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Thinking about yourself, what do you have to offer in your friendships? Watch

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    When people think of you as a friend; When your friends make plans and (actually want to) invite you to them; When you form bonds that aren't family related; It's because you have 'something' that is desirable (presumably an attractive characteristic of your personality rather than physical object)



    I find it difficult to answer the question myself (other than "reliable" and "nice" which my therapist said is more like something you would tell your employee), so I was wondering what kind of answers other people would give
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      I don't have anything to offer so I don't know why anybody would want to be friends with me.
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      (Original post by Maid Marian)
      I don't have anything to offer so I don't know why anybody would want to be friends with me.
      That's the spirit.

      Good humour, I often do embarrassing things, fun drunk, I'm good at buying presents, generous, I have hobbies and interests that generate discussion/debate, sharp intellect and witty repartee etc. etc.
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        (Original post by Viva Emptiness)
        That's the spirit.

        Good humour, I often do embarrassing things, fun drunk, I'm good at buying presents, generous, I have hobbies and interests that generate discussion/debate, sharp intellect and witty repartee etc. etc.
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        Humour, knowledge, advice, fun, kindness, favours, etc. There's probably quite a lot that I give to different people in different ways, and a lot that I receive from my friends in turn.
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        Rage, stress and embarrassment.

        That makes a good friend (Y)
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        I can fart on cue, always good for cheap laughs
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        Absolutely nothing whatsoever, that's why I've never had any friends at all. Boring, dull, stupid, weird and unattractive. I can barely tolerate my own self.
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        (Original post by Stinkum)
        Absolutely nothing whatsoever, that's why I've never had any friends at all. Boring, dull, stupid, weird and unattractive. I can barely tolerate my own self.
        Hey, you're self depricating, that's often seen as an attractive quality as you can laugh at yourself
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        I think I'm quite sociable and easy to talk to. I'm also have my rage moments that some people find amusing.

        I'm reliable and loyal and I like to have fun so I think those are my 'selling points'.
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        Advice, humour, mystery.

        With my closest friends, all they talk about are their problems. I'm like their ****ing therapist. Oprah would LOVE our conversations. They're almost desperate to know me as I intrigue them like no one else does (their words). When I'm not playing therapist they try to interrogate me on my past boyfriends, my mental state, and personal things about me. I don't like friends/family getting close to me. Other than depression and my ED, they don't know about my more serious mental illnesses. They asked about past boyfriends a few weeks ago and I kept it brief yet still it was enough for one of them to tell me "you have attachment issues". I thought it was so hilarious because they don't know about my borderline personality disorder. They've known me for 9 years yet they have no idea who I am and that makes them want to know more. As for humour, I always thought I was the most serious/humourless one in our group but last time we saw each other I noticed that every time I walked out of the room the conversation would turn serious. Every time I encourage them to go out without me they refuse because they think it'll be weird. I never understood why until I realised I'm the one that keeps things light and provides some comic relief. I find that so weird because I'm the most screwed up one in our group so I never imagined they would need me for humour, of all things.
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        (Original post by Maid Marian)
        I don't have anything to offer so I don't know why anybody would want to be friends with me.
        What about other broken people?
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          Compassion, life experiences and loyalty.

          I try utmost best to be there for my friends, and especially if they need advice or support, I try and give them my best help possible. Giving them options, and allowing them to come up with their own ideas too. Together I am there for them if they need me, and I am a good listener. I try not to get too involved as its often come back to bite me on the butt. That being said..once bitten twice shy on that one. I like to think I have been through enough things to be able to have an insight of what to do in certain situations to give support.
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          I'm ****ing hilarious
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          1) funny.
          2) I do funny stuff. Stuff you wouldn't expect that makes people laugh
          3) I'm a free spirit which is fun to be around
          4) fiercely loyal. If you're my friend I'll help you with pretty much anything
          5) open minded and non judgemental. If you need to talk to someone at 4am about your self harm or whatever, I'm always here.
          6) I have unique hobbies which make for good conversation and cool events to go to
          7) I'm a nice person
          8) I'm empathetic and kind
          9) I'll stick up for you.
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          Sense of humour is probably the main thing tbh. Also people tend to trust me cus I've got such strong morals lol.
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          Honestly, it comes down to one thing I think... free, non-judgemental therapy.
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          Humour. I get along really well with people who can be laid back and have an immature sense of humour, just people who are up for having a laugh instead of being serious all the time.
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          If you love Joy Division, The Smiths, Minecraft, Star Trek or Stargate - I can talk to you for hours on end about them and wouldn't call you a hipster or geek for liking those things.

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          I'm a good listener. Every single person (myself included) jump at the chance to be able to chat about themselves and I like hearing about people's opinions and hobbies so they go hand in hand. Like the other day my friend was talking to me for over 30 minutes about what conventions he wants to go to even though I myself have no interest or knowledge regarding them. Only problem is it means that they get used to talking about themselves so I swear some of my friends barely know anything about me lol
         
         
         
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