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How to accept myself? How do you accept yourself? Watch

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    I have realised I have a problem. I can't stop obsessing over the way I look. It has taken over my life and I just want to stop caring and be happy.
    It is weird because I hate it when people value others for their looks so I just dont see why I am being hypocritical by caring so much.

    I compare myself to every other girl and can see beauty in others very easily and personality and a kind heart definitely affects my estimation of others, boy or girl... yet I worry so much and get upset that I will never be considered good looking.

    I know how it started. A guy I was friends with kicked me down about my looks so much (later confessing to liking me) and made me feel like absolute ****. I obsessed over changing myself so that I can kick him back in the face but I have never felt like I have reached that goal that I set myself. I have never ever felt good enough for him. Because of him I developed an eating disorder (which I am now managing but still struggle), because he would call me a fat when I was a size 8- 10.

    I cried so much at the GP's when I realised what i have come to. I'd have never have thought I would be like this. I used to feel so sorry for other girls who were so obsessed over their looks that they couldnt be happy. I now feel the same and I feel trapped. I feel like I will never accept myself and I am so scared of that happening!
    Please can someone give me advice! I am disgusted in myself because I know its not right to be like this. I used to spend my time last summer reading in my free time and I loved it so much. Now I feel like soo much of my time is being preoccupied with wondering why I just cant be pretty!
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    Look at pictures of ugly people on Google, look at pictures of starving children, look at pictures of people with genetic disorders and life threatening illnesses which make them look like lumpy mash potato. It always helps me accept myself because I know "hey, I'm only 15, maybe I'll improve in looks: but these people sure won't!" and it makes me realise that complaining about petty things like looks is kinda rude to those dying and to people that will always look like they've been hit multiple times with a shovel.
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      I actually don't, I barely tolerate myself. The easiest thing for me is to distract myself from me imo
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      (Original post by HappyHylian)
      Look at pictures of ugly people on Google, look at pictures of starving children, look at pictures of people with genetic disorders and life threatening illnesses which make them look like lumpy mash potato. It always helps me accept myself because I know "hey, I'm only 15, maybe I'll improve in looks: but these people sure won't!" and it makes me realise that complaining about petty things like looks is kinda rude to those dying and to people that will always look like they've been hit multiple times with a shovel.

      The thing is that I understand all this already. Looks genuinely dont affect me much and I know how petty it is. Looks fade and everyones perception is different and alot of ideas are socially constructed. Yet, I cant stop obsessing. I keep thinking "if only I change this or that, then I can meet with X and he will regret treating me like that"... and it never happens. I never feel good enough when I know I shouldnt care about this idiot anyway.
      Also, people tell me I am pretty yet I cant be happy with myself and dont believe them or want to be better (because obviously there are many many girls who are much prettier), and I know that there will always be people better looking than me and that I am good enough for most people's standards yet I just cant accept myself, so wont let anyone else either
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      I used to be quite insecure because I was in a bad state during sixth form.

      Come uni, I'm a more confident person because I have accepted myself for who I am.
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      PM me if you want - might be able to help you:ninja:
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      It's hard to accept yourself, but their are ways to do it. One of way is to feel like you look better. Workout or buy outfits that you look good in help a lot. Specially working out because that releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy.
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      Has anyone suggested CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) to you

      I was referred by my GP because I have some self-esteem issues and have found it really beneficial. It's not counselling per se, rather you are guided through techniques on how to recognise the hateful thoughts you have about yourself and learn how to break the negative thought cycle that makes you feel down and promotes a more positive self-image.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I have realised I have a problem. I can't stop obsessing over the way I look. It has taken over my life and I just want to stop caring and be happy.
      It is weird because I hate it when people value others for their looks so I just dont see why I am being hypocritical by caring so much.

      I compare myself to every other girl and can see beauty in others very easily and personality and a kind heart definitely affects my estimation of others, boy or girl... yet I worry so much and get upset that I will never be considered good looking.

      I know how it started. A guy I was friends with kicked me down about my looks so much (later confessing to liking me) and made me feel like absolute ****. I obsessed over changing myself so that I can kick him back in the face but I have never felt like I have reached that goal that I set myself. I have never ever felt good enough for him. Because of him I developed an eating disorder (which I am now managing but still struggle), because he would call me a fat when I was a size 8- 10.

