I have 2 groups of friends that I hang out with as I live in 2 different towns, both groups are under 10 people, in my hometown I have all male friends and where I live for study is all female.
I have an active sex life, I can pull quite easy when with the female group, I do enjoy it but its only casual fun. I am aware of how attractive I am, not big headed just based on the attention I get.
I speak to both groups jokily about normal things but never deep conversations which I never really have, I don't have a friend that I can have a open conversation with , they assume I can take care of myself and that I'm a happy person.
But in all honesty I am deeply depressed as I don't feel like people don't notice me or actually get to know me, I want people to ask me about my interests but it never happens, just seeing based on what I look like.
I would like a girlfriend as I've never had one, I've gotten bored of emotionless flings and now I want a proper relationship so I want be open and have someone understand me.
Its hard to describe but I feel lonely even though I'm surrounded by lots of people, I don't know what to do to stop feeling like this.
... and the ones that won't