grow up and become a man. You are such a brilliant boy and we have no needed to worry about anything in all you primary and high school study. But, as dad/mums’ single child and a brilliant student in school, you were a little bit spoiled in certain way. Other than brilliant in study, you are no so brilliant in real life thing. In past few years, you have been no interesting in getting your hands dirty in house work. You are loved by a lot of people around you and you may also care and love them, but you are not doing a good job, because you haven’t learnt how to do it properly. Go to Cambridge and have a few years of college life will be a good experience for a 17-year boy like you.
- Finally, it is absolutely no brain that you, as a 17-year boy, reject Cambridge offer because you have a girlfriend in Sydney Uni. Your EQ is absolutely no comparison to your IQ, Your high IQ only means you potentially have more problems in dealing with girls. You are not ready for any seriously relationship. A nice girl treats you nicely and make you happy is every boy’s dream, but it doesn’t mean it will do good to you in long time. Only when you really understand girls feel and know how to pick a right girl suitable for yourself rather than let girls to chase you, you can expect a healthy relationship and a happy end.
Has yours come through yet?