      I cried so much at the GP's when I realised what i have come to. I'd have never have thought I would be like this. I used to feel so sorry for other girls who were so obsessed over their looks that they couldnt be happy. I now feel the same and I feel trapped. I feel like I will never accept myself and I am so scared of that happening!
      Please can someone give me advice! I am disgusted in myself because I know its not right to be like this. I used to spend my time last summer reading in my free time and I loved it so much. Now I feel like soo much of my time is being preoccupied with wondering why I just cant be pretty!
      hey the names james nice to meet yeh kid

      firstly some nice music..and a cuppa of tea if yeh can p
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEx9khD5HDA

      there yeh a wee bit more relaxed now
      thats better.

      now down to the business

      the reality is many girls..hell many people in general have this issue
      so dont feel disgusted or shameful

      the most beautiful intelligent friendly kind funny ..of gurls had these problems.

      you should proud of the fact you struggle.it what makes you human.its what links you to me and to the next person down the street.

      why not instead of hanging your head in shame you sit up straight and and smile..like this

      you can use this experience..a this strong experience..to change your life forever

      you can become more insecure and paranoid in a spiralling fashion until god knows what happens

      or stand proud after living through such an experience..recognise youre not perfect..but thats what makes yeh the most special

      look at the rich...the poor cant compare..even the normal people cant compare. then were all surprised when rich people dont end up happy

      imperfections are as much a blessing as a chore.
      its all how you yeh see it kid.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I have realised I have a problem. I can't stop obsessing over the way I look. It has taken over my life and I just want to stop caring and be happy.
      It is weird because I hate it when people value others for their looks so I just dont see why I am being hypocritical by caring so much.

      I compare myself to every other girl and can see beauty in others very easily and personality and a kind heart definitely affects my estimation of others, boy or girl... yet I worry so much and get upset that I will never be considered good looking.

      I know how it started. A guy I was friends with kicked me down about my looks so much (later confessing to liking me) and made me feel like absolute ****. I obsessed over changing myself so that I can kick him back in the face but I have never felt like I have reached that goal that I set myself. I have never ever felt good enough for him. Because of him I developed an eating disorder (which I am now managing but still struggle), because he would call me a fat when I was a size 8- 10.

      I cried so much at the GP's when I realised what i have come to. I'd have never have thought I would be like this. I used to feel so sorry for other girls who were so obsessed over their looks that they couldnt be happy. I now feel the same and I feel trapped. I feel like I will never accept myself and I am so scared of that happening!
      Please can someone give me advice! I am disgusted in myself because I know its not right to be like this. I used to spend my time last summer reading in my free time and I loved it so much. Now I feel like soo much of my time is being preoccupied with wondering why I just cant be pretty!
      I think the first thing you need to do is to dissociate from the bad company. If they keep making critical comments, you can be quite sure that it's no mistake. Spend your time on something you enjoy (e.g. your hobbies) and if you don't know what that is, try new things. Put yourself in an happy environment more often.

      I believe that everybody should really appreciate themselves, their lives, etc. and take nothing for granted. In the history of the universe, there will only be one you. Totally unique and therefore not expendable. There has been no-one like you in the past nor will there ever be.

      P.S. Something I remind myself when I'm down. "I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."
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      It is really hard to accept your body once you have thougths like that.
      I used to suffer from anorexia and after my recovery (my bmi is perfectly normal) it was the worst part:to accept my body when I was wearing size 8(instead of 0) .. I'm still not sure if I accept my body completely but it is better now! Try to look and focus at your strengths- maybe you have beautiful hair, long legs or big eyes?
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      There isn't much to it in my eyes.

      Basically it goes like this

      Just **** what anybody else says

      Posted from TSR Mobile
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      I used to be quite insecure. Dunno how,but i learnt to be happy with the way i look and i'm confident now. You should try to stop comparing yourself to other girls,cause it's useless. There'll always be more attractive people,so there's no point allowing others to lower your self esteem.
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      learn to not be so rational, forget about your flaws and just embrace yourself and give 0 ****s about other people's opinions - the sooner you learn to live like this, the better and more fun your life will be
     
     
     
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