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    Okay first off I'm 20. Now that's out of the way I live in the middle of nowhere on the border of Devon. Travel costs me an excess of £100 a month just for trains, The 2 and a half hour round trips to plymouth are compulsory for everything! Usually it hurts a little less when I'm at college I'm happy getting up at 5, catching the train, getting everything done and coming hone at like 7PM but its hit me pretty hard this summer that I need to move as I'm just sitting here everyday now. Also the train times are ridiculous my curfew for heading home is 9pm otherwise I'm stuck overnight.

    Just a trip to the gym costs a fiver and 2:30 hours of my life and as an aspiring bodybuilder I go ALOT. I'm isolated from all my friends and feel like I'm living in confinement. I've only just got out of a 5 or so year long battle with depression and social anxiety so this life isn't good for me. Being alone for so long doing sod all in this house does a number on my confidence and productivity.

    I had this plan to move into accommodation so I could be closer to my friends, gym and college and possibly a new job because my current one also has me on 2 hour treks just further down into cornwall.

    If I do though my parents have to pay bedroom tax and they lose my rent contribution since atm I am a tenant. So they are refusing to help at all. They have the power to help me actually enjoy my life and live with a little convenience for once but they refuse and say I'm selfish because I'm done wasting away in this little cesspool of a village. I can't do it all by myself because I rely on my father so much at the moment and without any advice I know I'll screw up somehow.

    I really need some help I'm stuck here with NO one to talk to. My parents are the only ones in this village I know so when they ignore me I'm pretty much all alone.
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    Wow, your parents are dicks.
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    1) Work out a way of earning more money than you'll spend.
    2) Move out.

    If you really are 20 the days of asking for permission ended 2 years ago...
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    They wouldn't pay bedroom tax, they wouldn't get as much housing benefit. And I'm not sure hey can charge you rent in a council/housing association house
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    Well get some money saved up and move out.
    It's your life and your money and if they to PHYSICALLY try to stop you then just phone the police.
    They're being selfish. Do what is best for you! If they ignore you for trying to live your life, then you'll do better with out them. They'll hopefully come around, though.
    And you say you are a tenant, do you have some sort of contract?
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    (Original post by beccagood95)
    Well get some money saved up and move out.
    It's your life and your money and if they to PHYSICALLY try to stop you then just phone the police.
    They're being selfish. Do what is best for you! If they ignore you for trying to live your life, then you'll do better with out them. They'll hopefully come around, though.
    And you say you are a tenant, do you have some sort of contract?
    I know they can't stop me. I'm just being blackmailed saying I will put the family under if I go. Also I don't want to lose my parents its bad enough I'd be moving into my own place but I'd literally have no family left.

    And yes I have a contract. When they moved me down here from London they insisted I drew up a contract as well. I was nearly 19 then and at the pinnacle of my struggle with depression so I wasn't too opposed. I know its pathetic how much I depend on my father at my age but he kind of put me in a choke hold when he moved me here and I'm at his mercy. As the only 1 with access to a car (My mother can drive she just refuses to) my commutes to my current job are only possible with his help. No job in plymouth will take me because I live in the middle of nowhere and have no car.

    I can't get a new job until I move and I can't move without help unless I get a new job in plymouth.
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    How much rent do you actually pay?

    Can you explain about the bedroom tax element? Who owns the house? Do your parents get housing benefit?
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    (Original post by shawry)
    How much rent do you actually pay?

    Can you explain about the bedroom tax element? Who owns the house? Do your parents get housing benefit?
    Both me and my parents get housing benefit. They are saying if I choose to leave they would not only have to pay my share but they would get less housing because there would be an empty bedroom. And I pay 60 a month with the housing benefit. Both of them are disabled and can't work.

    The biggest Blackmail is that my father will cut his support for my commutes to my job which will make maintaining the position impossible. Basically rendering me fundless. Its such a dumb situation and I want to be rid of it but its like a lock.

    My landlord owns the house.
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    Who is the landlord? You only get a reduction in benefit if its social housing.

    Is your contract with the landlord yourself then? so you and your parents have separate rent books? as you are unable to claim housing benefit if you live with your parents and paying them rent.

    If you leave, then your parents may well get more money as their rent would have increased.
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    (Original post by Riberye)
    Both me and my parents get housing benefit. They are saying if I choose to leave they would not only have to pay my share but they would get less housing because there would be an empty bedroom. And I pay 60 a month with the housing benefit. Both of them are disabled and can't work.

    The biggest Blackmail is that my father will cut his support for my commutes to my job which will make maintaining the position impossible. Basically rendering me fundless. Its such a dumb situation and I want to be rid of it but its like a lock.

    My landlord owns the house.
    So get the bus or get another job.
    Save up and buy a 125cc motorbike then bugger off.
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    (Original post by Riberye)
    Okay first off I'm 20. Now that's out of the way I live in the middle of nowhere on the border of Devon. Travel costs me an excess of £100 a month just for trains, The 2 and a half hour round trips to plymouth are compulsory for everything! Usually it hurts a little less when I'm at college I'm happy getting up at 5, catching the train, getting everything done and coming hone at like 7PM but its hit me pretty hard this summer that I need to move as I'm just sitting here everyday now. Also the train times are ridiculous my curfew for heading home is 9pm otherwise I'm stuck overnight.

