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    Please keep anon, this is extremely embarrassing as I've fallen for someone so quickly and now I'm getting anxious.

    I suffer from quite bad anxiety and am a very paranoid person who has never had much luck with the guys, so for an ego boost I guess I downloaded tinder. I got talking to this absolutely lovely guy and for the last few weeks we've been talking every night on Skype and in my head I really really like him and I keep imagining our lives together etc.

    However, recently he's been saying he's been 'busy' but I can see that he's been on tinder as it says when he was last online and he lies by saying he didn't take his phone out etc well obviously he did as he's been online and therefore chatting to other girls! But then he comes back and (often sexually) skypes me so I'm confused and need your advice.

    I really really like him but it makes me sad that he's always on tinder (even though we aren't exclusive) and then lies to me about it. What do I do? I've made jokes about tinder and hes always lied being like 'oh obviously I only speak to you' which is obviously a lie.

    This is bringing all my anxiety back!
    • #2
    #2

    Hey, I'm a guy and on tinder too. Guys are always talking to different girls just to let you know. Listen one question. I know you skyped but have you guys met? If yes then good maybe ask him to go out again and try being a bit sexual to him if he is to u, if not then ask him if he would be interested to come over and see what happens! If he sees that you're an open girl he might like you and give you more attention. This isn't a promise but its worth a try goodluck!
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    Ask to meet him irl for a date or something see what he says. I'll be honest when it comes to women half of what a guy does or says is because he is horny or wants sex, and the other half is genuine. Being honest tinder isn't really for meeting the love of your life, ofc it could happen, but more likely than not it's just for ego boosting/casual dating or sex.
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    Sounds like a bit of a ****. He's just using you for sexy Skype sessions. That's the thing with tinder... You know that theyre talking to other girls. You deserve someone so much better!

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    You have anxiety. No man wants you and your baggage.

    Peace
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    I'm worried if I confront him when we meet then he'll think I'm crazy though!
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    (Original post by holson)
    Sounds like a bit of a ****. He's just using you for sexy Skype sessions. That's the thing with tinder... You know that theyre talking to other girls. You deserve someone so much better!

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    in the same way we know that girls are talking to other guys
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    Ummm, you sound a little bit crazy. If you aren't exclusive, stop being so uptight and needy. If you want exclusivity, ask the guy to meet up, have a few dates and see where it goes.
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    in the same way we know that girls are talking to other guys
    Yeah that too ^^^

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    (Original post by Mathsz0r)
    Ummm, you sound a little bit crazy. If you aren't exclusive, stop being so uptight and needy. If you want exclusivity, ask the guy to meet up, have a few dates and see where it goes.
    But why does he lie then and says he's asleep/busy when he's just sitting on tinder?!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But why does he lie then and says he's asleep/busy when he's just sitting on tinder?!
    Why does it concern you what he does with his time? If you aren't together, he can do whatever he likes. You've never even met the guy. You've clearly never had a relationship, have you?
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    (Original post by Mathsz0r)
    Why does it concern you what he does with his time? If you aren't together, he can do whatever he likes. You've never even met the guy. You've clearly never had a relationship, have you?
    I had an awful last relationship so I guess I'm just scarred! I just don't get the lying. Is it okay to ask him what he wants from us? EG hook up, relationship etc?
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    Chat to loads of guys, not just one. Because chances are they're doing exactly the same. Don't get attached to this current guy.

    Now if you feel like he's lead you on, seduce hom then crush any dreams that he may have of you getting with him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had an awful last relationship so I guess I'm just scarred! I just don't get the lying. Is it okay to ask him what he wants from us? EG hook up, relationship etc?
    Don't waste your time. You'll get someone who doesn't lie.
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    I hope so - he's currently pretending he's at dinner without his phone (oh and still on tinder of course!)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hope so - he's currently pretending he's at dinner without his phone (oh and still on tinder of course!)
    You know, it could be running in the background.
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    OP, you've made it sound like he only talks to you when he's going to get some sexual satisfaction out of it. Is that the case? If so, that might be all he wants from you. Maybe you should consider whether you want more than that.

    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    Now if you feel like he's lead you on, seduce hom then crush any dreams that he may have of you getting with him.
    ...or she could just cut contact with him and move on with her life, rather than being bitter.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anon, this is extremely embarrassing as I've fallen for someone so quickly and now I'm getting anxious.

    I suffer from quite bad anxiety and am a very paranoid person who has never had much luck with the guys, so for an ego boost I guess I downloaded tinder. I got talking to this absolutely lovely guy and for the last few weeks we've been talking every night on Skype and in my head I really really like him and I keep imagining our lives together etc.

    However, recently he's been saying he's been 'busy' but I can see that he's been on tinder as it says when he was last online and he lies by saying he didn't take his phone out etc well obviously he did as he's been online and therefore chatting to other girls! But then he comes back and (often sexually) skypes me so I'm confused and need your advice.

    I really really like him but it makes me sad that he's always on tinder (even though we aren't exclusive) and then lies to me about it. What do I do? I've made jokes about tinder and hes always lied being like 'oh obviously I only speak to you' which is obviously a lie.

    This is bringing all my anxiety back!
    jaysus some terrible advice there so had to step in..no offence guys..

    okay firstly...try not to be embarrassed..part of gaining confidence is accepting your circumstance and not being embarrassed whatever the scenario..

    hmmm you simply dont know him long enough or seen him in real life enough to know what hes like..many people can charm their way trust me...

    hes busy he doesnt want to talk...bored..possibly actually busy but even they he could probably fit yeh in..perhaps not getting what he wants..hes after something more sexual probably from what you said...

    question is what do you want:?

    look I get you dont get much luck with lads..but try to not be too clingy..build confidence doing other stuff maybe not being with guys...especially suspicious liars who can charm well

    any questions fire away
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    If you meet him make sure you either take some form of a weapon like a gun or bring backup there are all kinds of creeps on tinder so just be careful and try and meet in a public place


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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    How wrong is it if I meet him just for a one nighter? That's pretty much all he wants it seems but I'm not sure if emotionally I can accept it...
 
 
 
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