    Just a trip to the gym costs a fiver and 2:30 hours of my life and as an aspiring bodybuilder I go ALOT. I'm isolated from all my friends and feel like I'm living in confinement. I've only just got out of a 5 or so year long battle with depression and social anxiety so this life isn't good for me. Being alone for so long doing sod all in this house does a number on my confidence and productivity.

    I had this plan to move into accommodation so I could be closer to my friends, gym and college and possibly a new job because my current one also has me on 2 hour treks just further down into cornwall.

    If I do though my parents have to pay bedroom tax and they lose my rent contribution since atm I am a tenant. So they are refusing to help at all. They have the power to help me actually enjoy my life and live with a little convenience for once but they refuse and say I'm selfish because I'm done wasting away in this little cesspool of a village. I can't do it all by myself because I rely on my father so much at the moment and without any advice I know I'll screw up somehow.

    I really need some help I'm stuck here with NO one to talk to. My parents are the only ones in this village I know so when they ignore me I'm pretty much all alone.
    This is very misleading - they won't "not" let you move out - they're just not giving you money to move out. Why should they? I completely empathise with your situation, but if you don't like living at home then it's on you to save up and move, or take a loan, etc.
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    (Original post by JC.)
    So get the bus or get another job.
    Save up and buy a 125cc motorbike then bugger off.
    There is no bus. There is no way to my job period except by car. I'm not joking either the only method of transportation out of this dump in general is the train. There's no transportation that will get me to my job because its also in some backwards area in Cornwall :/ Not sure how practical a bike would be but its an idea I guess.

    I'm not lazy I've been trying to get a job like 3 applications daily but most reject me instantly because of where I live. That's the only reason. I present myself very well and have an impeccable job history. If I even get as far as a telephone interview the only thing that will be on the interviewers mind is "How is he getting to work and back?" "He isn't going to be flexible at all".
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    "Im willing to relocate if I get the job" has helped me in the past.

    Also, Im not sure what you mean by "Not sure how practical a bike would be but its an idea I guess." its entirely practical, and massively cheaper than a car to run/insure.

    So when you go to the gym, do you come straight home? stay out, go to employment agencies, dont get the train, go to the gym then go home. Make the 2.5 hours travelling worthwhile.
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    (Original post by odkfn)
    This is very misleading - they won't "not" let you move out - they're just not giving you money to move out. Why should they? I completely empathise with your situation, but if you don't like living at home then it's on you to save up and move, or take a loan, etc.
    Its a fair point they are not obligated to financially help me but at the very least I'd expect a little advice from my father who has been through the process of moving house. I was trying to talk to him about the housing benefit situation earlier and he just kept blanking me and went to pass the hoover to drown me out as if I was an annoying 5 year old or something.

    My primary concern at the moment is leaving them in a financial s**tstorm because they have already reached the benefits cap and have quite a few debts because my mother doesn't have any concept of how to use credit responsibly. I can't talk to them my dad just blanks me and my mother fakes a panic attack or some BS and refuses to speak. Dysfunctional isn't the word I'm afraid.

    He has also threatened to cut his support in getting me to work which would render me fundless. Hence why I HATE depending on him but its the situation he's put me in. When we moved down here I HAD to sign a contract for the house and become a tenant and I HAD to get a job ASAP even if its at the other end of cornwall. They gladly exercise the control my circumstances give them freely. Its another big reason I need to get out of here.

    A loan may an option but I don't know anything about the process and again I have no one to guide me.

    To the best of my knowledge I can finance my move myself and maintain my current job temporally. Its just them.
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    (Original post by shawry)
    "Im willing to relocate if I get the job" has helped me in the past.

    Also, Im not sure what you mean by "Not sure how practical a bike would be but its an idea I guess." its entirely practical, and massively cheaper than a car to run/insure.

    So when you go to the gym, do you come straight home? stay out, go to employment agencies, dont get the train, go to the gym then go home. Make the 2.5 hours travelling worthwhile.
    Like I said I know nothing about bikes. I apologize if I sounded arrogant I just don't know if a 2 hour minimum bike journey to and from work is practical and It would seem like an unnecessary additional expense. I will look into it though.

    I do make the most out of my trips. I'm forced to usually regardless because the trains run so infrequently.
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    (Original post by Riberye)
    Its a fair point they are not obligated to financially help me but at the very least I'd expect a little advice from my father who has been through the process of moving house. I was trying to talk to him about the housing benefit situation earlier and he just kept blanking me and went to pass the hoover to drown me out as if I was an annoying 5 year old or something.

    My primary concern at the moment is leaving them in a financial s**tstorm because they have already reached the benefits cap and have quite a few debts because my mother doesn't have any concept of how to use credit responsibly. I can't talk to them my dad just blanks me and my mother fakes a panic attack or some BS and refuses to speak. Dysfunctional isn't the word I'm afraid.

    He has also threatened to cut his support in getting me to work which would render me fundless. Hence why I HATE depending on him but its the situation he's put me in. When we moved down here I HAD to sign a contract for the house and become a tenant and I HAD to get a job ASAP even if its at the other end of cornwall. They gladly exercise the control my circumstances give them freely. Its another big reason I need to get out of here.

    A loan may an option but I don't know anything about the process and again I have no one to guide me.

    To the best of my knowledge I can finance my move myself and maintain my current job temporally. Its just them.
    The internet > your parents advice.

    You're their child, not their ticket to free money or their financial adviser. Getting a loan is as easy as going into the bank and asking for it - if you're a student you can get an interest free one anyway!

    Plus, if you've tried to speak to them about it and they're ducking you then it's their fault if you do something rash.
 
 
 
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